I liked Squall and Cloud, but the guy from FF9 is so boring I can’t even remember his name, and Tidus is a completely selfish bastard. Not that the other two weren’t, mind you; but I’d take an annoyingly anguished hero over a whining self absorbed jock any day. Plus Squall is gorgeous.
I also want to slap every NPC in Morrowind. They repeat their idiotic little phrases every time you get within 5 feet of them. I wish I could kill them all.
Moving on to literature, I want to slap every single character in “Jenna Starborn,” which is a SF version of “Jane Eyre.” No doubt I’d feel the same way about the characters in the original, but it’s even worse in this setting–the straight-laced society the author created feels so fake.
How about this one: Faramir from the movie Two Towers.
And Peter Jackson for making him that way.
I was in the theater during the midnight first showing (when all of the rabid fans came) and I swear everybody in that theater wanted to go up and beat the snot out of him for being so completely wrong from the book. I can understand taking out characters, but changing them that much from their original parameters is completely unacceptable.
(deep breath) Good Lord, it felt good to find a place where I can say this.
Also, about half of the characters from Voltaire’s Candide.
Yes, he’s a genius; Yes, he always gets his man; Yes, he’s never wrong; but admit it–if you ever met a man that arrogant, wouldn’t you just love to slap his face halfway into next week?
Barry from the movie “High Fidelity”. I’ve never hated a fictional character as much as this one. He antagonizes the customers at the record store where he works. He belittles his coworker. He insults his boss. Why? Because they have different taste in music or know less than he does about classic rock music than he does.
He gets under my skin so much because I encounter people like him a lot. He’s one of those who think their intimate knowledge of some obscure corner of pop culture, or ability to play some game well makes them superior to other people, and isn’t shy about belittling others at every opportunity. He’s kinda like the comic book guy from the Simpsons, but to a much bigger degree.
Rob from the same movie for not firing his ass in every single scene the characters share.
(Well, she’s not really fictional, but I don’t think I’ve EVER yelled at the TV so much.)
The female half of the team that won the last series of The Amazing Race> OH MY GOD!!! I had to keep calling my mother-in-law (who LOVES that series) because my husband just didn’t get it.
swear to God, the other day I was driving and there in the middle of the road was an exploded, driven-over pink plush carcass. I just about died laughing. Guess he finally kept going and going across the wrong road.
So anyway…
Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment. Three words dude…Get A Job. SMACK!
oh, and some other folks who could use a job-the two main characters in Dangerous Liasions, Valmont and (something like)Merteuil. Gee, we just have way too much time on our hands, so we’ll just f*ck up people’s lives, including ours, for fun. SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!
>oh, and some other folks who could use a job-the two main characters in Dangerous Liasions , Valmont and (something like)Merteuil. Gee, we just have way too much time on our hands, so we’ll just f*ck up people’s lives, including ours, for fun. SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!<
Yes please, and Keanu for losing his wrestling match with a period
English accent. Two smacks for same error in Dracula.
Thank you to the person who hated Cusacks’ character in “High Fidelity.”
Faramir. Ugh. I realize the actor was taking direction, he doesn’t write the script, but it bordered on fanfic character fiddling.
Add a huge smack to Jack Black for “Shallow Hal” and everything else he ever did.