Whenever someone starts a Chick tract thread I always see how far I can get through the linked noise. The best I think I’ve ever done is halfway before the stupid becomes overwhelming and I either have to close the tab or stab myself in the temple with an icepick.
But today while researching another topic I came across one of the fabled Lost Chick Tracts.
So now, presented for your edification.
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
It took me til the end to realize it was a takeoff! heh
STARS ARE WRONG
Stars are Wrong!!
lol
Bwhaha!
“John is safe … are YOU?”
A companion to the “Be eaten first!” tract?
And now the Stan Lee-Jack Chick collaborationg!
http://yourmomsbasement.com/archives/2006/11/galactus_is_com.html
Now that one made me laugh.
That’s the spirit! 
My fave tract is still The Last Generation.
It’s chilling what’s going to happen to the world…
I don’t suppose anyone is aware of a site that collects alternate chick tracts is there?
This site has a few, though it hasn’t been updated in years.