I’d like a copy of The Dying Earth by Martin Silenus - the original copy, not the bastardized version he was forced to publish.
Well part of your dream can come true! I just finished rereading Quidditch Through the Ages last night.
I had to use the ‘recommend this link to a friend’, and the recommendation emails kept getting caught in spam filters. One of them bounced back to me at my audible.com registration address, on yahoo.
I’ve been trying to think of this one for the last couple of days, and it finally revealed itself to me. I would love to get my hands on Tobin’s Spirit Guide from Ghostbusters.
And if you’re still regrettably sane afterwards, follow it up with The King in Yellow! That should do the trick! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_King_in_Yellow
Especially the one about the Giant Rat of Sumatra! 
How I Did It By Victor Frankenstein
The Necronomicon and King In Yellow have been named, but what about
The Black Book by Van Junzt
Unausprichen Kulten
De Vermis Misteris
Re Monster Book Of Monsters
I have a copy that I bought about twenty years ago. It’s an anthology of monster stories.
The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. That thing must be amazing!
I also have a copy of Venus On the Half Shell. In fact, I believe I actually read it.
However, I cannot vouch for your sanity. Or mine, for that matter.
Heh, Penny’s Computer Book would have been pretty cool, too. I’m sure it’s better than a PDA. 
There were about a million cites in the footnotes of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell that I would love to look up, if only they existed.
‘How I managed to build a phenomenal career as a singing sex bomb (in spite of possessing negligible talent, and looking like a transexual truck driver)’ by Madonna.
‘Tree. Me. I am similar to one’ by Harrison Ford
(These have never been written, or even suggested, but they should be…)
Let’s not forget Achmed the “I just get these headaches” Book of Humorous Cat Stories and The Monster Fun Grimoire.
Oh, they just stick you into a convenient space-opera machine and download the knowledge into you. (I loved the sequence in Scouts Progress where the auto-education machine, or whatever it’s called, is used as a torture device.)
Beat me to it!
As an alternative, I’d certainly subscribe to the hypothetical obituary magazine suggested on the board by our own Eve. (Was its title to be Death or Obit? The search isn’t helping me.)
I’m not sure if I could stand to read them through, but I’d like to try anything written by Thomas Covenant – both his pre- and post- leprosy diagnosis works.
But I would surely need a copy of Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie to cheer me up afterward.
Not a book as such, but I’d like to study at the library for the Unseen University (Ankh-Moorpark, Discworld). Or at least read any book that the Librarian would find for me.
But is not the Library connected through L-space to every other library that might (or might not) exist, including the one down the street here in Mundania? The problem is getting upper-level librarians to admit you through that certain seldom-used door. And then finding the way…
I’d settle for being able to make an inter-library loan from Unseen University.
Well yeah but can you argue that spaceships, sex robots AND wide open beavers wouldn’t have been even better ?