Find a home for my Naughty Bits!

What I’m looking for is some white boxer shorts with large (2-5 inches in diameter) red polka dots, like in the old Monty Python’s Flying Circus episode entitled “How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body.”

If you’ll recall this episode, it was constantly punctuated by pictures of different body parts, and every time the reference was something to do with “naughty bits,” said bits would be covered by these white garments with large red dots on them.

“The naughty bits of a horse.”

“The naughty bits of a lady.”

“Just to the left of a very naughty bit indeed.”

If you can help, thank you. If you can’t find the shorts, the obvious other option is always open, but you’ve got to run the gauntlet of qualifications before I can consider your application:

Human
Female
Healthy (aka: noncontagious)
Single
Legal
Better looking than me
Weigh less than me
Have a fetish for ugly old guys who weigh more than you

But that’s not really what I’m talking about here (although my email’s in my profile).

[sub]Hey, it’s worth a shot, right? In Congress, they call this a rider.[/sub]

I think your “rider” has a double entendre.

http://cgi.ebay.com/5-YD-BOLD-RED-WHITE-POLKA-DOT-CRAZY-COTTON-FABRIC_W0QQitemZ140154078000QQihZ004QQcategoryZ29818QQcmdZViewItem

Make your own?

Eye of the beholder, my friend. Eye of the beholder…

(Dadgum “clicking wrong button” syndrome!)

The Ebay auction has polka dots that are too small. They need to be at least a few inches in diameter, and red on a white background. I’ve looked for pics, but haven’t found any yet.

I also don’t know how to sew, nor do I own a machine for such purposes. Thus, I’m restricted to buying from someone else.

Hmmm… Ok, well then, Plan B. How much do you weigh :wink:

About 50 pounds more than I’m evidently supposed to.

I keep meaning to do something about it, but the Atkins diet really interferes with my beer drinking, you know?

http://www.webundies.com/coke.htm

Eh. Not what you’re looking for, I know. But the first one’s caption cracks me up.

:smiley: I’m over 40, so it doesn’t so much pop as fizz slowly, but thanks anyway…

http://warmbiscuit.com/red-white-polka-dot-fabric.html

?? Mr. Fiz :smiley:

Dijon, you sound like my kinda man. :smiley:

My initial thought when viewing your url involved images from Married With Children.

Heh! Reminds me of a movie that I rented back in my “I can rent porn and my parents can’t find out!” days: “Married With Hormones.”

It was the saga of the Undy family: Hal, Meg, Nelly, and Dud.

Classic cinema, it was not. “Dud Undy” is a pretty funny name, though.