*An Indian couple, Anurup and Sagarika Bhattacharya from Kolkata living in Norway is facing the worst part of their lives after their children – a three-year-old son and one-year-old daughter – were taken away from them by Norway’s child protective services and placed in foster care eight months ago.
It comes as a shocker to the couple when they were told that their children were not brought up properly because they fed their children with hands and slept with their parents in the same bed.
My son was sleeping with my husband. They said he should sleep separately from your son,” said Mrs. Bhattacharya.
“Feeding a child with the hand is normal in Indian tradition and when the mother is feeding with a spoon there could be phases when she was overfeeding the child. They said it was force-feeding. These are basically cultural differences,” said Mr. Bhattacharya.*
This might well be a case of cultural differences, but typically, in Finland, in these kinds of cases, the the governement agencies are mandated to shut up, while the parents are free to spew whatever they want to the press. I wonder if it’s the same in Norway.
In most cases the child protective services react to slowly or not at all, not too quickly and over-zealously. And just as in Finland, they’re bound by professional secrecy for the protection of the people involved, while the parents are not and can tell the press whichever version they want to promote.
In fairness, the authorities also err on the other side occasionally, and there’s just not enough information to say whether this is the case here.
My mother was German, you’d be shocked at all the little cultural things that caused trouble with in the USA. She saw nothing wrong with sleeping in the same bed with your kids, as she said they leave on their own around 8-10 years of age Me and my sis ended up with the same attitude, what the hell is wrong with sleeping with your kids?! I am very disturbed by people who see it as perverse or something, I mean WHAT?!
She saw no big deal with me drinking wine or beer as a kid or teen(with meals not getting drunk) which shocked people.
Sleeping in the same bed is considered a safety issue, not a paedophilia issue. There have been a lot of cases (intentional or not is debatable) of parents accidentally (or not) rolling over and smothering children in their sleep.
ETA: I personally don’t think it should be outlawed, but that’s why it’s taboo here, at least initially.
Eh, at least in the states these CPS horror stories almost always end up having more to them then originally reported. The parents go to the media and tell the most innocuous possible version of their behavior, while because children are involved the gov’t is unable to publicly discuss the case and challenge the parents story (note the linked story has no response from Norwegian officials).
After all, if someones kids are taken, its hard to hide from the friends familiy and neighbors. And most people in that situation aren’t going to admit it was a fair decision because they kept little Billy locked up in the basement 23 hrs a day. Instead they’ll come up with some story about how the decision was unfair, and their outraged friends will tell them to march over to the press and reveal the fake injustice to the world.
I don’t have children, but I’ll admit that’s always been my problem with co-sleeping. I know a couple whose marriage was heading toward the rocks because of it - Mom insisted the kid sleep with them (actually the kid pitched a large fit whenever put into her own bed and Mom gave it) and Dad was interested in a little privacy.
There is when you have 1 or more children under the age of 8. Especially nowadays that many families have two working parents. When you and your spouse both had a long day at work, then come home to messes that need to be cleaned, dinner that needs to be cooked and eated, seemingly-endless piles of laundry, and the kids themselves who need to be entertained and kept out of trouble in the meantime, when are you going to cram in daytime nookie?
I remember well the sudden “siestas” that my parents would suddenly mandate for everyone. Kids were told to go and read quietly, but not to disturb because it was siesta time and if you have a quiet siesta you can stay up later in the evening. Fine by us. We used to sleep in our parents’ bed (but not during siesta time, funny that) so it all makes sense now…
We co-slept with all three of our kids when they were babies/toddlers and our sex life was just fine, thank you very much. If you want to have sex in the bed at night, put the kid down in a carrier or blanket or other sleeping location outside the room and go for it, then bring kid in when done. Or have sex – this may be shocking for you to read, so I hope you’re sitting down – elsewhere in the house. You can even do it right on top of the giant piles of laundry if you’re not picky.
It’s also worth noting that there are about fifty squillion articles in english-language and indian websites, and only three pages of google hits in norwegian, most of which are reporting on the giant outbreak of hysteria in india about the case.
From a quick skim, it looks like everything started with expression of concern from the kindergarten, which caused the kid protection people to get involved. There is now some discussion about why they felt it necessary to take the kids into care when there was no acute danger to them, whether they have over-reacted, etc., blah blah blah, the usual.
Much more significant than hand-feeding or sleeping in the same bed are that apparently the child protection people allege:
[ul]
[li]lack of emotional interaction between the parents[/li][li]inadequate diet, kids being fed only rice and yoghurt[/li][li]Mother would have slapped son but was told it was illegal[/li][li]Mother didn’t hold her daughter properly when nursing[/li][li]Kids did not have enough toys[/li][/ul]
Some of those are the sort of thing that over-zealous officials often get over-excited about. Most are big cultural differences. What would be considered acceptable toys, diet and familial affection in Kolkota are very different from what would be considered acceptable in Norway. Anyway, the I’m sure the case will grind through the courts in the usual way that these things do.
Me and my sis ended up with the same attitude, what the hell is wrong with sleeping with your kids?! I am very disturbed by people who see it as perverse or something, I mean WHAT?!