Favorite Books that don't really exist?

If everyone will forgive my posting, this seemed like a promising topic…

What are your favorite “fictionaL” books? That is, books that only existed in Movies, TV, literature, etc., and not in real life.

I’m personally giving an early vote for the original Necronomicon, by Abdul Al-Hazred. :slight_smile:

(Or maybe Thype.)

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pre-teens, prominently featured on The Simpsons.

50 ways to leave your lover

I have to second the Necronomicon.

Other than that, “Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey” by Mable Syrup. (From “Calvin and Hobbes”)

World Targets in Megadeaths a binder held by Geroge C. Scott’s character (whose name I’m drawing a blank on) in Dr. Strangelove.

Ranchoth, you stole my idea.

gets down on his knees and remember his lessons from the Chuck Heston school of overacting, begins yelling “DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”

I vote for How to Cook for Forty Humans from the “Hungry Are The Damned” episode of The Simpsons.

One I’ve been talking about for years is When Good Things Happen to Bad People

To Serve Man

"It’s a cookbook!!!"

Working Without a Net - the as-yet-unreleased Harlan Ellison auto-biography that Ivanova was reading in the Babylon 5 episode “TKO”.

Al Bundy made “Bigguns” famous.

“Stoichiometrics of Oxygen-Carrying Capacity and Diffusion Gradients with Increased Arterial Gas Tensions”
From “the Andromeda strain”

OK, I had to look it up. Just to spell it.

General Buck Turgidson.

My vote goes to either “Will There Ever Be a Rainbow” or the J. Peterman story (what was the title?) from Seinfeld – which of course was the life of Kramer.

I want to get my hands on an Acme catalog. They sell everything from TNT to railroad ties to huge springs. And they must offer very competitive prices or Wile E. Coyote could never afford to keep shopping there.

The Joye of Snacks by A Lancre Witch… My god, the things I could do if I got my grubby little hands on that book… :smiley:

But, Punditlisa, everything he buys from there is defective or backfires on him. I think ACME must be a clearing house for factory reconditoned items, discontinued product lines, rejects, and merchandise from bankrupt retailers. Buyer beware.:smiley:

Inspired by the Twilight Zone episode, a man wrote just such a book.

   "To Serve Man
    A Cookbook For People"

It was written by Karl Wurf and published by Owlswick Press. As I keep a kosher house, I haven’t tried out any of the recipes just yet. Also, I’m gonna need bigger pots-much bigger.

Besides the unmentionable, previously mentioned Necronomicon

I’d like
Unausprechen Kulten
The Black Book
and The Pnakotic Manuscripts

From Other Stuff-
Ghostbusters-Tobin’s Spirit Guide

Never Ending Story-I want THAT book. The one that has parts about me reading it printed in it.

Young Frankenstein-How I Did It
You’ll all be happy to know that I’m hard at work on Doc Cathode’s Big Book Of Things Man Was Not Meant To Know.

the joys of cooking milhouse

and also:

love in the time of scurvy

both from the simpsons