Fenris 1980-1998-ish, you STUPID jackoff

The BBQ Pit
1

So I’m getting a spiffy DVD burner for my birthday/Hannukah. I can’t wait. I’ve got a new video-capture card. All should be well with the world.

It would be, if it weren’t for that utter moron, me.

For about 15-18 years, I was a compulsive “It looks cool and video tapes are cheap” taper. I’ve got all sorts of great stuff and one of the things I really want to do is archive a bunch of rare, never-to-be-seen-again stuff

So my best friend, the pal who’s always been there for me mentions how he read that there are two versions of the movie Twice Upon A Time (the animated one from the '80s)and he remembers, about 4 or 5 years ago seeing the rare, unexpurgated version with me at my place.

“Gee!” Thinks I. “I remember that! That would make a hell of a ‘Thanks for all the nice things you’ve done for me’ type present”.

No big deal, right? Find the tape, record it from VHS->HDD then in a week or so when the spiffy new DVD player arrives, burn it from HDD->DVD (with appropriate file type conversions, etc)

But…

But that shithead, Fenris 1980-1997ish fucked this plan over and fucked it good.

Oh, he was wonderful about taping stuff. I’ve got about 800 video-tapes 'cause of him.

But he couldn’t be FUCKING BOTHERED TO LABEL THEM!!!

Asshole.

Or almost as bad, rather than take the 10 seconds to grab a label and stick it on, he wrote directly on the tape case (not the box that the tape stores in)…wait for it…in pencil…in code. :rolleyes:

I’ve deciphered some of it. [sup]Land[/sup]erII is “Highlander 2” (No. I don’t rembember why I bothered to record it).
*t(smudge)k3 is “Star Trek 3”.
Dr (international “No” symbol) is “Doctor No”.
lotlep is “Land of the Lost” episodes.
But what’s a 8 hoiur tape with three movies labeled:
R[sup]2[/sup]B/R[sup]2[/sup]U/R[sup]2[/sup]M? Or HvsT&HvsDD?

And did I mention that Fenris 1980-1997ish used pencil? Smudgey pencil? And remember that pencils, smudgey or otherwise write in dark charcoal grey. On a black tape case. :rolleyes: I have to hold them juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust right up to the light to see [ul]
[li]If there’s writing[/li][li]If the writing’s legible[/li][li]What the semi-legible writing says[/li][/ul]

It takes 11 second to label a tape if you know what’s on it (which you do, when you’re recording stuff). 11 seconds times 800 tapes=8800 seconds. Divide that by 60 to get minutes and you end up with 146 minutes. Divide by 60 again, and you end up with 2 hours, 26 minutes.

If you don’t know what’s on it it takes 20-30 minutes to label a tape. Fenris 1980-1997ish (I wised up in 1997ish and reformed) was nortoious for saying “Hmmm…those three movies ran about 90 minutes each, it’s an 8 hour tape, I can still cram something on the end.” or worse, in between movies so each tape will (eventually) need to be searched exhaustively.

Fenris 1980-1997ish, if I had a time machine, I’d go back and give you a swift kick in my coccyx. Moron.

As it stands, I (if I’m lucky) might be able to find my copy of the unexpurgated Twice Upon A Time tape sometime before my pal’s birthday. At the end of March.

:: sigh ::

If we only knew then what we know now.

Fenris

2

I too have noticed that past versions of my self show precious little courtesy or consideration for the me of now.

You can turn this into a positive though.

When your new burner comes, look at all the months of leisure and fun you can have as you select a mystery tape, insert it into the VCr and burn its image into a DVD.

Then you can say “Oh yeah! I remember this!”

Of course, if you do one a day it could be two years or more until you find Twice upon a Time.
BTW if you have a copy of the Star Wars holiday special, would you burn me a copy?

3

I feel for ya. My past self has been really bad about labelling video tapes, and even worse about changing the existing labels on things he’s taped over with other things. My future self plans to get everything labelled (presumably), but keeps making those damn “Round Tuit” excuses… :stuck_out_tongue:

4

Ah.

And I thought this was going to be a generic ‘young men are fools’ thread.

Good thing I discovered it was just YOU, buddy.

  • Jonathan “Always labeled his cassette tapes like the compulsive man he is” Chance

Oh. And me too on the SW Holiday thing.

5

See? That’s exactly how I feel. Imagine the shape I’d be in if me of 15 years ago had started exercising every day. Or putting $20.00 a week aside.

Selfish bastard.

On the other hand, if I consider how superior I am now to how I was then, and project that curve into the future, I’ll be nearly perfect in another 20 years and looking back at me of now with the same kind of sneer that I have on my face towards me of 1980.

That kinda pisses me off.

I’m almost tempted to not label any of these new DVDs I’m going to be burning, just to teach my smug future self a lesson.

Fenris

6

Fenris jacking off?!?

reads the OP

Oh.

sigh

Carry on.

7

But no!

  I lived in this apartment for about 6 months before I discovered it was haunted. The ghost has long hair, gray with white streaks. He has a long scar on his forehead. He doesn't speak English. It took me another 6 months to realize that  he was speaking Yiddish. Unfortunately, he won't appear to anybody else, and I DON"T SPEAK YIDDISH!!!  About the only word I could catch was the occasional shmendrick. Then, one night, the ghost opened up his collar and showed me a birthmark.

My birthmark.

