Finding a thread: giving telemarketers who call a business, a fictitious employee to contact

[dougie_monty]

I had found this thread some time ago, but I can’t remember its title or the name given to the fake company employee whom the company’s employees would refer the bothersome telemarketer to, that persistently calls the company. The name would actually be some telephone code that would disconnect the pestering caller, or leave them in limbo. Can anyone identify this thread, please? Thanks.

[Idle_Thoughts]

This is better suited for ATMB, so I’ll move it there for you.

[Fluffy_PickleSniffer]

Maybe this one?
The Telemarketer Speaks

[dougie_monty]

@Fluffy_PickleSniffer

Maybe this one?
The Telemarketer Speaks

Thanks anyway, but this isn’t the one…

[The_Other_Waldo_Pepper]

@dougie_monty

Thanks anyway, but this isn’t the one…

Sent you to a link that wasn’t really the answer to your enquiry? How meta.

Was it this?

[dougie_monty]

@OneCentStamp

Let me tell you the story of Ms. Releasha Jones.

When I worked for a medical office in Houston (2007-2010), one of my responsibilities was managing the call center. And during times of heavy call traffic, I would take overflow calls myself. For whatever reason, this office got a ton of scam and solicitor calls. The whole gamut: pest control, medical supplies, insurance, business loans, the infamous “toner scam,” legitimate (but still annoying) toner salespeople, everything. It was profoundly irritating, during a rush of legitimate patient phone calls, to pick up the phone and have a barely-verbal cold caller mumble something about, “May I speak to the person in your office who is in charge of ordering the sterile supplies?” or “Hey, this is Jerome over at ‘the office supply company’ and I’m just ‘updating our records.’ Could you remind me what model copiers y’all have over there?” :mad: :dubious:

Usual practice, approved by me, was simply to hang up on these people. Because the hang-up button on our phones said RELEASE, one of my employees, an African-American girl, started referring to hanging up on someone as “transferring to Releasha.” (In Houston, that would have been a not at all implausible name for an African-American woman, so it really was pretty damned funny.)

A few months after the coining of “transfer to Releasha,” I was taking calls on a busy Monday and got a call from a toner salesman. “May I speak to the office manager, or whoever orders the supplies for your printers and copiers?” In a fit of pissed-off inspiration, I cheerfully said, “Sure, that’ll be Releasha. Hold for a moment while I transfer you!” And then hung up. The call center employees who weren’t on calls themselves busted out laughing.

And then it happened: the phone rang again, and it was the same guy. “Yeah, I was just speaking to someone at your office, and he was going to transfer me to Releasha. I must’ve got disconnected.”

Cue lightbulb going off over head.

Instantly, Releasha was a thing. A person. A force of nature. There was an ongoing contest (on slow days only, of course) to see who could get a salesperson to call back the most times in a row after being hung up on. (Record: 8.) These people were so used to getting yelled at and hung up on, so desperate at any chance of a sale, that you could string them on for a surprisingly long time with a simple, “I am SO SORRY! Our phone system is being weird today. Let me transfer you to Releasha again.” click

Because these companies latch onto any piece of information they can to get their foot in the door, and because they sell and buy lists of leads, we started getting cold calls specifically for Releasha. Some of these people claimed to be good friends of my fictitious office manager. Examples:

"Hi, I’ve been working with…Releasha?..on some quotes for janitorial services. She told me to call this morning around ten. Could you put me through?

“Hey, I just missed Releasha’s call. Could you let her know Dan from Shitheel Toner Company is on the line?”

“What was…Releasha’s…last name again?”
(This one took me by surprise.)
“Um…Jones.”

Within six months, Releasha Jones was getting 15-20 calls a week. Within nine months, she was getting mail addressed to her. Catalogs. Flyers. Calendars. Mouse pads. Free samples of OTC pharmaceuticals. I left that company in June of 2010, and over a year later, she was still getting mail.

Relesha Jones…that’s The one! Thanks!

[dougie_monty]

@The_Other_Waldo_Pepper

Sent you to a link that wasn’t really the answer to your enquiry? How meta.

Was it this?

Yes, it was! Thanks! I just couldn’t think of the fictitious name “Relesha Jones”!

[The_Vorlon]

I see your Ms. Releasha Jones, and raise you Helen.

“Wha?” you ask?

Many yharin ago, I worked for a gentleman, to use the term loosely, who was a legend in his own mind. In addition to our real jobs, he sold and installed phone systems. We had a phone system that would be not taxed to be in a office that had 200 staff. It was a tad bit of overkill considering there was three of us in the office. Every bell, whistle and blinky was on the system, including ‘Call Park’.

Now we got 1 real call per 25 or so inbound calls, so it was game on. Bill Collectors, telemarketers and assorted grifters would suddenly need to talk to talk to the non-existent 4th staff member, Helen.

As in Ms. Helen Whaite.

We would transfer the call to Call Park, and after 10 minutes the system would dump the call.

And they would call back…

[Corner_Case]

@The_Vorlon

I see your Ms. Releasha Jones, and raise you Helen.

Reminds me of the old Red Skelton sketch. He is doing his act onstage and is interrupted by a messenger from the theater manager. It seems a purse was found by a Mrs. Hunt. He announces, “If anyone is missing a purse, then after the show, they can go to Helen Hunt for it.” {pause} “Hey!” {ba-dum-dump}

[dougie_monty]

What a chop!

[dougie_monty]

Gary Owens wrote a book titled The (What to Do While You’re Holding the) Phone Book. He offered suggestions for how to deal with nuisance calls, including blowing a shrill whistle into the mouthpiece, which would at least give the caller an earache; and giving the caller a loud razzberry. My Mom disapproved of the first suggestion, saying a caller could claim injury and sue. Personally I like to lay the handset on the desk and wait until they give up and hang up. Though that might not be practical in an office.