So you’re 42 years old, and you’ve just discovered Facebook. You signed up and immediately searched for other Facebook members you went to school with, and you promptly started sending them friend requests. I was one of those people you sent a request to.
I need to ask you a favor. Before you start sending out friend requests, how about providing some identifying information beyond your name and the fact that we graduated high school together. For example, maybe at least post a photo of yourself on your profile? In fact, fill out your whole profile before you start sending friend requests. Facebook also provides a nice little text box in which you can type a short message to be sent along with with your friend request. So if you somehow remember me from high school, you can type a little reminder of how you remember me. For example, “Hey, I was in Mr. So-and-so’s math class with you!”
You see, though we graduated the same year from the same school, I only attended that school for that one year. Before Senior year, I lived on the other side of the state. We didn’t grow up together. So I had a brief span of about eight or nine months out of my 42 years on this Earth in which I may have had a chance to meet you, and that was 25 years ago. Unfortunately, a few short months in a highly structured environment like high school did not allow me the opportunity to meet and personally get to know all 300+ students in our graduating class. For example, it wasn’t until the school-sponsored graduation party that I discovered that there were four Japanese foreign exchange students graduating with us. In a 99% white school (there were 2 black kids - twin brother and sister - and I think three Mexicans in my graduating class) you’d think they would stand out, but I somehow never laid eyes on them until that night. So unless I had reason to personally interact with your [presumably] white ass on multiple occasions, I’m afraid I’m not going to remember you. Even if we had a class together, I probably don’t remember you unless it was a class that facilitated a lot of student interaction, like band class.
I’m pleased to imagine that I somehow did something during those few short months to make such a memorable impression on you that you remember me 25 years later, but I accept that it’s more likely that you either found my name in the list returned when you searched for “Wenatchee High School 1984”, or you spotted my name on a mutual friend’s Friend List and that’s the only reason you sent the Friend Request. So please don’t be offended when I don’t approve your request. I simply have no idea who the hell you are.
And for the ladies: Maybe I did know you very well in high school. Maybe I even went out with you once or twice, or at least had the hots for you. But I’m afraid I haven’t carefully followed the wedding announcements in the newspaper for the last 25 years. When you send your friend requests, could you perhaps include your maiden name? I’m afraid I knew several Tracys and Jennifers and Susans and Megans and C/Kathys. Thank you for posting several recent photos of yourself on your profile. But you look … different … now, and the photos don’t always help. Also, if you have one of those names like Tracy or Chris or Pat that can be either male or female, and your only profile photo is of you and your husband/partner/SO, do me the favor of pointing out who is who. Otherwise I’m now staring at both of you trying to figure out which person in the photo I might actually know and thus might have sent the friend request. (Yes, I’ve gotten a couple like this where the profile shows a Relationship Status of “Married” or “In a Relationship”, but the person hasn’t filled in their sex. And one, under the “Interested In” field, said "Men, Women; so the person was apparently bisexual, hadn’t indicated his/her own sex, and posed with his/her opposite-sex partner without identifying which person was him/her.)
