Fear of Death

Great Debates
1

I’ve had what I consider to be exceptionally bad luck with death. So far, in the last eight years alone, I’ve lost my mother, sister, grandmother, uncle, three best friends and two friends. Whenever the phone rings and it’s a long-distance from home, I get stiff. I almost know the format by now “[Variable] has passed away,” or “I have grave news.” This resulted in me developing the habit of standing in front of the sleeping bodies of family members and friends in different occasions to check if they’re breathing. Also, I worked in the ER room of a hospital for two years, and I’ve had first-hand experience with scores of dead bodies throughout.

Of course I didn’t need any of the above in order to descend into a dark limbo of thoughts about my own mortality day and night; I was already on top of this process since I gained my sentience. Also, you must know that I am an atheist, and so I have absolutely no sources of comfort or insight into what’s going to happen after death. I am well convinced that it’ll be the same thing that was going on before birth (nothingness), but I still fear it. I am not in love with myself, and I don’t believe that my death is going to be any special occasion for many people, but this lurking certainty is hanging oppressively low in the sky day and night; its jaws clasping towards my flesh every time I find myself indulging in any Earthly happiness. Do you feel the same way?

2

The “checking that people are still breathing” thing is a bit much, and sounds, to be frank, a little OCD.

But the rest of it, yeah, that’s pretty much the human condition. We’ll all die someday, and that’s a scary thought (and that’s quite aside from understandable fears / resentment regarding growing old).
Part of being human is trying to quell such thoughts and make the best of what we have. We have such a short time…don’t waste it thinking about how we have such a short time :slight_smile:

A common meme in this kind of discussion is that fear of death is irrational because you aren’t there to experience death.
But, like many things that people say to comfort themselves, it doesn’t really work when you scrutinize it. We can fear something being taken away (e.g. losing ones vision), and we can fear things outside of our set of experiences (for example, if I knew after my death a loved one was going to be tortured, I wouldn’t just shrug my shoulders and say “I won’t be around to see or know about that”).

(And don’t even get me started on that philosopher (I can’t recall his name), who recently argued we should only fear uncertain events, so it’s irrational to fear death because it’s certain).

3

I found it freeing, you have an expiration date unknown to you, could be tomorrow could be a century from now. Now with that uncertainty realize that wasting even a day is a bad idea.

I don’t fear death, I would like to avoid it for now since I have a small child though.

4

Fear of the unknown, and to some extent I do have some, I think it is natural, but I do have faith in escape from death and a very merciful God who will shield us from suffering unless we absolutely need it (and you do not have to believe in God for that)

I believe escape from death is possible, it does not matter what faith one is (or lack of), just if you have love in your heart and the willingness to let go of clinging to this life. This constitutes what Christians term the rapture, also what happened in the stoning of Stephan in Acts, and Jesus’ words that some of you will not taste death…’.

What I believe happens is at/close to the moment of death, God sends a messenger to offer to take us ‘home’ it is our choice. If we have love in our heart and learned the ways of love we will recognize our home and accept (so any faith (or lack of) has this available). If we have not, see next paragraph. I also believe in cycles of mass rapture, such as the tsunami that devastated parts of Asia and the holocaust and other mass casualty events. God saved many and spared them from death, others went through the dieing process. The view to the external person is the same, the person going to die appears to die, there is no physical difference, however one may be gifted to sense if they went into death or into life.

If a person chooses to cling to their physical body they will be permitted, and continue the cycle of death, which is more frequently called reincarnation. They will be born into the world and live another life, but this one will be harder, trying to learn, God trying to teach them, the lessons that they did not last time. This cycle will repeat till they learn the ways of love and escape death.

As such this is ‘hell’ so to speak. This here and now is the refining fire of pain and misery. God has given us a illusion and spares us from much unneeded pain that the true hell, if revealed in it’s fullness, would be unbearable. But with that said every cycle God generally will take away some protection, some of that illusion, because we didn’t learn it last time and God needs to impress it more by a stricter, more obvious lesson till we do learn.

5

Can I ask how old you are, OP? You’ve faced an exceedingly large number of close deaths if you’re 25, but not so much if you’re 65.

