A hearty SCREW YOU to my psyco neigbors

The BBQ Pit
1

We have lived here in this neigborhood for seven years. It isn’t the friendliest neighborhood in the world, but people do speak politely when spoken to, acknowledge your presence etc…

Our neighbors to the right, however, have serious problems. The people we bought the house from had lived here for 15 years, and said that the lady of the house next door would not even speak to her when they passed in the grocery store. Well, fine by me, I thought. And thus we have continued our co-existance. This fine family has three unmarried daughters, with the youngest daughter being 18/19. All three daughters have children (I know because I have seen them. One of the daughters even came over once, and I gave her kid an ice cream). Grandma runs to her mailbox, collects the mail, and runs, literally runs, back into the house. The curtains are always closed, and Grandpa refuses to make eye contact even if we are both out cutting the grass and are heading right towards each other.

This Spring, I was out in the front yard doing some yard work. Grandpa came outside with one of the grandkids and was watering the grass. Grandkid says, and I could hear them perfectly well - “Spray that lady with the hose, Grandpa.” I smiled to myself, but then heard Grandpa reply “No, the hose won’t reach.” :eek: I looked up to see Grandpa moving back towards the house, whereupon he gathered up psyco-in-training grandkid and went back in the house. Asshole!

Today - my 10 year old went out to collect the mail. Psyco Grandma was outside with their new boxer puppy and one of the psyco grandkids. Psyco grandkid turns to Grandma and says - “Grandma - let the puppy bite that boy.” To which Grandma replies - “No, the puppy needs to go back inside now” :eek:

You fucking bitch! How about, “no, that would not be nice” or “Psyco Grandkid, what a mean thing to say”.

I am still left open mouthed and raging! Good way to raise a sociopath you, you…Damn, it made me so mad I can’t even think of something bad enough.

2

[list=a]
[li]get a life[/li][li]get a sense of humor[/li][li] Hi Opal.[/li][li]get a cane, ‘cause yer turnin’ into an old coot. Practise screaming “You darn kids, geddaoffa my laaaaawwwwnnn!!!”[/li][li]Get a fright mask, & scare the little bastard good.[/li][li]fnord[/li][li]:p[/li][/list=a]

3

Well things could be worse. You could live next door to Bosda. :smiley:

4

Claymores. Just a few Claymores.

5

Buck, I think one of these would be more satisfying.

6

I thought I was the only one with a Psycho Neighbor.

7

Theme from Mission Impossible playing in background…
Lyllyan your mission is to save the Boxer…then nail all their doors and windows shut. Put the garden hose in the mail slot, and turn the water on full…

8

what type of neighbors do you have mudshark?

Lyllyan get a bigger dog.

9

Wow. And I thought my weirdo Klopek-like, never-leave-the-house-or-be-seen-by-human-eyes neighbors were odd.

10

So what, I don’t like being spied on by my neighbors and I share my scathing sense of humor with my offspring and suddenly I’m a freak?

Seriously, it doesn’t sound like a big deal. For all you know the grandparent’s could have been teasing the kid, or playing along. I mean, it’s not like they handed the kid an uzi and told him to go play nice or anything.

11

IN this case-IGNORE them.

Sheesh, if that’s your idea of a psycho neighbor, you’re pretty damn lucky. Trust me.

12

Gee, thanks for all your understanding. I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in a row since last Tuesday and have been in almost constant pain, so I suppose I am a little on edge. Makes me want to lash out and hurt somebody.

If you take what was said by P-Grandma and P-Grandpa out of context, yeah, it sounds pretty funny. But when you pair it with other behaviour, such as the time P-Grandma threatened some 9 year olds with a gun for being on her lawn, you tend to stop laughing so heartily.

In closing, FUCK YOU.:smiley:

13

I like my neighbors. Their kids are wonderful and they bring me strawberry shortcake.

//Bill Cosby//

My neighbors are great, bring me strawberry shortcake!

//Bill Cosby//

On the other hand, the neighbors next to them are psychopaths. I won’t get into it, but let’s just say it has something to do with their fifteen-year-old daughter sneaking into our house and stealing something that one should only get from a doctor.

Ava

14

Sorry, this is very weak on the scale of “psycho neighbors”. And this is coming from a guy who pitted a neighbor for mowing my lawn.

-lv

15

Okay, see that is what I would consider pertinent information that should have been included in the OP. Definitely not a good move on Grandma’s part, but in and of itself doesn’t warrant the psycho qualifyer. Now if she’d threatened to unleash the hounds of hell by summoning Zuul with a pitchfork and a vat of jello, or nailed a neighborhood dog to her apple tree, then maybe she’d fall a little closer to the looney-bin range.

16

This is why I am not good at giving movie synopsis either. I tend to leave out lots of stuff.

17

How many times do I have to tell you people?

It’s TAPIOCA PUDDING. Not Jello!

Sheesh. You’re gonna piss Zuul off and he’s not going to come visit me anymore.

Lyllyan, for what it’s worth, the neighbors sound a bit off. Perhaps it’d be best to watch out for them.

Ava

18

You also might want to consider contacting the A-Team.

19

I guess I should have signed you guys up for Trading Spaces.

20

As I’ve posted many tomes before, and will again (I love telling this) we call my neighbor the Crazy Lady (and on some occasions Alabama).

She is in her late 60’s, and mental illness ran in her family. She used to be friends with my grandparents (who are neighbors on the other side of my house) in the 70’s. In the early 80’s she began to act strange. She would call friends on the phone go on about how she had to get back to Alabama, that her husband was “on to her.” Relatives of their family say they fear for her husband.

Fast forward to 1992 when we build out house between hers any my grandparent’s house. Shortly after we move in to our house, she starts to walk up and down her driveway whenever we are outside and tell us how she wants to build an 80 foot fence so she doesn’t have to look at our “god damn ugly faces”.

Once, I was playing outside, and she decided that it was a good time to burn the woodpile on our property line. That isn’t a big deal, we burn near there too. So, being the curious kid that I am, I watch her. Alabama decides to make strange gestures at me with a stick. She soon stops after the fire is started and goes inside.

She loves to burn stuff. Usually she waits until the fire is nice and large, and then she goes inside. Snow and rain don’t stop her from trying to burn. At least twice a year, she will be outside in thunderstorms trying to get her woodpile going. If we have any sort of outdoor event, she will start a fire without fail.

If we are outside, and she is going somewhere, she drives down her driveway very slowly, and will give us the “thumbs down” sign. She will on occasion roll down her window and blow raspberries as she gives the thumbs down. She also enjoys spitting in our direction, very loudly.

Another time, she was painting her garage door. She notices us watching, and decides to start painting the driveway. A few weeks later, she is out in her the middle of her driveway and is hammering a metal pole into the middle of her driveway.

She also loves to get verbal. It’s not uncommon for her to pick up a stick and throe it in out yard and yell to us “Here doggie, fetch.”
Or, if she is in a more colorful mood, “One of these days, I’m going to come over there and slit your throats”. Once, while she was taking out the trash, she yells to our mother “I’ve worked all my life, you asshole”. We called the police when she started up with one of my sister’s friends.

Lately, she has been taking her medication, because nothing big has happened. Although, the other day, she had a reclining chair out by the road marked “free.” The only thing was, she was sitting in the chair too.

I hope I didn’t leave out anything important.