I pit dentists/dentistry!

Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words, but especially the empathy. You cannot know how much better, it makes me feel, to know it’s not just me.

I do have a sleeping aid for tonight, I’d be lost without it for sure.

I’ve tried to get, the dentists I’ve seen, to okay me taking something before coming in, but they never agree to it. I’m a pretty small person, (and getting smaller by the day, I can’t eat much!) and sometimes I think that’s what’s working against me here. I think they under estimate how much juice to give me based entirely on my size. (yes, I’m aware that’s the protocol!) I think the same thing, may be at play, when it comes to taking something, ahead of time.

I’m due to go into the clinic at 8:45 am, being students things move somewhat slower than a professional office, everything is double checked by a prof before proceeding. So I’m thinking sometime around 9:30 I will be at the mercy of yet another damned sadistic dentist. Please, please, send me your good thoughts, and calming vibes, whatever you got, if you think of it. It can’t hurt.

Thanks again, your support is really helping!

Seriously, seriously, seriously, get up and leave if they do not listen to you and ignore that your teeth nerves are still awake. You also should tell them that you will do this, before you even get seated in the chair. Not in an angry or aggressive voice, but very calmly and seriously.

If you have a kid (and if you don’t, pretend you do for the sake of argument :p), imagine that it’s your kid in the dentist’s chair who can still feel all the pain and the dentist is telling him/her that it’s okay and they’re almost done. Would you just sit and seethe, or would you put a stop to their callous treatment of your child?

You are your only advocate, here. If you acquiesce because you don’t want to make a scene (even if you’re not aware that you do that, but just … freeze and somehow can’t say anything), they’ll continue to be total assholes. Don’t let them mistreat you. Don’t accept their complete lack of professionalism and empathy.

So go in, tell them what you need (or at least what you know does not work) and that you won’t let them do a single damned thing if you can still feel anything, that if they try, you will get up out of the chair and leave.

And if they still try that bullshit, get up out of the chair and leave.

Well, four out of five of them did agree on which gum to recommend.

Dentists, nothing–it’s the hygienists you have to watch out for.

~shiver~

I’d just started seeing a dentist after a 10+ year hiatus (and probably another 10+ before that). At the first appointment, the hygienist took about an hour to poke, scrrrrrrape, polish and use some horrible icepick to jab into each fucking tooth’s gumline–pausing each time to write some mystical number down. LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT!

Dentist came in for less than a minute to look over the x-rays, take three seconds to look in my mouth (to what, make sure the hygienist got everything?) and sent me on my way.

Yeah, dentist nothing–Beware the Hygienist!

Oh, the hygienist was checking the depth of your pockets. Not your wallet, the little pockets where your teeth meet your gumline. Or where they DON’T meet, in bad cases. I had to have a deep cleaning done a few years ago, and I hope that I never have to do it again.

As for sedation, I’ve had blood pressure problems and one dentist didn’t want to work on me unless I took an anti-anxiety pill an hour or so before my appointment. And he made sure that someone drove me to the office and back home.

Or bite. As in, they cause you pain, you jump and “accidentally” end up biting down. It “helps” the dentist believe that you are really feeling pain and not just being a wuss.

It’s just sad that anyone would feel they have to go that far, you know? If I even look like I’m thinking about wincing, my dentist pushes back immediately and puts his hands up where I can see them, so it’s clear he’s not wanting to hurt me and that he’s not continuing. I only had it happen once, where the nerve that counted was missed, and it took three tries to get the lidocaine in the right spot, but he made it clear that other measures would be taken if the tooth didn’t get properly numbed, or we would re-schedule the session.

Clearly, elbows has not had that kind of experience, repeatedly, as it sounds like many others as well. It shouldn’t happen, and what is one supposed to do if it does, and someone’s hands are in your mouth? Yeah, bite 'em comes to mind.

And then they say something like “Gee your gums are really bleeding!” Wow, really? They weren’t bleeding when I came in here… I wonder what could have caused it? You think it might have been you Beni-Hana-ing them with that sharp steel hook?

After years of experiences like yours elbows I finally have a dentist that’s amazing. Actually it’s a whole practice of them. I’ve never had the same dentist or hygenist twice in a row but they keep amazing records and they’re very careful with me. I get gas and I get freezing even for my quarterly cleanings.

I had the right side cleaned this morning and right now I am so frozen that my right eyeball feels numb. After she was done doing the freezing she mentioned to the hygenist that my chart noted misplaced nerves on the right side and while she thought she’d covered it (and she really really did) she would be in room x if there were any issues.

I have terrible awful fragile teeth and without a ton of care both at home and at the dentist office I would lose them all but this is the first time ever that I haven’t had to reschedule every cleaning appointment due to anxiety attacks.

