Films that SHOULD be re-made

Generally, I dislike re-makes. But there are a couple of films that I would like to see updated, mainly because modern special effects would add something.

Fantastic Voyage is the one that immediately comes to mind. There have been a few similar films, but I’d really like to see the original done with modern effects. I’d love it if Pixar would pick this one up.

Planet of the Apes is another one. They need to make a re-re-make because the one with Mark Walberg sucked. Same goes for The Time Machine. The latest attempt was pitfiful.

And Black Sunday should be done again. Much as I like Robert Shaw, he was wrong for the part in the original. Very dismal film, made from a great book. This would also be very topical right about now.

What others can we think of?

Dune needs to be re-remade. David Lynch really fucked up the one he made in 1984, and the miniseries on Sci-Fi was awful.

Guys and Dolls. Marlon Brando’s singing is in violation of the Geneva Convention.

The Perfect Storm. Excellent, excellent book utterly screwed up by the movie. Let’s try it again with a touch of realism, shall we?

I saw Lauren Bacall in something the other day, and I still think that it would be cool to have a remake of How to Marry a Millionaire with her in William Powell’s role.

Of course, that could go really, really badly if it’s done wrong. But I think it would be fun to watch it remade well.

Master and Commander, Post Captain…Far Side of the World. All ten as their own movie.

Ivanhoe. Combine the Robert Taylor and James Mason versions. Taylor charging through the camp and striking all five shields in challenge, as well as the final combat from his movie are great.

The Forbidden Planet as a pilot to replace Enterprise.

Fletch Film the damn book, not Chevy Chase’s mugging!

Day of the Triffids. The perfect blueprint for a horror film. Better effect will help, but if they stick to the book, even bad effects can be forgiven.

I’m happy about Cheaper by the Dozen “remake” (from what I hear the plot is not much like the orginal/book - more or less just borrows the title and 12 kids theme. Fine by me) so in that vein, how about an update of Yours, Mine and Ours? Or…what was that Jerry Lewis movie where he babysat triplets? That could be redone too, I think. And I’m still longing for a new MacBeth that isn’t a TV movie…

Another vote for Fletch.

Starship Troopers. Dp it the way Heinlein wrote it.

I second * Starship Troopers.* With modern CGI, they could actually do some decent power armor. That, and keep the politics to what Heinlein wrote down. Anyone know of a good Filipino actor to play Rico??

Billy Budd. Put some life into it this time, because in the original, Peter Ustinov mumbles his way through it as if he’s bored to death, which I’m sure he was.

The Rocking Horse Winner. It’s nearly impossible to get a copy of this movie. Please, somebody either redo the thing or at least remaster it so it could be distributed.

Another vote for Feltch, er… Fletch Sorry, I guess I’ve been watching too much Family Guy. (No, I haven’t read the book and don’t really care if it’s remade, I just had to get in that joke.)

Starship Troopers The way the book was written. None of this bullshit with a>guys standing in circles firing machine guns, b> planetary assaults with no heavy weapons, and c> long slow avoidances of on-coming FTL asteroids.

I second Planet of the Apes. The costumes and stuff were cool in the Mark Wahlberg remake, but the plot sucked monkey balls.

Two R or X rated remakes of 60’s TV series, as movies;

Gilligan’s Island Ginger as a Porno star. But that Mary Ann…yowza! Mrs. Howell as a trophy wife.

Pettycoat Junction Come on, think about it. Three young women with no visible means of support living at a remote train stop under the watchfull eye of an older woman and “Uncle Joe”. What do you think was going on there?

Robin Hood. With a more authentic feel than the cheesy Costner version.

May I suggest the 1946 Disney Film SONG OF THE SOUTH. It has never been release on video in the US. due to a preceived pro-slavery stance. A remake could present the chracters to a new generation and avoid most controversy.

Star Wars…I and II.

It was distributed on reel to reel long after it left the theaters, though. I’m only 26, and I’ve seen it. One of my elementary schools had a copy.

I’d like to redo Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The main character would be the car, just as it was in the book. I’d give you a car that you’d happily trade 10 Maseratis and 10 Porsches just for the privilege of driving it once. A car freak’s car. A…what was it? eight-litre, twelve-cylinder supercharged Paragon Panther. That just happens to think for itself and has a device for every eventuality that you’d never noticed before.

An entertainingly eccentric Cmmdr. Caractacus Pott and a Mimsie with more character development than Fleming gave her, but the eyes through which the events of the movie would be seen would of course be those of the kids. Who would be the first to sense that the car does its own thing.

No fucking musical numbers.

This was done in 1938, with Errol Flynn.

Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions