I hate you all with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, you bastards.
I have had a horrible dental history, stretching from them almost breaking my jaw to remove my wisdom teeth, when younger, through years, of dentist after dentist, being unsuccessful at freezing my teeth. Not every time, you understand about 1 time in 3.
And from the beginning they have always made it seem like it’s me, somehow. The fact that I’m enduring random electroshock like treatments, with my dentistry causes them no concern whatsoever, in my experience.
Inquiring, after such experiences, if perhaps I should better seek out a dentist who uses gas, I am told there is no need. Such things happen, yada, yada.
Over the course of 30 yrs I have forced myself to go in for this torture, knowing that, to stop going, would make things much much worse, in the long run. I used every technique I could to keep myself moving forward regardless. I made sure I was first appt of the day, so I wouldn’t wait and fret. I take my music player, a good luck charm. I have been to the finest dentists in the city. I always moved to another dentist, after freezing failure. It was just easier to delude myself into thinking, maybe this one will get it right, maybe this time it will be different.
Of course, I always tell them the difficulties I’ve experienced. They all have different reasons for why this is happening, (it’s your metabolism, it’s a misplaced nerve, etc, etc, more than I can even remember!) Never once, during a pain filled procedure did a dentist ever say to me, “We’ll just put in some more freezing!” No, universally they all said, “Well, we’re almost done!” Well, okay then, bring on the electroshock.
Eventually, and thanks to this board, I discovered sedation dentistry. While expensive, the dentists are much more accommodating and reassuring. No doubt from dealing with patients like me, who’ve been through a world of torture. The gas helps the nerves, but doesn’t help with the tooth freezing thing.
Many years ago, when I was at the uni, I went to the dental school for some work. They, one day, they could not get my tooth frozen. They made much of giving me another shot of ‘horse strength’ freezing, which proved ineffective. They then proceeded to put it all on me, somehow, and I left feeling truly awful. And I never returned, cost be damned.
2 yrs later, I’m working in a downtown bar, the Dental school is graduating and there’s my student. He recognizes me, and after a few drinks, comes to the bar to confess to me that the ‘horse strength’ freezing was all just a sham!:eek:
Having been under employed for sometime, and having 3 large teeth break in 6 wks, I find myself forced back to the uni dental school clinic. God help me. Understandably I was nervous in the extreme during the screening. I went to great length to explain about my dental history, in detail, to my student. I told him how my last dentist on hearing about upcoming sinus surgery, sent my dental xrays so the surgeon would be aware of the length of my teeth roots (very long indeed).
It’s like they can’t hear you. Or they don’t believe you. Or they think, “Well, that won’t happen with me as your dentist!”
Now I am not a weak woman, I’ll have you know. I have traveled alone in the third world, climbed volcanoes and mountains from the Himalayas to the Andes. I’ve hitchhiked to the Yukon! I was a caregiver for 6 yrs to someone, fully bedridden who was double my weight. I am not without boldness, strength and fortitude, I promise. But of course, the dentists don’t see or know that, they just see me as weak. I am a small woman and I feel like I’m being treated like a ‘foolish, scared girl’, to be humoured, but not much else.
But I find I am out of tricks, I’m out of nerve, I’m out of illusions, I just have no more muster.
When the student, at the screening, returned to inform me that they intended to go ahead and use the same techniques and drugs that have proven unsuccessful, so often, in the past, for my double extraction, giant crocodile tears began to leak from my eyes. You have got to be joking! Have you not heard one word I said, or do you just not care? Why is it unreasonable to expect/demand that anesthesia, is one thing, you should be able to rely upon, being 100% effective?
My tears and fearfulness were extremely upsetting to me, these are emotions that are new to me. I have always been able to overcome and face my fears. But dentistry has brought me to my knees and it is humbling.
The good news, is the student did shift my extraction to the dental surgery section, where they do have other drugs and can fully put you out. Which is what I’m hoping for, of course. It’s tomorrow and I’m nervous as hell, because I’m going to have to start at the beginning to convince yet another dentist to hear me, and understand me, and to please just knock me out. But, of course, I have no way of knowing if they’ll agree to it.
Wonderful, huh? If you’ve got prayers say them, if you’ve got spells cast them, good vibes-send them. I didn’t sleep much last night and probably won’t tonight. And even if this goes well, it’s only half way to done, God help me.
This sort of overpowering fear, is new to me and has my emotions all hanging out raw and ragged. I’m finding it very hard. Any suggestions are more than welcome.
So who’s with me? Hate your dentist too?
