I have a totally irrational fear of the dentist. I have panic attacks. I get sweaty palms just talking about it now. I had a very bad experience with an Air Force dentist (what do you call a dentist who finishes at the bottom of his class? Captain!) and I haven’t been to the dentist since I left the AF in 2005. I literally cannot bring myself to do it. The sound of the drill just…I can’t even type about it. I even have a difficult time taking my daughter to the dentist.
Only a bitch and a half? Getting myself into that chair for the first time in a decade plus was at least three bitches, a shit, and a half a fuck no. 
My dentist growing up wasn’t gentle, good, or even caring but I survived all that without minding them all that much. What broke the camel for me was when I was 16 and drove my female-friend/semi-adopted-sister to her dentist appointment. Small town and an old friendly-type dentist who was taking her wisdom teeth out in the office. Did he use the wrong gas or something else happen? Don’t know. But he came out to the waiting room and told me I needed to run and get her parents NOW - she had just died in his chair. Hell of a load to dump on some kid. Ever since then I can’t even be near a dentist socially without getting something close to panic.
Wow…so sorry, kopek! What an absolutely horrible experience.
I should not be reading this thread…I have a dentist appointment on Monday. Sedation, thank goodness, but I’m getting a cleaning, three wisdom teeth pulled, and a root canal. Can you say dread?
I have pretty extreme dental phobia myself and as such haven’t been to the dentist in almost 5 years. Because I also have crooked teeth and an overjet I’m prone to cavities. I finally got myself to go back last this month. 12 cavities and 1 crown needed. I get 20mg of Valium before each visit and I’m good. I’m generally fine once the shot and drilling is over - I don’t mind the grinding and polishing to get the filling shaped properly.
I’m also getting braces (finally at the age of 41) so I won’t get so many cavities. Of course this also fills me with dread because of the 2 years of ortho visits and the 4 extractions I need before they install the hardware.
How much valium can a person take at a time anyway??
yeah, I don’t really put “dental fear” into the category of “irrational phobia” unless the person has lived a life blessedly free of horrifying, painful, inept, or psychologically disturbing dental experiences. And I know very few people who fall into that category.
I fear the dentist because I have had a lot of bad experiences. Dentists usually don’t believe me, when I tell them I am extremely hard to numb. As a result I almost always feel pain with a new dentist. Once they get used to my needs, if they aren’t total sadist assholes, they put down in my chart I am going to need 4 or 5 shots of anethetic for even basic procedures, we’re cool.
Also, I just have a lot of difficulty with the basic position for dental work. I have a very active gag reflex and (maybe relatedly, maybe not) I salivate a LOT when they are fooling around in the back of my throat, and I feel that there is ALWAYS post-nasal drip. Unless I can be more than normally upright (sometimes possible, sometimes not, depending on the work) I can constantly feel spit and mucus trickling into my throat, which triggers gags, which triggers saliva, which triggers gags, etc. basically I am supressing myself from vomiting and/or reacting to the feeling of drowning for the entire time. It’s just enormously uncomfortable, totally aside from the pain issue. I know and practice various methods to manage my anxiety but I don’t know how to make myself drool less.
Here you go PeskiPiksi, something to cheer you up…
Back when my Dad was a lad in rural NZ, the dentist had a treadle-powered drill. He says that it wasn’t so bad if you got an appointment early in the day when the dentist was still fresh… but by the afternoon he’d have got tired of pedaling and that drill was turning awfully slowly. :eek:
Ahhh… the wonders of modern dentistry. 
(De-lurking in the hopes that my experiences in this area can help someone)
This is a waaay too long post (apologies to all reading this) to say that I am an extremely frightened and anxious dental patient and I can totally relate.
Just skip to the bottom half it you don’t want to read my personal story and just see the suggestions 
I don’t know what triggered my almost incapacitating fear of the dentist; I can’t recall any bad childhood experiences, it seems as I got older, the fear and anxiety just overtook me. Then a few horrible adult experiences just made it exponentially worse.
I figured out after some time that the pain or sound wasn’t what bothered me. As mentioned earlier, strangers hands in my mouth = not good. Lying helpless on a chair with people rooting around, seemingly not giving a rat’s ass that I was currently having an extended panic attack left me feeling almost violated. It’s been awful.
It was 15+ years before I finally got to the point where my mouth was bothering more than the potential trauma of dentistry. (Money was an issue as well, but it was a distant 2nd to the panic and dread)
At that point, there was the added embarrassment at the state of my dental health due to avoiding treatment for so long.
I finally got dental insurance and started looking for a dentist. I set up meetings with the dentists before any evaluation or exam to make sure they were aware of my issues. It took 3 dentists before I just sucked it up and picked the least terrifying of the group. After the valium sedation and the gas, he stopped mid procedure and stated he could not work on me because I was too freaked out. I walked out traumatized, nothing fixed, and in horrible pain. I ended up finding an oral surgeon that used the IV sedation and got 4 teeth pulled.
After more fruitless searching, I finally just told myself, screw it, I’m just going to pull the rest of the bothersome teeth and get dentures. The person I saw for that, understood my anxiety, and was insistent that I didn’t absolutely need dentures; and with a few major procedures and several smaller ones I could save my own teeth; and that getting unnecessary dentures at just 40 years old would be something I would end up regretting. So I caved and didn’t do it. Thank goodness!!
He referred me to a prosthodontist, who I also met with beforehand. In the last 6 months I’ve had a 2 visit full mouth, numbed (with gas), scalar cleaning, a root canal, a crown, a quite large complicated filling, 2 smaller fillings, a regular cleaning and a chipped tooth fixed. With the gas! (I’m not giving up my gas!! Definitely worth the extra expense for me!) I started with the pre procedure valium sedation (that really didn‘t help much, by the way), but at this point, I don’t need it anymore.
In these visits I realized something that I never noticed before. Every other dentist just tried to plow through procedures, trying to get them done as fast as possible. I guess I thought that was the best way to go as well. My dentist now, stops for just a few seconds every time he notices I get fidgety. He also stops regularly during long procedures and gives me a few minutes to relax. He is very patient and kind, as are the staff. I’ve never felt judged at the state of my teeth, and they go out of their way to make me as comfortable as possible before anything even starts, and are verbally comforting throughout. Now going to the dentist is not the panic stricken event it used to be.
Overcoming the anxiety CAN happen. If you’re not comfortable with your dentist, find another one, and another one until you find the RIGHT one. TALK to them about all of your issues. A level of trust has to be built, or you will never be comfortable. It took me a long long time, but the wait and effort was SO worth it.
I also wholeheartedly agree with the music player and earphones mentioned earlier. I don’t go without mine.
I’m well on my way to a healthy mouth full of my own teeth without the paralyzing terror; thanks to finding the perfect fit between dentist and patient.
Good luck, I sure hope you can find someone like I did.
(I just realized I was saying “you”, meaning your sister. Best of luck to you both)