I’m being haunted by my future self. One the one hand, this means that my time travel experiments eventually succeed, OTOH that is a nasty looking scar. The shmuck should KNOW that I only speak English. But NO!!! He could give me stock tips. But NO!!! He could warn me of upcoming disasters. But NO!!!

Lousy undead, future self, bastard.

8

Holyfield vs Tyson perhaps?

R[sup]2[/sup]. Hmm…Rubic Cube?
Rubics Cube: The Beginning.

Rubics Cube: The Unleashed.

Rubics Cube: Monster Jam.
(That’s my guess.)
:smiley:

9

See, my past self wasn’t too bad about labelling stuff.

Problem is that my present self just plain sucks at filing it correctly and remembering where the hell he put it when he got done using it FIVE MINUTES AGO!!

I think I want my past self back …

10

Hulk vs Thor, Hulk vs Daredevil
What’s RR with a B… Rickety Rocket?

11

Smirk.

From the very first I labeled all my tapes. And I created two lists for them, one a seperate tape by tape listing, the other an alphabetical list of all programs I have taped. So both contain the same info, just in different order. I even listed not only what’s on the tape. but the exact place each item starts and ends! So I always know how much time I have left for any space.

And I saved both lists on disk, so that I can go back and change listings, for those times when I tape over something.

Say, why are you all looking at me so ugly? What’s with the ball bats and brass knuckles? Ummmm, I think I’ll just go now(turns and runs for her life.)

12

And stay out, ya meddler!

What is it about the archiver? We tape all kinds of useless junk. We hoard video information like a leprechaun with gold. Nothing ever gets thrown out, if at all possible, and damn near everything we tape, we refuse to tape over.

Even if it’s Highlander 2, fer Pete’s sake.

Once in a while you’ll discover some gem amidst the dross (that flick for your buddy). I, with no foreknowledge whatsoever, taped the finals of the women’s team gymnastics during the 96 Olympics. (That whole Kerri Strug - Rocky Balboa type finish) I was taping that night strictly for Mrs. Skeezix, who had to work through the televised finals. I was a minor celebrity amongst family and friends for a while, as a good bunch of them missed it for whatever reason, and just needed to know what all the hoopla was about.

Then, you’ll run across something like Highlander 2 (I’m happy to say I escaped that trap) or the late 90’s live action Captain America, or Dolph Lundgren’s Punisher. And I can’t bring m’self to chuck 'em or tape over 'em. I just know one day I’m gonna want to show somebody this flick, saying, “You haven’t seen bad, man. Check this out.”

Why do we really keep this crap?

The tapes are taking over several rooms of the house, now. Mrs. Skeezix threatens to throw them out every time she cleans, but, so far, I’ve managed to find some obscure drek that she wants to hang onto, as a counterarguement.

So, I sympathize, Fenris. But at least a majority of our tapes are labeled, and more than half the time, legibly, to boot. Well… except for the family stuff, taped with the camcorder. It’s strictly a case of search and pray, when you want to find a specific birthday party/holiday gathering/road trip.

We’re packrats, I guess. And sloppy about it, to boot.

[sub]And I can never find that Xmas tape of one of my aunts punching the other one out in the kitchen, on Xmas day, in a house full of 7-18 year old grandchildren/cousins. It’s a scream.[/sub]

13

Nope. I hate boxing.

R[sup]2[/sup]. Hmm…Rubic Cube?
Rubics Cube: The Beginning.
**
[/quote]

Wouldn’t that be: R[sup]3[/sup]?

Actually I just checked 'em out E-Sabbath got the HvT/HvDD one.

The other?

Road To Bali/Utopia/Morocco.

I hate me.

(But not as much as I hate Baker) :wink:

14

Ooooh. Road Movies. Lucky, lucky man.
Do you have Road to East Berlin?

15

Label.

Tape.

Why do you put both of these words in the same sentence? That’s flummery. You can’t label a…no I can’t get those words into the same sentence.

Present Fenris, I think you are asking too much! Past Fenris can’t be expected to do the impossible.

Sheesh.

16

I always mean to label my tapes right when I record something. The problem is that the tape is always in the VCR just then. I can’t tell you how many neatly-written labels I have, still attached to the backing, stacked on top of the drawers full of unlabeled tapes. Someday…

17

I’m with TVGuy on this one.

My past self labeled all the videotapes including marking beginnings on the tape. Made lists of all books owned, those borrowed and by whom, all alphabetized of course.

My present self randomly tapes over things without noting it, as for example witness the Danger Mouse tape containing some sort of crappy primetime programming.

My present self also forgets why she came into this room.

My future self hasn’t got a prayer.

Oh, before my brain completely turns to mush, let me say that I loved Twice Upon a Time. I had no idea there were two versions. What was different?

18

dwyr: click on that link in the OP, it has a line-by-line breakdown of the differences: There’s not a whole lot, but a few scenes where chopped and that Synonamess Botch’s dialogue got cleaned up (which is fine), they chopped some of Botch’s dialogue (which isn’t fine: there’s some hysterical stuff in the shower scene which got chopped) and there’s a bit at the end that was cut completely.

Feris

19

Shit, you’re lucky Fenris!

My PRESENT self is still a bastard! I hate him. That must be why I abuse him so much…

:smiley:

20

I’m reminded of late night guy not realizing that he is the same person as morning guy and is going to have to drag his sorry butt out of bed.

(Hubby just brought home the Road movies on DVD for my mother for Christmas. Labeled by the oh-so-efficient studio).