February Bitching- Please Start here

The BBQ Pit
381

I would like to pit my best friends mother.

Her husband travels a lot for work and only in the winter so she frequently goes several weeks in a row without seeing him and every year since this has started he’s been away for both her birthday and Valentines day and prior to that it was always a big deal to them. This year her MIL gave her a plane ticket so she could fly to Barcelona and spend a few days with him during a 4 day break between events. Not long enough to fly home to Canada but definitely a nice break together if she’s doing the flying. They’ve been working out the details for weeks and this morning her mother called her. She’s too sad to watch the kids, she doesn’t want them to see her like this, her marriage is breaking up and my friend should cancel her trip and look after her.

Sadly for bitchface mom I’m looking after the kids and my friend is boarding her plane any minute.

Now wait you might say, if her marriage is breaking up doesn’t she deserve some sympathy and assistance from her children? Well that might be true except every event in her life is designed to screw up someone elses plans (preferrably at the last minute) and place her in the centre of attention. Her marriage has been breaking up since days after they said their vows, as soon as she realized that he was not as likely to pander to her whims as her first husband. It’s been 8 years now and it will likely keep breaking up as long as they can both milk it for the drama they need to survive.

I expect now that she knows a gasp non family member is looking after her precious grandchildren she will stage a miraculous recovery and show up sometime tomorrow expecting me to pack up and leave.

Lucky for her I love my friend enough to not tell her exactly what I think of her. (so I’ll tell you instead) Selfish bitch, recognize that most children would not continue to put up with your little dramas and be glad that all three of your kids are somehow amazing stable members of society. Actually thank your late husband for that, if it wasn’t for him I don’t know that any of the kids would have survived to adulthood.

382

So, how is what you did here any different that what is going on in those thread? :dubious:

383

For one thing, I enjoyed reading it.

384

Oh fuck off Sheryl Sanberg. If I had your goddamned money I’m sure I could find the time to do the things you think I should be doing. But I don’t so fuck you. If you really want to help women, fix the fucking tax code and workplace so all people of genders can make decent money instead of being screwed over by selfish executives like yourself.

Article about the asshole’s belief that women are to blame for not doing enough to suit her majesty’s desires:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/22/us/sheryl-sandberg-lean-in-author-hopes-to-spur-movement.html

:rolleyes:

385

FUCK YOU, Game company!

Back in December, I was hired on by someone who’d done a kickstarter for an RPG. They’d done this before, and were a name in the gaming industry, and were working with another ‘name’ in the industry.
I was hired to write content, and a set payment-per-word was agreed upon (and it was a pretty decent one). I should’ve seen the ‘disorganized’ sign when the deadlines kept getting moved (New years, then January 31, then Feb 14…). But I got the project finished and sent the invoice for my services.
A week passed. I nudged them again. I got told from name ‘B’ that name ‘A’ was the person to talk to, and I did so. Name ‘A’ said he’d get me the money, but added jokingly that he ‘had to figure out where the money was’, then quickly reassured me that I wouldn’t get screwed.
Today I nudged again, and was told by person ‘A’ that he’s having a huge financial problem at the moment, so he has no idea when he’ll be able to get me my money.
To muddy the waters further, person ‘A’ has been a friend of mine in the past, so he’s now looking to me for sympathy for his plight. I’m generally a sympathetic guy, so I’m not about to deny him that… But really. I pay my bills with this money. All of my invoice is already budgeted for on my end. The total he owes me is approximately 3% of the money they raised on Kickstarter.
I’m so fucking angry right now I could scream. The guy lives half a nation away from me, so it’s not like I can even go over and talk to him face-to-face about it. I don’t want to have to wrangle legality into this. I just want my goddam money! FUCK!

386

Small whine:

I had to have my old horse put down last night. Sucks, but she was old and in pain and it needed to be done. Backhoe guy said he’d be here a little after two, but it’s now almost 5 and he’s not here yet. I need her buried before I can get anything useful done - I’ve been roaming the house unable to concentrate all day.

This sucks.

387

Have you read either of those threads? Some good stuff in there!

ETA: :frowning: saje

388

I got into my first car accident today. :frowning: It was sleeting and snowing, got slushy fast, and the conditions on the highway were worse than I anticipated. I was going too fast (the speed limit, 55, but I should have been going under it). I tried to change lanes… lost control when both my tires his parallel tracks of slush, spun out, and hit the wall twice with front and rear. Miraculously, the car is quite driveable. All I can see that’s damaged is the front bumper (and my license plate came off). I am in some pain, might get checked out, but nothing too severe. The trooper who came to help said they were dealing with 30 similar accidents already within the first half hour of the storm (I saw two others during the ~40 minutes while I was stopped).

I’m just upset with *myself *for driving like an overconfident durp, and SO thankful that no other cars were involved in my accident. Not looking forward to driving home tonight and reporting this to my insurance company. :(:frowning: But of course, realize how incredibly lucky I am to have walked and drove away from it.

389

Hugs and sympathy saje. That’s a hard thing that doesn’t need to be made harder.

Hugs for Rachellelogram, too. Hope the pain eases.

390

Well it’s done, but holy shit you should see my yard. Dually + giant flatbed + track hoe + rain + clay slope w/ scant grass cover = :frowning: :frowning:

I fucking want OUT of here, and I can’t wait to move.

391

Well, there you have the root of the problem. I hereby pit MissTake’s kidneys.

