What I’m looking for is some white boxer shorts with large (2-5 inches in diameter) red polka dots, like in the old Monty Python’s Flying Circus episode entitled “How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body.”
If you’ll recall this episode, it was constantly punctuated by pictures of different body parts, and every time the reference was something to do with “naughty bits,” said bits would be covered by these white garments with large red dots on them.
“The naughty bits of a horse.”
“The naughty bits of a lady.”
“Just to the left of a very naughty bit indeed.”
If you can help, thank you. If you can’t find the shorts, the obvious other option is always open, but you’ve got to run the gauntlet of qualifications before I can consider your application:
Human
Female
Healthy (aka: noncontagious)
Single
Legal
Better looking than me
Weigh less than me
Have a fetish for ugly old guys who weigh more than you
But that’s not really what I’m talking about here (although my email’s in my profile).
[sub]Hey, it’s worth a shot, right? In Congress, they call this a rider.[/sub]
The Ebay auction has polka dots that are too small. They need to be at least a few inches in diameter, and red on a white background. I’ve looked for pics, but haven’t found any yet.
I also don’t know how to sew, nor do I own a machine for such purposes. Thus, I’m restricted to buying from someone else.
I’m over 40, so it doesn’t so much pop as fizz slowly, but thanks anyway…