February makes us shiver with each new rant it delivers

I have a migraine. :frowning:

So why are you on the computer? :stuck_out_tongue:

migraines can be terminated with imitrex, LSD, or copiuos amounts of 190-proof alcohol (lit on fire immediately before consumption for more dramatic effect). a good solid injection of diacetylmorphine is also sufficient to remedy a migraine.

I used to use frova until my heart went wonky, now I use a benzo based med - hysterectomy kicked out most of my migraines [at least the hormone driven ones] leaving stress and random ones [maybe one a month down from one a week or more. I swear I thought my head was exploding the time I had a 4 day one that put me in the hospital.:(] I was considering botox at one point in time.

Todays rant - I cooked turkey breast tonight, and for some damned reason it came out dry and stringy. My usual brand, cooked the usual way. Bugger:mad:

Bet you could dice it up, add mayo/etc and have fantastic turkey salad.

I hope you feel better soon, StarvingButStrong. And thanks for coming up with a good thread name.

This is extremely minor: I was going to buy Arlo Guthrie tickets this weekend. They’re around $50. Yesterday I got a $730 bill from the Medical Conglomerate for the physical therapy I had in December.

At least I’ll be able to afford the $35 Weird Al tickets for his show in July. But I’ve already seen Weird Al and I’ve never seen Arlo and how many more tours is he going to do? :frowning:

A bullet to the head also works.

Supermarket rants:

I check out the seedless green grapes in the produce section, and they’re selling them by the pound, but only in bags holding enough grapes for a Mormon-sized family. There is a sign warning shoppers not to break up the clusters to create smaller bags “for the protection of our customers” (who apparently are full of Ebola and other super germs). We are supposed to have a supermarket employee (who is presumably germ-free) separate grapes for us, but there are none in sight. So I go without the grapes which didn’t look so good anyway.*

Then on the checkout line I see a shopper at the register waving a fistful of coupons at the confused-looking clerk, so in anticipation of long delays I switch to another line, only to find the person in front of me has a bunch of coupons too, one of which requires the cashier to go on a field trip in search of the free mini-bottle of water that the customer has just got to have right now.

Next time an extreme couponer pulls this shit in front of me, there will be Blood.

*I think there was an Aesop’s fable about this exact situation.

Yeah, tickets for well-known artists in any music genre tend to be expensive. :frowning:

Funny: that’s the same thread title I had in mind, you fucking thread title thief.

and oh yes, there will be blood. /jigsaw

To you douchefucknozzles in Walmart today: shorts and a t-shirt on your toddler/kindergartener is not appropriate outside apparel when the wind chill factor is below zero (Fahrenheit). Put some damn clothes on your kid! That is all.

Try to see Arlo, I’ve seen him twice and he’s great!

Not going back into debt is also great and a little more important at this point.

Who came up with that damn Nationwide commercial? Biggest downer ever. Fire every single person who vetted it. That was NOT the way to go.

I use my cellphone as my alarm clock (plus my mother is seriously ill, so I don’t want to miss THAT call). It’s a Samsung Galaxy S5 that has a blinking blue light when alerts come through, so the last thing I do before bed is to clear all alerts so that light goes off.

I might wake up briefly in the middle of the night and be bothered by the blinking light. Invariably it’s a new email from my cable or cell phone provider touting some new service or say my automatic payment went through. It seems that they are automatically generated to be sent at midnight.

Stop making my blue light blink in the middle of the night!

We have to look at apartments this month and move again. We just moved in August. I’m getting too fucking old for this shit, I really am.

Turn your fucking phone facedown!

I’ve been burying the top of my Note 4 under stuff at night. Works for me.


I can’t find friends who are fucking reliable and think more than three steps into the future. We were having some friends over for Superbowl today, but Snomageddon was predicted. When I got up at 8am and the snow was 6 inches and counting and the plows had been pulled, I knew they were not coming this evening. But they spent all fucking day telling us “Hey, it’s 4:00, right? See ya then!” “Can we bring anything tonight?” “Our kid is so excited to see your kid!” So we clean up the house, put out the spread, bake bread, shovel the 12+ inches of snow off the sidewalks, etc. We never ever let our kid know he’s going to see their kid because they flake out all the time and he’s sad when he doesn’t get to see her, but he found out so he spent all day being excited to see her. Come 4:00 and we get a message and SHOCKER they are going to be late. Because of the snow. Because I guess they didn’t look outside their fucking window all fucking day? OK, fine, we put the cheese back in the fridge and tell the little one his friend will be late. At 5:00 they finally let us know they are not coming. FUCK.

I’m not pissed that they didn’t come. It would have been batshit fucking insane for them to come. I’m pissed they couldn’t think 5 fucking minutes into the future and realize that a little fucking earlier. Maybe before we cooked all that perishable FUCKING food???

Oh, and fuck anti-vaxers. Just fuck those guys.

get the tickets for Arlo - , the Medical Conglomerate can wait a month for $15.