Personally, I’m pretty easy-going in terms of cars; I primarily want something mechanically reliable with good gas mileage, and that won’t tear my legs off in a crash. After that, an air conditioner and some kind of sound system.
But that’s not to say I don’t have any fanciful ideas I’d love to have on a car, even just for looks. I mean, I still love the IAD Alien more than a Volvo. So I figured I’d come up with a list of what I’d want on my ideal car.
One of those Heads Up Display speedometers that projects onto the windshield. Those always looked great.
Tailfins. Big 50s, Gary Larson, Cadillac tailfins. Screw modern minimalist styling, or even trendy stupid styling. I’m just going to go whole hog, because I’m still bitter about not having that jetpack. Just make 'em small enough that I can still see out the back windows.
So…anyone else have anything they’d put on their dream ride?
I’ve always thought it would be a good idea to be able to “rotate” the driver’s seat with the passenger’s seat, so they’d wear evenly. Some kind of clamp thingy that would easily let you rotate them at the same time as your tires.
It needs to be like the Tardis - small and sporty on the outside like a Lotus Exige but big on the inside so I can get my 6’5" self into it and drive comfortably.
My dream car would indeed be able to drive itself, so I could go to sleep in the back. So I’d like a cosy bed in the back, with reading lights. And a stabilizer so I could read in the car without getting car sick.
So can the Ford Escape and a lot of other Ford/Lincoln vehicles.
My dream car? I pretty much have it already. It’s a shame I’ll have to turn it in when this job’s over and I have to go home.
What I’d want in any car:
[ul]
[li]air conditioned seats (seriously, there are great).[/li][li]analogue gauges, even if it’s a high-resolution digital display, I still want to see analogue representations.[/li][li]Sync[/li][li]keypad on the door.[/li][li]built-in garage door opener.[/li][/ul]
I guess I’m kind of easy. I didn’t mention obvious things like comfortable and good performance, because I just figure that those are givens.
I’d like a scrolling LED display that goes across my back window where I could display a message to the jackass behind me who has his high beams on. Such as “hey jackass, your high beams are on”.
I want a Tesla roadster’s electric engine attached to a Hummer 4 wheel drive train, and a modified c-class RV for the body. And let’s put a solar panel on top, to increase the range.
So, I can go anywhere, anytime, regardless of the weather conditions, and if I feel like peeing, or sleeping or showering, or just roasting a turkey on the way - I can do that.
ETA: And a sunroof, please.
EATA: and a CD jukebox that can hold at least 100, so I don’t have to rummage around for them when I’m listening to a book.
That doesn’t seem too impressive - you still have to do most of the work, and fiddle around with a touch screen! Surely you could just park it yourself in half the time?
I would like a HUD that you can program with the speed limit; perhaps, the HUD goes red if you are going 51 km/h. The god damned politicians are talking about putting speeding-on-green cameras on the intersections, and it would be nice to be able to drive without staring at spedo all the time. Also I would like to be able to set the cruse control for 30 km/h for school zones. I’m not sure if I would trust radar guided cruise control.
Why can my car tell me when one of my doors is ajar, and often more specifically which door is ajar, but cannot tell me when one of my lights is burnt out?
Homer: All right, listen up! We are going to design a car! First things first, cup holders! Do any of you drink the Big One coffee from Kwik-E-Mart?
Engineer #1: I do.
Homer: OK, so you see how most cup holders are teeny! They should be this big! Next, antenna balls! How many of you had problems finding your car?
Engineer #2: I have.
Homer: So you know what I mean. Those should be on every car! Next up, horns. I want a horn here, here, and here! You can never find a good horn when you are mad! And they should all play “La Cucaracha”! Moving on, how about when you are on a long trip and the kids will not shut up?
Engineer #3: How about a built in video game?
Homer: You are fired!
Engineer #4: A bubble dome that will isolate the kids?
Homer: Bullseye!
I’ve often thought that the time might be right for something like a smaller, updated version of an el Camino. Something with a usable, exterior cargo bed but with a carlike ride, no 4WD/sport-ute pretenses and much greater efficiency and nimbleness for urban light hauling.
David Letterman’s Top 10 Least Popular New Car Options - February 22, 1991
10. Rear window fogger.
9. Pre-filled ashtrays.
8. Passenger airbag in trunk.
7. Drifter in the backseat who says, “Your door is open.”
6. Hydraulic roadkill scoop.
5. 35 smelly Ringling Brothers clowns.
4. Ceiling fans.
3. Electronic scanner that reads the mind of Roddy McDowell.
2. Oprahometer.
