I Had a Telemarketer Hang Up On Me!

No shouting, no cursing, no threats. Here’s how it went.

HI, THIS IS (someone from some place) AND WE JUST NEED TO VERIFY SOME INFORMATION FOR OUR RECORDS. FIRST. . .

Excuse me. I didn’t catch your name. Who is this?

MIKE FROM (bland sounding company name containing “mortgage”). I WANT TO VERIFY. . .

“Bland sounding mortgage company name?” Do you hold our mortgage?

OUR RECORDS SHOW YOU CAN GET MONEY OUT OF THE EQUITY IN YOUR HOME. ALL WE NEED TO DO IS. . .

*Excuse me. What records? Do I have a business relationship with you?
*
. . . CLICK

What a wuss. I think Mike gave up awfully quickly. It’s not like I said “no,” or “fuck off and die,” or something that would constitute an actual rejection. I was actually a step behind him all the way through the conversation because our mortgage has been sold something like four times, and I was still trying to figure out if the call might somehow be legitimate.

In my day, telemarketers wouldn’t let you go until you hung up on them or at least blew a whistle into the phone. These damn kids don’t know how to work hard!

I used to use a similar technique with those, “Your car warranty is about to expire!” calls. I’d just ask them, since they knew so much about my car’s warranty, could they tell me what make and model it was?

Call always ended pretty quickly at that point.

I cannot shake the telemarketers who want me to purchase burial insurance. I seem to get more than my share of them. I think someones trying to tell me something. Eeeeekkk!

Just tell them you’re already dead. See if their script has a response for THAT.

I did something like this back when long-distance companies used to call all the time to try to get you to switch to them. I kept politely insisting I didn’t have a phone. She got more and more confused. Finally she asked, “Well how are you talking to me, then???” I politely said, “I’m not.” It was around this point she hung up on me.

Today I got a call from what the caller ID said was a company I’ve sometimes been interested in working for. So, stupidly, I answered.

“HI, IT’S TIME TO RENEW YOUR MEDICARE CHOICES!” (Or something to that effect involving “open enrollment”.)

Click, from my end. That was the fourth call today from that number, about 1300 (1:00PM in civilian speak). I’ve received no more today. Tomorrow is likely a different story.

Oh, well, that’s one of the reasons firearms exist, I suppose.

another fun idea :
Tell them that you don’t have time to talk, because you have to report to jail to start your 10 year sentence , for paying your debts with a stolen credit card.
But you’ll be happy to give them the card number.

Years ago, shortly after I answered a telemarketer’s call (this was before call display) I once asked a telemarketer to repeat his name. He was happy to comply: “Mark.” (Or somesuch, but “Mark” works for now.)

“Marrrk,” I said, as if I was writing his name down. “Thanks. Now, Mark, where do you live and what’s your home phone number?”

“Whaaa …?”

“Well you interrupted me and my family in my home at dinner for something I have absolutely no interest in, so it’s only fair that I interrupt you and your family at yours, to talk about something you probably have no interest in. What’s your time zone and phone number? Go slow, since I’m writing this down.”

“But, but … wouldn’t you like to hear about [whatever he was selling; I don’t remember]?”

“Not until I get your home phone number, Mark. Hey, don’t even bother with the time zone; I can get it from the area code.”

He hung up.

Similar to Spoons, I ask for Mother’s Maiden Name and Social Security number.

I actually had a telemarketer hang up on me and then call me back - is this a record?

A couple of years ago you used to get (in the UK at least) calls about “the car accident that you had within the last 3 years”. This happened so often that I prepared my own script.
*“I’m calling about the car accident that you had in the last three years”

“Oh. Uhh…”

“So you had one?”

“Uhh - I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Could you give me the details?”

“Well, I was drunk. I stole a military half-track vehicle and drove into a group of nuns. I haven’t been out of prison for long…”*
Which was all quite fun. I managed to tape a couple of them. Some callers would just hang up, one or two started shrieking at me, and one - an American woman, as it happens - just said: “Uh - I need to speak to my supervisor” and then hung up. I thought this was pretty funny, but then she called back. I would love to know what her supervisor actually said - “Go for it, it might have been the nuns who were at fault!”

j

One did yesterday. It was a real person, called me by my last name, etc. The first words out of my mouth were “Who are you?”. Click.

Usually after I ask “Who are you?” I’m the one doing the clicking.

The only good one I remember was a survey or marketing call or something saying if I did thus and such I’d get a coupon for a free pizza!!!

I said, “No thanks, I don’t eat pizza.”

“But it’s free! Large, anything you want on it!”

“I don’t like pizza.”

“… Um …” click
:smiley:

My mother is 92 years old a polite to a fault.

Someone called to tell her that she had won a lot of money in a contest. Mom was too polite to hang up so she stayed on the line and answered questions until the caller asked who she banked with.

Mom: I can’t tell you that.
Caller: Why not?
Mom: Well, I’ve heard that sometimes when people call to give me money, they’re actually trying to get money from me.
Caller: click

i sometimes turn these things into obscene phone calls.

TM: I’m calling about (whatever)
Me: Oh, really
TM: Yes, *goes into spiel)
Me: Are you wearing boxers or briefs
TM: (Pause) What?
Me: Boxers or briefs? What color? How tight are they?

If TM doesn’t hang up, it gets X-rated very quickly.

Hey Annie, can I get your number? :wink:

I thought everyone knew Annie’s number.

867-5309

She just goes by Annie on the board.

I’ve mentioned in another thread that I used to used a similar technique to Annie.

<bedroom voice>
Me: What are you wearing?
TM: What?
Me: What are you wearing?
TM: I can’t tell you that!
Me: Well if you’re going to want my credit card number I’m going to need to know what you’re wearing.
</bv>
Man or woman, it didn’t matter. I was an equal opportunity perve.
Got giggled at by a couple of women and cursed at by one guy.

I’ve found that when answering known calls like this that if I answer with “this call may be monitored or recorded” in my best robovoice you’ll never even hear their voice.

That’s if they were trying to sell you a genuine product. If they were just scammers, they’d move on at the first sign of resistance and wait for the next random number to answer.

Then ask them their blood type.

Back in the 1990s (early enough that it wasn’t yet even odds that if you asked a random person they would own any type of computer) I had someone call trying to guve me a free trial of something computer related (maybe a magazine or service, I can’t remember.) She asked all sorts of technical questions about my computer, applying the relevant flattery (my, what a big hard drive you have!) and eventually asked for my credit card info. As soon as I pointed out that if it is a free trial, they don’t need my credit card info, she hung up.