FO, non-atheists have no more comfort or insight to what happens than you do. I’m not up on the latest afterlife stats, but in theory aren’t a lot more people destined to eternal damnation than some paradise? Should that mean these religious people should find a lot more dread than comfort in contemplating death? And of course, whatever, they are comforted or frighted soley by their own imaginations, as are you.

6

I’d say with all the death that surrounds you it is almost as though you are blessed, in that its frigid touch hasn’t been laid upon you.

As Steve Jobs said, “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon (has been) the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.”

And isn’t it briskly refreshing at any time of day, whatever activity you are engaged in to think, “People have died doing this.”

7

There’s a book by an atheist activist named Greta Christina titled Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing To Do With God. You may enjoy it.

8

Sometimes, but always with fewer adjectives.

9

Not to me, no. :wink:

10

I don’t fear death - I fear dieing - in that I have no idea if it will be peaceful/painful or drawn out, etc.
Even back when I was a bible thumper - I didn’t fear death - as a ‘christian’ I knew there was nothing to fear (I was in god’s grace and destined for the happy place) - now, as an atheist - I know there is nothing to ‘fear’ - and if there is, what I don’t know doesn’t cause me trepidation.

but maybe I haven’t come into sentience yet…

11

Sorry to hear you’ve had so many losses come your way. Unfortunately, the longer we live, the more we’re going to experience loss. Not sure if the ones that check out early are the luckier ones or not, I sure will hate to be the last one standing in my close-knit family and small circle of friends, I think the loneliness would be just about unbearable, but yet at the same time realize what kind of loneliness it will be for my loved ones if they are the last one standing too in our close circle.

I expect absolute nothingness as well when I check out. Wishing for something doesn’t change the outcome one iota, so no need to dwell on it. Death is not something I fear, but the last years of declining health, if it is drawn out, and I’m having to rely on others now to help take care of me, especially dealing with America’s health care system is something I think I’m more frightful about. Seriously, I’m more worried about that than I am death. Eventually when this mind and body start to be no good to me or anyone else anymore, death will become my friend.

12

Haven’t read it, but have seen some of her bits on youtube, and she does know how to make one laugh, that is for sure.

I have always enjoyed Robert Ingersoll too. That man knew how to live. His eulogies he gave in his day for loved ones and friends are being used by others today. Most freethinkers are probably familiar with him, but for others that are not, here is one done at a child’s grave that some might appreciate. There were plenty of others I found moving including the one done at his brother’s grave.

13

Actually had her a bit confused with the comedian Cristina Rad, although it does look like she has some good stuff on youtube as well, but more serious.

14

Sorry for your losses, Morphine.

I’m afraid of pain, and I’m afraid of being forgotten–not so much death.

“For this fear of death is indeed the pretence of wisdom, and not real wisdom, being the appearance of knowing the unknown; since no one knows whether death, which they in their fear apprehend to be the greatest evil, may not be the greatest good. Is there not here conceit of knowledge, which is a disgraceful sort of ignorance?”
Plato, The Apology

15

That’s what I was going to say.

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” - Isaac Asimov.

I suppose it’s just as well that there isn’t any absolutely perfect way to die – no “super secret agent poison pill,” no magical light-switch that you can just turn off. If there were such a thing, suicide rates would probably be a lot higher.

It isn’t so much Hamlet’s fear of an afterlife, but merely the fear of a really nasty element of pain, that makes cowards of us all (or a great many of us.)

As for the abstraction of death – of no longer existing – it’s a bummer. Life is a great big soap opera, and I hate the thought that I’ll miss all the episodes that come after I’ve been written out of the show. I’d really like to know what happens next!

16

Look at it in a more positive way : the fear of death/dying is the one thing that (almost) always tops one’s disgust or disillusion with life.

Whaddaya mean that’s not very positive ? :slight_smile:

17

He eventually gets the girl, but then she dies in a freak incident involving a pineapple.

18

Cool, oh Asimov said that, eh. Now I know what I want for a tattoo. Or maybe I’ll settle for a t-shirt.:slight_smile:

19

Now I wish I didn’t know! :smack:

“…having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”

20

As someone once said, Christians want to go to Heaven, but they don’t want to have to die first to get there.