(I’m used to having people rely on me, too, so when I need someone’s help it’s a bitch to figure out how to ask for it, then a bitch to get it actually done - some of my relatives think that “please hold this” means “please take over the cooking”, some will go into a dialectic about “wait, what do you mean ‘hold this’? For how long? Should I keep holding it or put it down someplace?” And at least the second type cut it out at a sisterly glare :p)

392

I pit my sister (who fortunately doesn’t surf the internet and will never see this)

We’re currently co-nursing our brother who is doing hospice at home. So we’re all living together in his house for the duration (she normally lives 6 hours away from him, I’m 18 hours away) He’s on day 12 of quitting dialysis.

From everything I’ve heard and read, and this includes both Dr. Google and Dr. IRL, a body which is in the process of dying starts to shut down. The appetite diminishes, the digestive system slows etc. Shoveling food down the patient’s throat is, in other words, counterproductive. Just to add to the fun, he also has a case of C diff so everything he ingests comes out altogether too quickly and usually at 3am. Sister is of the “food is love” school of thought and keeps offering him and tempting him with various concoctions. She’s currently in the kitchen warming up some apple turnovers. So she shoves food down his throat and I shove meds and imodium and then wipe his ass at 3am while she sleeps ('cause she’s exhausted from cooking and feeding all day).

She also thinks he’s going to keep on living forever. He, unlike any other human on earth, does not need kidney’s to live apparently… according to her. And in order to live he needs to eat, of course. :smack:

Chapter two: She is not a fan of drugs. She thinks he takes too many and they’re making him sleepy. (He’s dying. He sleeps 20 hours out of 24. He’s been sleeping 18 hours out of 24 for the past year or more. He wants to sleep. He wants to not ever wake up. He chose to stop dialysis so that he could go to sleep and die.)
He’s a methadone addict of many years. He also has drugs available to alleviate side symptoms like pain and itching. They make him sleepy. So every fucking time I ask him if he’d like anything or if he’s in any discomfort, or when I say it’s time he took his methadone (withdrawal is not something he needs to deal with) she starts a tirade on the evils of medications.

There’s a lovely bottle of Valium upstairs. I may have to give it a try.

393

For you or for her? :smiley:

Seriously, I wish I could do more than offer sympathy.

394

The hard drive on my fucking lap top is wiped. Great. I’ll probably have to buy another laptop. That makes two in less than eighteen months. Why can’t they make a durable laptop that lasts for at least five years five hundred bucks? I have two desktops that are over five years old and they still work just fine.

Fuck.

395

I’ve seriously considered both. :stuck_out_tongue:

396

For you, for her, or for him?

397

Prescribed to him, and he’s taken them when sister isn’t looking. So for me, unless I can slip them into her tea at which point neither he nor I will need them. :smiley:

398

I talked to my mom’s doc today. She’s in the end stages of liver disease and needs a liver transplant. Shit.

399

I don’t know whether it helps, overlyverbose, but my cousin went on the transplant list in June, got her shiny new liver around Halloween, and as of the end of last month, is down to only three medications and doing great - better than she’s been in years. I hope your mom has similarly good results.

And slumtrimpet, go for the Valium. Easier and less taxing than having to conceal a body - always awkward to have a spare one of those at the home of a hospice patient, no? I’m sorry you’re facing this, but it sounds like your brother has made the decision he needs for himself, and that you’ve accepted it. It’s a pity that your sister can’t make her own peace with the situation…

My own very very minor bitching: I’m tired. I wish my husband were healing faster, for his own sake, but I’m so, so tired of trying to take care of every little thing. I started to answer Skald’s question about division of household labor among married folks, and… short answer? I do everything right now. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, pet care, repairs, maintenace, yard work, finances. I also dole out meds several times per day. I help and supervise when he gets a shower. I help him sort out which medicine is making him dizzy, which is causing constipation, how to deal with that. I fight with the idiotic insurance company, and the wheelchair transport service. I try to keep him entertained, pointing out TV shows he’d like, sharing news stories he’d find interesting, inviting friends over (and the concomitant cleaning and hosting) to help alleviate the boredom of being stuck in this stupid house. I’m just so, so tired that I could cry, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to take care of everyone, and I always seem to put myself last on the list of people to take care of.

I’ve already told Tony that, when he gets a bit more mobile and self-sufficient, I’m taking a day off. I’ll leave him with all 4 kids and 3 dogs*, and get the hell out of Dodge. I really, really need it…

*Dog. Did I mention the new dog? Pandora’s daddy got a divorce, and had to take on an extra job, and she was suffering from lack of attention. Knowing that we had experience with big dogs, Pandora’s daddy asked whether we could take her. Ever since we had to have our Pyrenees put down last summer, Lily (age almost 3) has been asking about him… for 8 months - an eternity in the life of such a young kid. So? We have a new dog. 3/4 Pyrenees, 1/4 St. Bernard, age 1. She’s an absolute love, and I’m glad we have her, and the girls absolutely adore her, and she seems really really happy here, but? Yeah. Giant, drooling, shedding, untrained, still-growing puppy. Woo.

400

Oh dear God in heaven and all his little angel folk. On the strength of “I vaguely knew your name in high school, so we’re now Facebook friends,” I’ve just been subjected to a lovely, lovely confessional chat. Y’all, I don’t know why people confide in me, but I’d like to know why, because I really want it to stop. Now. There are some things I shouldn’t know about anyone who isn’t me.