Even better:
A little song
A little dance
A little whitewash down your pants …
Chela, I asked before & I’ll ask again – what’s your function for the City? What do you do for a living, besides watching pud-pullers and (apparently) masterfully baiting the Pit?
No, you’re an immature, prudish little girl. Grow the fuck up and get over it. And if your coworker really IS masturbating in public, report him to your supervisor. None of this passive-aggressive, oooh, I’ll send someone UNDIES crap.
There there, kiddo. We’re not screaming at you.
We’re laughing at you.
Was it good for you? Was it everything you’d hoped it would be?
Nah, you’re a garden-variety bluenose busybody. And unless you also want to be an SDMB punchline, then you should just shut up now.
Untwist your underpants, get a grip, and mind your own fucking business.
Every fifteen minutes? Either this guy has the stamina of a Clydesdale, or we can add “masturbate” to the list of words you don’t understand, alongside “porn” and “fetish.”
She never said “masturbate”, she said “prick puller.” Evidently the guy works with thorns, and gets an average of four of them per hour stuck in his skin. He then pulls them out.
Chela the Moron obviously finds this offensive. Perhaps she should mail him some boxers. That’ll show the bastard!
I’d just like to say that I know a few firemen and they are some the few remaining goddamn heroes in our society. These are people who routinely put their fucking life on the line (and sometimes die) to save your worthless prudish life. These are guys that sit around at “work” for hours on end, waiting, knowing that at any time they’ll get called away and they (or one of their buddies) might not make it back. If they want to read magazines, let them. They’re not fucking elementary school teachers.
Maybe they should, and then they wouldn’t have such a magazine fetish. 
Well, I’m sure some of them have fucked elementary school teachers at some point.
Damn you, tdn.
You snooze, you lose (when it comes to snappy replies)!
Damn straight.
Becoming a firefighter means that you are ready, willing and able to risk your life to save others. If that doesn’t define “hero” I don’t know what does.
I don’t know about elementary school, but how about a high school teacher?
Well, “A large sandwich consisting of a long roll split lengthwise and filled with layers of meat, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and condiments,” also defines “hero,” but I don’t know that I’d make an allowance for porno fetish magazines for a sandwich. Even if it were a MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato, where the mutton is really lean, and the tomato is… well, I think I’m getting off on a bit of a tangent, here.
Unless I’m being spectaculalry whoosed, the sandwich you described would be defined as “A sub” in this part of the world. What on earth do Submarine Sandwiches have to do with heroes?
Consider yourself whooshed. The sandwich is called a hero in various parts of the U.S. D’ya want a pop with your hero, or a soda?
And maybe a packet of sultannas, or a side of aubergenes?
Dude, let’s be fair. She didn’t say “to completion”. He could be having a quick pull every 15 min while ogling pron all day and just giving himself some seriously blue nether regions by the end of the day 
Neither, thanks… I’ll have a soft drink, though! 
What about a coke?
That’s how I first knew that I had moved to Texas when I did…I asked for Coke at a McD’s and got asked what kind of coke I wanted.