Finding out your neighbor is a jackass

The BBQ Pit
21

Two weeks ago here in St. Louis, right after the ice storm, I was chipping and chopping my way through the ice down to the pavement to get my work truck out of the parking space here at the apt. complex where I live.

My downstairs neighbor comes out and watches me for a few before offering to get his truck and pull me out.

His truck has no tow package of any kind, and my truck is already sliding back-and-forth on the ice between two other vehicles, and Mr. neighbor, even if he had a tow package/winch of some sort, doesn’t have enough room to pull me straight out of the parking spot, so as to not risk hitting anyone else’s vehicle with my work truck.

I politely decline his offer, and politely thank him for making it, and go back to chipping/chopping/shoveling.

Mr. neighbor watches me for a few more minutes, and again offers to tow me out. I again politely decline his offer, and again politely thank him, briefly explaining that, due to liability reasons with my company truck, I can’t accept his help.

Back to chipping/chopping/shoveling; making slow but steady progress, beginning to break out in a sweat and get a little winded, but still plugging away.

Mr. neighbor offers one more time, and I, somewhat snappish at this point, snappishly tell him no.

He threatens to stomp my ass flat, kick it up one side/down another… :rolleyes:

I don’t know if this guy is psycho, or just stupid, but I call the cops just to get the incident on record. They tell me they talked to him, told him to not make threats, and, if I’m an asshole, just forget about it. “No harm, no foul,” and all that.

Now I can hardly walk by his door without he sticks his head out and curses at me and threatens all sorts of dire bullshit. Last night in the laundry, I had to listen to a 15-minute tirade of his bullshit.

So far he’s done nothing, and I figure he’s all talk, but one of these days, he’s going to jump on my last nerve, and then his punk ass is going to the ER and I’m going to the jailhouse.

I don’t know where this ranks in the “jackass neighbor” hierarchy; anybody wanna trade neighbors?

22

I don’t understand. If the entrance to the garage is perpendicular to the street, surely you can drive right in straight from the street. Did you mean parallel?

Speaking of weird neighbours, although both my parents’ neighbours are generally very nice, one is always on the lookout for anything like litter, loud noise at night, etc. One night, some friends and I were talking outside my house before going our separate ways. The neighbour came out to complain that we were making too much noise. Not wanting to piss him off, I went inside. The next day, I happened to see the guy, and he said my two friends had mooned him as they left. He informed me that he had photographed the event and would call the police if it happened again. It still gives me a good laugh to think that he’s got pictures of their bare asses somewhere! And they’ve never done it again :).

23 
[]\    |    /[]
        |
        |
        |

=============

I pictured something like this. If I correctly interpreted the situation, I’d call that perpendicular.

24

Damn ascii art, anyway.

Try this:

\ | /
… | …
… | …
… | …

where \ = garage

… = lawn

| = driveway

and

==== equals road.

25

It would depend on what, exactly, you are talking about. If you mean the plane containing the garage door, then it would be perpendicular. On the other hand if you mean the vehicle approach vector, then it would be parallel.

26

Well, that’s a relief. :dubious: :wink: