Hi everyone, longtime lurker here.
Ok, today I started developing a bad toothache. I run into my dad’s uncle, and mention it to him. He says he has a dentists appointment in the late afternoon, would I like him to call his dentist and see if she’ll take me? As my tooth is aching badly and sensitive to cold liquids, I say yes. So he picks me up and we go to the dentists office. I get into the chair and say (jokingly) “ok, gas me and yank it”. The dentist starts saying “no, we don’t do that here, we need to get an anesthesiologist for that”. She’s poking about in my mouth for a few minutes with a mirror, then says we’ll do an x-ray and see if it needs a filling or extraction, but anesthesia is expensive and in any case not available today. I try to explain that I was sort of joking, but I have had a horrible experience with a tooth extraction before. But my mouth is open, her little mirror and some of her fingers are in there and all that comes out is “uuuugh”.
Couple minutes later the assistant comes in, takes an xray, and leaves. A few more minutes go by and the dentist comes back in with my dad’s uncle. She’s explaining to him how there’s some decay in a tooth on the upper left side. He starts telling me “why do you want anesthesia for a filling? Do you know how much that costs?” etc etc. The dentist is chiming in at opportune moments with things like “several hundred dollars” and “we wouldn’t be able to do this today anyway” etc.
Ok, so then she’s got her little mirror in my mouth again and is showing my dad’s uncle the decay in my tooth. Or trying to anyway, she can’t seem to get the mirror/my head to line up right. I become aware that she has a finger hooked into the opposite side of my mouth from the aching tooth and is tugging on it, somewhat gently at first, then more forcefully. Their heads are both moving about as they attempt to peer into the mirror, and she’s yanking on the side of my mouth like I’m a prize bass and she’s trying to reel me in. She did this about 6-7 times total. Finally Uncle Larry either sees it or gives up, and leaves the room.
I’m staring at a sign on the wall which encourages people to ask questions, on the grounds that if the patient understands what’s going on, they’ll be less anxious. It also says “If you want the dentist to stop, raise your hand”, and a couple other things I don’t recall off the top of my head.
Enter the dental assistant with a cotton swab and a couple of those stress relief squeezy things. They’re blue and shaped like brains (why do doctors and dentists get all the cool toys?) I grab a squeezy thing in each hand. They’re preparing me for my novacain(sp?) shot. The assistant explains what’s going on with the cotton swab “we’re going to numb you for your shot”. Swab goes in. Swab is moving around. It winds up right on a spot on my gum, and it hurts like hell. “That hurts” I say. The assistant says it will be numb in a minute. 'Bout 10 seconds go by. The spot the swab’s resting on is starting to hurt really bad now, a deep burning unbearable pain. “Aaaaaaagggghhhhhh” I say. Assistant tells me again not to worry, the nerve is probably sensitive to cold. “Take it out” I say. They tell me not to worry. “Take it out!” I yell, twice more. They ignore me.
The dentist is putting something near my mouth. I can’t see what it is. “What are you doing?” I ask. The dentist tells me I need to calm down and relax. “Squeeze the stress relievers” she tells me.
“Ok, I want to know what you’re doing right now” I say. I’m trying to turn my head to see what she’s got in her hand. The dentist is pretty pissed. She grabs my upper lip and is attempting to tug my head back into position. Feels like she’s trying to rip my lips off. I jerk my head away from her. She reaches for my lip again. “Get the hell away from me” I say. I tell her “damn, you’re a bit heavy handed there”. Dentist gets really pissed and starts saying something about “in the morning”, I’m guessing something to the effect that she doesn’t want to put up with this right now. I didn’t catch everything she was saying, I was having a panic attack. I get out of the chair, rip the bib off, grab my coat and walk out.