I got lucky with these guys, my husband found them because they were close to his office and was so impressed he convinced me to try. They do advertise sleep dentistry however so that might be the source of their compassion and care - lots of nervous patients.

The poking wasn’t the problem, it was the bouncing the tools off my teeth, juggling them, then flinging shrimp on my plate. Lesson: never go to a dental practice named Benny.

But holy shit, if I ended up bleeding/spitting blood I would have freaked out, jumped on the ceiling and done an exorcist-walk straight out.

You raise your index finger. The dentist sees this and stops.

If you bite, you won’t be their patient for long.

Nor will you be hungry.

Depending on the quality of your dentist, you may wish to use a different finger.

Well, I’m back.

It was a disaster. First they couldn’t figure which teeth, between two students, I had to show them, on the xray. One of them kept saying no it’s this one, pointing to the one beside the clearly shattered one. Their info was illegible, my slip, clearly listed the two teeth, but not theirs, WTF?

Then, it turns, out they don’t do full sedation, at all. The earlier student, who sent me to this section, told me they would do so. I waited two weeks, losing weight because I can hardly eat anything, and having the inside of my mouth and tongue shredded. When they said I should make an appointment with that section, which could take a few more weeks, I burst into tears, completely unable to understand why or even how, they can do this to people. I just got up and left. There was no way I was going to let them have a go with techniques and drugs that have so often failed me in the past. I just can’t do that any more.

Went out into the hall and wept for about 5 mins, totally losing it. My husband (easily embarrassed, and mortified by my appearance), basically said, “Fuck this, make an appointment at the sedation dentist, we’ll find a way to pay for it somehow.” But, by then I was somewhat inconsolable. Wept all the way home, and for another 30mins curled up on the bed with my dog, who’s truly confused, I’m sure.

So, yeah, no relief, complete disaster, lots of tears and embarrassment. Not my best morning.

Thanks for the good vibes and best wishes anyway.

I’m so sorry it went like that. You have nothing to be embarrassed about - they knew you are a traumatized patient, and they totally fucked up your appointment anyway. Sedation is awfully expensive, but I agree with your husband - it has to be that way.

I liked my old dentist, but the poor fella had a stroke last year and had to sell his practice. I called to confirm the appointment I had and some other dental office answered the phone to inform me I’d been sold out to this new guy. And did I want to make an appointment? (So they didn’t honor the appointment I already had. This was a good thing, as it turned out.) So I asked the mumbler on the phone, “Do you accept Delta Dental insurance?” Yes, she said, We do. Great. I booked an appointment.

A month later, I get in there and before they’ll even take me back, they collect $65 from me. What happened to the $30 co-pay? I inquire. Rather than answering the question, the little twit just itemized what all they were charging me for. I still didn’t quite grok what was going on until after the x-rays and I get to the actual exam with the dentist. He informs me that I have six new cavities and such terrible peridontal disease, that I require a full mouth deep clean. They want to do that deep clean all at once. (When I’ve had it done before, they usually split that up into two or four appointments.) Then they present me with a bill for around $1500 for the deep clean plus fillings. First, I asked if my old dentist was such a shitty dentist that I’d been seeing him every 4-6 months for several years and, what, he just never noticed all these cavities? No answer to that except, “You NEED this work, now pay up.” A. I’m not convinced that I need jacksquat, thankyouverymuch, and B. Why didn’t you all run this through my insurance first so I how much I actually have to pay out of pocket?

That’s when I finally figured out what they did. Twit says, “Well, we don’t run through your insurance. We collect 100% up front, cash, from you, and then if you want, we will file a claim for you.”

“I thought you said you accepted Delta Dental when I called to make this appointment?”

:: deer in headlights ::

I got up and walked out. The hygenist followed me, begging me to let her clean my teeth. I told her it made no damn sense whatsoever to pay full price to let her do it, knowing full well that my insurance will not reimburse me 100% for using an out-of-network dentist. I question again, why didn’t the mumbling twit on the phone TELL me when I specifically ASKED, that they don’t accept my insurance? I assured her that I was going straight home to get on Delta Dental’s website and find a network dentist who actually DOES accept the insurance. Why pay her $1500 when I could get the whole thing done for a $30 copayment? They just stared at me, wide-eyed, as if nobody has ever asserted their patient rights, been misled, fired their dentist, or actually had dental insurance that covers simple shit like cleanings and fillings.

