The story takes place in Norway, not Sweden.
I didn’t read all the posts but has no one mentioned Holden Caulfield? Me: Slap Slap Slap “You’re the goddamned PHONEY, YOU, do you get it, huh, you f@#&in’ PHONEY?” SLAPSLAPSLAP
The protagonist from * Arx Fatalis *. God, what I would give for the One True Supernatural Amnesiac to take a quick jaunt from the Blood War and rip his whiny head from its ugly-ass body.
John Harker from the 1931 Dracula. He went way past skeptical all the way to cementhead. Van Helsing spends about half the movie trying to convince him Dracula’s a vampire with no luck.
Hugh Grant’s character in “Sirens.” We love that movie and watch it often, but there are about ten places where he says something irritating and everyone in the room choruses “PRAT!” If says something that it takes a bunch of gorgeous wimmins and Sam Neill to overwhelm Hugh…
I really enjoyed “Kristin Lavransdatter” even tho the 2 main characters are immensely slappable.
How about that awful little girl in the “Meet Me in St. Louis” movie?
so many, many obnoxious fictional characters, so little time
I just saw Miracles for the first time last night, and I have a new category of characters I’d like to slap into next week: Any government security agent who disregards basic humanity in favor of “National Security”. Unfortunately, a recurring character in many films and tv shows.
All of the kids from Beverley Hills 90210.
I agree that Philip and Mildred in Of Human Bondage deserve a hearty slapping. That being said, I really did enjoy this novel.
Looks like I’m at the end of a couple long lines to get my turn slapping the two Holdens.
I would also like to give Jubal Harshaw from Stranger in a Strange Land a good thrashing. I doubt the strawmen characters Heinlein wrote to accompany Jubal would even notice.
Okay, like most threads, my brain goes completely blank when I think about it, but reading this has brought to mind a lot of characters I’d love to smack. Seeing as they’ve been mentioned, I’ll leave them alone, but the one that keeps popping into my mind that none of the fanboys have mentioned is:
Ikari Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Jesus fucking CHRIST, man!!! Okay, you’ve got issues with your father. Okay, you’ve got issues with women. Okay, you’re only 14 and you’ve been put in an incredibly awkward situation where the wieght of the world is literally on your shoulders. You just hit puberty, so hurry up and GROW SOME FUCKING PUBES!!! Every single mother fucking battle this whiny little bitch gets into, he sits there and bitches and moans “I don’t deserve to live,” and allows the fucking enemy to kick his ass. And then, when he does fight back and win, he sits there and broods over the fact that “People only like me because I pilot Eva.” Well, no shit! You’re a whinny, self-centered, depressed little fuck who brings down everyone else’s high. You still manage to keep humanity from being whiped off the face of the planet, so of course people are going to be appreciative. Accept it, and do your god damned job properly, you little fuck! Even when everyone else around you is dying and you’re the only one who can save them, you sit there and moan “Everyone’s dying because of me, I deserve to die too.” No, everyone’s dying because you’re TOO BUSY BITCHING AND MOANING TO FIGHT YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!
And when he does finally fight and gets a wonderful gift of being left on Earth with the girl he loves, what’s he do? Slips into a depression and whines.
Little fuck.
Most were already mentioned except for these two Chad (Aaron Eckhart) and Howard (Matt Malloy) in In Company of Men. Actually Howard you just want to bitch slap cause the man has no balls but Chad… I can’t even describe what I wanted to do to him while watching the movie, every imaginable torture you can think of, i thought of while watching him. I don’t think I ever hated any character as much as him… NEVER EVER!!!
I have to add…Luann and Tiffany from the comic strip *Luann[.i]. Well, maybe not “slap.” Maybe more like “impale and turn slowly over a fire.”
Although he’s supposed to be detestable, Chad from In the Company of Men the first character I thought of when I saw this thread. (Howard, on the other hand, was such a spineless wimp that he wasn’t worth the trouble.) In the scene toward the end when Stacy Edward’s character slaps him and Chad shrugs it off and says it’s nothing, I was hoping she would then give him a such a hard punch or kick in the nuts that there’d be no chance he’d ever produce another generation of misogynistic pigs. As for torture, aside from the scene I hoped would take place, I would’ve liked to see someone get medieval on his knee caps.
The cast of Friends
The cast of Everybody Loves Raymond
Marge Simpson
Peggy Hill
Romeo & Juliet
Darron on the show Bewitched
Alley McBeal
Minmei from Robotech
Drew Carey
Martha Stewart
Steven Segal
Regis Philbin
Barney the dinosaur
King Friday from the neighborhood of make believe on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
Captain Janeway
Kess
Abbott of Abbott & Costello
Er… is Regis Philbin a fictional character?
Yes, Bricker. Kathy Lee made him up. 
Miss Marple.
Miss Marple: “I couldn’t help but observe, Mr Smith, that at the time Lady Worplesdon was stabbed in the library you were painting the pergola and could easily have entered the building unobserved while Blug the gardener was distracted by the conflagration in the rhododendrons”.
Correct answer: <slap> “You have no authority to investigate crimes. Go away before I slap you again”.
Eric Forman from That 70’s Show.
They ran the episode where he broke up with Donna in syndication the other day.
What a dumbass.
“Phil Green (Cary Grant’s character) in Gentleman’s Agreement.”
Just don’t smack Cary Grant because he didn’ t play Phil Green. It was Gregory Peck.
Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
Not the cutsey, sad smiling, woe-is-me quadruped from the Disney films (although a good cuff to the noggin would be a good thing. I’m talking about the sarcastic jerk from the original books. Can’t find the passage right now, but there’s one chapter where he’s floating on his back in a river, and just has a smart-assed (no pun intended) answer for every question, no matter how innouous.
Get that critter a Prozac I.V. Please.
Since we’ve already broken the video game ice, how about the incredibly stupid b**** from Phantasmagoria? I played the game ages ago, and I still want to slap some sense into her.
As others have said, Squall from FFVIII needs his ears translocated as well, for being a sulky little git.
As for Mercedes Lackey’s books, Vanyel springs to mind as the most slappable character…until you realize that Lackey is going to do it for you. Over and over and over…