Assistant is sitting at the front desk. I’m struggling with my coat. Assistant says “sorry”. I just say “unbelievable” and exit. I go into the waiting area and tell my dad’s uncle “we’re leaving”. He says he has to talk to the dentist. Ok, I tell him, I’ll catch a bus home. “No, just wait, I’ll be done in a minute” he says. So about 10 minutes later I hear him in the front desk area. I go up, open the partition, and ask him if he’s done. He says yes, just wait outside. I ask the assistant “How long has she been a dentist?”. Uncle’s trying to shush me. I start yelling “I have never EVER been treated like this by any dentist I’ve gone to. I thought she was going to rip my lip off.” Assistand is keeping mum, not looking at me. Dentist is in the back, presumably hiding.
Uncle asshat comes out and we get in the car. I’m trying to explain to him what happened. He’s telling me I’m going to have to find another dentist and starts telling “I hope you have a couple hundred dollars for anesthesia. I know you don’t have any insurance”. I tell him to shut up about the GD anesthesia, it does not have the least significance whatsoever. Then he starts telling me “They have to move your mouth to do dental work and sometimes it hurts a bit”, in the tone you would use with a 5 year old child. He calls me a baby. Now this is my grandmother’s brother, and I was raised to be polite to my elders, but at this point I pretty much lost it. I start screaming at him (using the F-word) and tell him that I’m going to file a complaint. “Oh, no you’re not” he tells me, in the same way you address a pre-schooler. He tells me he’s known this woman for 25-30 years. I tell him to stop the car, I’m not listening to his BS. He refuses to stop. I open the car door (we’re doing about 45) and tell him that if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to jump out. He stops and I get out and walk home.
Ok, the dentist didn’t do any actual dental work. The only thing they did was an x-ray and a cotton swab numbing to prep me for the novocain shot. So I’m not considering a lawsuit or anything, but I would like very much to file a complaint against this woman. Ok I understand that I talk to much and ask too many questions and am therefore kind of a pain in the ass as a patient, especially for something they probably see as a routine filling. But, I absolutely hate dentists, I’ve had some bad dental experiences, and am a baby about my teeth. I can and have cheerfully watched someone slice my finger open (a doc at the E.R.), and have gone through all manner of pain and sucked it up. But dentists, bruuugh (shudders).
I am upset because
- she hooked her finger in my mouth and was repeatedly and forcefully tugging on the corner of my mouth in order to get me to move my head. There’s no doubt whatsoever that’s what she was doing.
- dentist and assistant ignored my repeated requests to stop when I was experiencing extreme pain and discomfort from the cotton swab. There is a sign right on the freaking wall that says “if you want the dentist to stop, raise your hand”. I was told to put my hands down, close my eyes, and squeeze the stress relievers.
- dentist was grabbing my upper lip and yanking my head around. Again, this was not an attempt to open my mouth wider or facilitate the dental work in any way, it was an attempt to either make me stop moving my head, or to reposition my head so they could put one of those suction sticks in my mouth.
Every other dentist I’ve been to, when they want to move your head they either tell you, or put their hand(s) on your head and gently move it into the desired position. I have never, ever been yanked around like this, and think it is extremely unprofessional and unecessary. I’ve been to some dentists that were a little heavy handed, but nothing even close to this. There is no way on god’s green earth I would ever let this woman perform any kind of dental or medical surgery on me after this episode. Since she’s obviously been a dentist for a long time, I doubt if this happens very often, or she’d have lost her license a long time ago. I have no idea what was behind it, and I don’t care. I don’t think I was an asshole, just very very nervous and a little scared. I don’t think I did anything to deserve being treated like that, and I resent being yanked around like a prize bass (or whatever those fish are that you get trophies for).
So, should I file a complaint? Anyone have any ideas who I file with or what the process is? I am not interested in getting any money out of this (again, she didn’t actually get to the filling part). My reasoning right now if that if she’s never had anything like this happen before, then one complaint won’t do much. But if she’s been abusive or unprofessional with other patients, then there might be other complaints, and maybe they will take some type of action against her.