For some reason i feel like there is something missing in my life but cant quite put my finger on it.
I am happily married and have been for a year now, i am not particularly fond of my work but thats not the end of the world. I dont have too many friends, maybe this is it?
But for a good while now i feel like something isnt quite right! Its difficukt to explain, so please excuse me for being vague.
Anyone else ever felt like this? What do i do to combat this? Sit around and wait for ‘something’ to happen? Go looking for ‘it’? What am i looking for?
I don’t think it’s a strange thread - or an unusual feeling. What talents do you have that you’re not using? What do you love to do that you haven’t done in a while? When you were small did you have a dream that you’ve left behind?
Those are the things that tend to cause me to think “what should I be doing, that I’m not”. It ties in with Maslow’s theory of self-actualization. I know there are plenty of other theories that disagree - but this one resonates with me.
I think I know what you mean. Is there something you feel really passionate about, like a cause? Do you have a hobby or pastime or anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment or real satisfaction? For heavens sake, don’t sit around waiting, go out and find it. Talk to people, read a lot; whatever you find that sparks your interest and you want to know more about are good places to start.
You say you don’t have too many friends, but if you find something you really like you’ll find other people who like the same thing.
I don’t know if you buy into the David Daeda stuff (I’m not sure if I do), but he addresses this directly. He would probably say that you’ve lost your purpose, or more likely completed your last one. You need to find your next one, and until you do, you’re going to feel empty. His recommended method is to cut yourself off from everything – EVERYTHING – for a few days, and your new purpose will come to you.
It sounds a little hippie dippy, and I haven’t tried it, but it might be worth thinking about.
Could it possibly be that you (maybe subconsciously) want to have a kid? It wouldn’t be that uncommon, and it’s the conventional “next step” after marriage. Could it be that on some level, you’re feeling that what’s “missing” is a family?
If you don’t have a clear sense of purpose in a couple of major areas in your life, such as your job and hobbies / interests you do purely for your own intellectual/artistic enjoyment, then it seems logical that you might feel a gap.
There is no right answer to what to do other than to set the intention to figure out what you like doing in either area and make changes that enable you to clarify what works and what doesn’t…which is both easier and a lot harder than it sounds…
I’ve heard that taking the focus off yourself and doing some community and/or volunteer work is good for filling the empty space. Go help someone less fortunate than yourself.
Your advice is all very good and logical and i really appreciate it.
I have thought of some of the points you have raised before i made this thread but thet seem to resonate a little more when somebody else tells it to you.
For what it’s worth I believe that you are allowed (encouraged?) to have a blank notebook and a pen with you. But no other books, no TV, no radio, and no people. Apparently it takes 2-3 days.
I’d like to try it myself someday, but it sounds incredibly isolating.
