Fear and Loathing in Green Bay, or How I Learned to Love the Pack (almost)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

How Wonderful the Packers Are

By Zanshin

Okay, so I made a silly bet with Hamlet and am now suffering the consequences. Damn Brett Favre and his fancy-schmancy passing. In Chicago, we don’t NEED passing! Why, when I was a young Zanshin, we didn’t pass, we just ran the ball every play, whether we liked it or not! Cold, snow, uphill, both ways, that’s how we did it! And we didn’t have any ‘time outs’… they were for sissies! We gave all ours to the other team, 'cuz we didn’t need 'em!

But I digress…

As much as this pains me to write it, I write in praise of the Packers. Yes, the horribly-clad fashion victims of the green and gold, who are STILL second-place in our division, behind the beloved Bear… As much as my gorge rises at the thought, I have to admit one simple fact.

The Packers are a pretty damn good team.

I may believe that some of their fans are the most obnoxious people ever (present company excluded, of course, Ham), but they’re a talented team. For a lot of reasons.

  1. Favre. Now, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like Brett Favre. First, his name. Either he’s mispronouncing it or misspelling it, one or the other. (Shouldn’t he pronounce it Fav-ruh?) Second, I’m conditioned to hate anyone who wears green-and-gold, or anything with that ridiculous ‘G’ on it. But if you just look at the guy’s stats… he’s one helluva quarterback. He’s accurate. Example – Turkey Day’s game against Detroit. 18 of 26, 235 yards. Not spectacular, but not too shabby, either. (Not when you’re from Chicago and lately if you break 200 yards passing, it’s a miracle.) Hate to say it, but I’m thinking he’s a definite Hall of Famer someday.

  2. Ahman Green. I have to admit, I’m really looking forward to the Chicago/Green Bay game coming up in a couple of weeks, because I really wanna see how this guy’s gonna stack up against our rushing defense. Five yards average per carry for the season. Now that’s pretty damn good! Plus, he’s a decent backup receiver. Nine yards per catch average… there are plenty of WRs out there who can’t say the same.

  3. Green Bay’s offensive line. Now, I don’t know much about these guys, not having congenital brain damage and actually following Green Bay (Hey! Ow! Stop hitting me, I’m sorry!), but I gotta say, as infrequently as Fav-ruh gets sacked, these guys must be doing the job right.

  4. Green Bay’s defense. Three sacks against the Lions is never a bad thing. :slight_smile:

  5. Freeman and Franks. Hate to see these guys get their hands on a catch, because if they do, they’re GONE. Definitely not the type of receivers to quit after a catch; they’re always struggling for those extra couple of yards, which is the mark of a good receiver.

  6. Coaching, especially on the offensive side. Good coaching, good playcalling. Very talented at keeping opponents off-balance.

  7. The fact that they beat the Bears in our last matchup. Now I’ll be the first to say, even being a Bears fan, that the Bears aren’t the team that the Packers are this season. We’re streaky, and we’ve had a lot of games that really could have gone the other way. We need a deeper passing game, and we need someone to actually cover in our secondary (can I interest anyone in a Walt Harris? Anyone? Bueller?). Green Bay is… this galls me more than you can ever know… overall, a better team. This may not be reflected in the standings, but I think it’s true. Green Bay’s simply solider and has a more balanced attack than the Bears.

(And it still pisses me off that Flanigan’s playing better for GB than he ever did for the Bear! Traitorous bastard!)

To be honest, I’m really looking forward to our matchup later this season. I think it’s going to be a hell of a game, much like our last one was, and I honestly believe the Bears are probably gonna lose that one. I’ll never root for the Pack (EVER), but I’ll admit they’re a solid, talented team.

Okay, Hamlet, there’s your essay. I now have to go and explain to all my Bears-fan friends what I’ve done, and receive their punishment and try to purge myself of this sin. The punishment will be more dire and drastic than you can ever imagine – it will most likely involve wearing a Packers jersey, being dropped off on Lower Wacker, and trying to make it home alive.

Happy now? :slight_smile:

2

Nope, it’s 229 words short.

::d&r::

3

Nice start, Zanshin. However, as eirroc pointed out, you’re a little bit shy (I actually counted 232 words short.) Just add an appendix A, and you’ll be done.

You’re a good sport too. Be careful or you might give Bear’s fans a good name.

4

C’mon, you guys, I already had to give up my membership in the Greater Chicagoland Rabid Bears Fan Entourage and my secret decoder ring because of the nice things I already said about the Pack, and you want MORE??? You guys are merciless! :slight_smile:

Awright, here goes…
Addendum A: More Reasons to Love the Pack
The only other good things I can say about the Pack are regarding the fans. All kidding aside, there’s not a lot of sports teams that have the devotion of their fans the way the Pack does. As much as Bears fans love to hate Packers fans, and vice versa, ya gotta give them props for their loyalty. For years, the Pack stunk. I’m not just talking stunk, I’m talking road-apple, who-died, rotten-vegetable, compost-heap, hey-what-did-you-step-in stunk.

But the fans stayed. In droves they stayed. And ya gotta hand it to 'em for that. Most sports teams lose their entire fan base when they start going downhill. Look at the Bulls, as an example. When they lost all their starters and they ended up in the toilet, the fans went away. I’ll admit, I stopped watching them when they started sucking, too. They just… lost all their heart, I guess. But when it came to the Bears, I watched every weekend, win or lose. Packers fans are the same way.

And if you need more evidence, just look at the fans, fer cryin’ out loud! Not a lot of people would be willing to wear green and gold (unless you’re a circus clown or something…), but Packers fans do it. And who else in the world would wear a piece of foam CHEESE on top of their skulls? In PUBLIC, no less! When you’re sitting in a public forum, wearing a gigantic piece of styrofoam Swiss cheese on your melon, now THAT’s devotion.

And only Packers fans would sit there and count every word in my first post. Anal-retentive bastards. :wink:

(That’s over 240 somewhere. Now I’m off to go find myself some heavy therapy to get over the memory of actually having to say something nice about the Pack.)

5

Good show guy. See ya in a coupla weeks at Lambeau.
BTW…that repetitive thumping sound you hear is jarbaby pounding her forehead on her monitor after reading this thread. :smiley:

6

This is indeed the saddest day in my short life. Zanshin…
I don’t know if I want to be your personal whore anymore

jar

7

I know, jar, I know, I ain’t exactly happy about it either, but a bet’s a bet. It’ll just learn me better next time that next time I make a bet on a Bears/Green Bay game, I’ll bet my cash, but not my dignity. :slight_smile:

8

Very Well Done, Zanshin.

Don’t worry, you have not lost any dignity, except in the eyes of some small-minded Bears fans (are there really any other kind?)

You’ll have your chance at revenge in 2 weeks. I’m thinking for the next bet, you could walk down Michigan Avenue in nothing but a Packer Jersey. That may cost you your dignity (or it may get you quite a few dates, if it’s not too cold out!!)

Kudos to you, and I’ll expect a thread in a couple more weeks!

:wink:

9

Uh, I believe it’s pronounced Bert Faver, it’s just spelled weird.