Well how do you know what’s in my head, you hypocrite moron? Now I see what DDG had to put up with.
Your apology is accepted, idiot. And mine is offered.
Apology Accepted.
[sub]jerk[/sub]
Hey, look here, creep, I’m leaving work now and won’t log on again for a while. So let me just declare in advance that anything that you might conceivably say is undoubtedly idiotic, and worthy of your status as a fatheaded lowlife. And I apologize in advance for all these future insults.
Hamlet you are one funny piggy! I apologize to any pigs or Shakespearan characters that may have been offended by my any of my remarks.
Oink!
Or, if you prefer, tevya:
“Confess yourself to heaven; repent whats past; avoid what is to come; and do not spread the compost on the weeds to make them ranker.”
or:
Fuck Off.
I’ll leave it up to you.
My head hurts. Fuck you all. [sub]I’m sorry. Not.[/sub]
I’ll take number 2 please! P.S. Where’s my apolgy? 
You swine! I heartily apologize for. It was really uncalled for.
Doody head.
Tevya (cough, bitch, cough)
I just wanted to take a second
(one second of my precious life is too much to waste on you)
and tell you how truly sorry
(yeah, try not at all truly sorry, ignoramous)
I was for my earlier behavior
(Which was undenieably fine in my eyes)
I was rude, well-spoken, cruel, truthfull, and ignorant, and damn funny
Please accept my deeply felt apology
Fuck off