So not only did I just fire my dentist, but I also wrote a scathing review on Angie’s List about answering potential patients’ questions honestly in the first place. I never would have made the appointment if they’d told me up front. But the Mumbling Twit apparently thinks “filing a claim on your behalf” is the same thing as “we accept payment directly from the insurer.” It is not. It was classic bait-and-switch: tell me what they think I want to hear to get me in the door and collect my $65 and then act like there is no such thing as dental insurance and I’d have to pay 100% anywhere I go. They are lying liars and they can suck me.

Personal Responsibility: I have to admit, it is 100% completely and totally on me that I did not get on Delta Dental’s website to confirm this dentist was in-network before I showed up for my appointment. That is my fault and a mistake I won’t make again. Still no excuse for lying to me just to get my $65.

Having read the update: I’m so sorry** elbows**. I would have done the same thing, curled into a ball and cried. Consider yourself hugged. I hope this situation is resolved for you soon.

You have nothing to be embarassed about. I have walked out of a dentists office when they failed to provide what they had agreed for my anxiety and which I had specially scheduled (nitrous).

What was funny is the receptionist tried to convince me to go forward until a nurse who had seen me previously walked by and recognized me. She was like “no no no no, there is no way she can do it with just novocaine. We HAVE to reschedule, who gave the nitrous machine to another patient!?”

Amusingly, on the same day my horse was scheduled to see the equine dentist. The vet, who was supposed to sedate her, didn’t show. She ALSO said “oh hell no” to the idea of unsedated dentistry (reportedly, tried to jump out of her stall by going over the 10ft door, scared the hell out of everyone.)

No, that’s not your fault. They lied to you, it’s totally their fault. You SHOULD be able to trust a professional in an office when s/he says “Yes, we do <whatever it is>.”

You might have dodged a bullet here. If they are this incompetent, then no matter how much less they charge, they are not giving you a bargain if they work on you. If they’d actually worked on you, then they might have introduced new problems, and frankly, I think that you have more than enough going on as it is.

elbows, I totally feel for you. Not only have I had some bad dental experiences (especially as a child; the family dentist was a sadist), but my dad is totally dentist phobic, and because of it, his dental health may actually shorten his life.

May I make a suggestion?

Find your pushiest, most assertive, balls-to-the-walls, “do what I say or you will regret it in this life and the next” friend or relative. Bribe them with whatever it takes, and have them come along with you. Make it their mission in life to represent you, defend you, and demand that you get the care you need. Work out some signals beforehand, and if they decide it’s time to walk out, follow their lead.

Sometimes, it’s easier to let someone else speak up for you, especially if you’ve been intimidated. Sometimes, dentists and other health care professionals just Don’t Get It when they hear it from the patient, but they’ll get it or at least do what they’re told if a fire-breathing friend is standing nearby. Sometimes, just the presence of a witness causes them to change their behavior completely.

You deserve competent dental care. It’s a pity the dentists you’ve seen are unable or unwilling to give it to you. You’re going to have to enlist the help of others to get what you need.

Aww, elbows. :frowning:

I will say that I don’t think it was a disaster, because you stood up for yourself and refused to accept shitty treatment. Maybe your appointment will even get it through their thick skulls that hurrdurr, maybe patients are actually serious when they speak up!!! :B :B :B

I would recommend my dentist in a heartbeat. I’ve been going to him since I was ~5 and my mom has gotten over her fear of dentists because of him*. His standard treatment is numbing agents, but he has nitrous (and sedation, I believe) for those who need it. Over the years I’ve developed more anxiety over *caines (no logical reason; they completely numb my teeth nerves and I’ve never had a problem with them or had them suddenly stop working) because I’m afraid that everything will be going great and then BLAM, it’ll instantly wear off mid-work.

He doesn’t treat me like I’m being stupid. Before starting, he’ll check to make sure I’m numbed; if I feel anything other than slight pressure, he waits or injects a bit more. And though he knows it won’t suddenly stop working, he makes sure to ask me how I’m doing throughout the procedure and reminds me to let him know the second I feel anything so he can stop and re-numb before continuing (which he’s never had to do).

If your location field is accurate, you’re about 2 hours from him/~200km by way of the 402 & Bluewater Bridge or the 401 and the Ambassador Bridge. His office manager, Anne, has worked for him for decades and I’m sure that she’d be able to see how billing/expenses for a Canadian patient would work. I can PM or email you with their contact info, if you’re interested. Seriously. My husband switched to my dentist after we got married and he loves him.

Plus, there are little flatscreens with cable at each chair and you get a remote! :wink:

  • when she was a kid in the 60s, her dentist was an old school sadist who literally refused to even USE novacaine. He also used larger-than-necessary drills, which are more painful. Kids who cried were screamed at to shut the hell up and stop being whiny brats. :frowning: