Share your nasty neighbor stories.

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by this thread and my neighbors.

We’ve all had neighbors who were less than perfect, but sometimes it’s like they don’t have a clue that other humans live next to them.

My nasty neighbor decided that the tulip bushes I had between our houses were the cause of her spider infestastion. Nevermind the fact that we had no spiders. Every year the beautiful purple blooms would attract dozens of hummingbirds.
She ordered her husband to chop down the bushes, but he insisted on asking our permission first. Of course I said no, but he said if my husband would help him get rid of the bushes, that he would pay for the fence panels to extend our privacy fence up between the houses.

So we agreed.

But since there would be a fence put there, they would have to uproot the bushes instead of chopping them down. Those things had been growng there for 20 years! Then the neighbor guy said his shift had changed at work and he wouldn’t be able to help as much as he planned. :rolleyes:
So, after my husband had done most of the work himself, he asked the neighbor about the fence. Neighbor said he was difinitely going to get the fence but he would have to wait a few weeks because he was low on funds.
During those few weeks, he decided set his self on fire in the backyard in front of his wife, kids, and me.

We found out later, that he had chronic depression and had been in and out of mental hospitals. :frowning:

2

In one place I lived I had neighbors who just a horror. They lived above me. Their kids were noisy and left their toys and bikes in my driveway. I had two floors and even when I was in the lower floor I could hear their kids. They were never nice, never waved, never smiled. When they put up their christmas lights they plugged them into the outlet my outlet, not theirs. When they moved they left a big wicker chair in front of their door - big enough to block my door. I waited a week and moved the chair out of the way. When they came and picked up the chair they left me a note that said “we’ve come to reclaim our chair.” I have no idea what I did to make them behave this way. My favorite part of that story though is that they plugged their christmas lights into my outlet. This couldn’t have been a mistake. The doors were side-by-side, but my outlet was right next to my door farthest from them and their outlet was right next to their door farthest from me. You had to know which outlet was yours.

3

I do jumping jacks naked in front of the window on moonlit nights.
They throw dollar bills at me.

4

Had a neighbor once that worked on Harley’s (usuallu those without any form of muffler). It would not have bothered me if this work was done only on occassion. This, however, was daily. I had a newborn child that was constantly being awakened by the racket. I politely went over & explained the situation to him. He revved the cycles more frequently & to higher RPMs. My double insulated windows were shaking. I contacted the police. They said they could not do anything. Then they gave me a ticket for my dog barking at the motorcycle noise - there apparently was a law against dogs barking, but nothing for unmuffled Harley engines. I went to court to fight the ticket on the grounds that it was absurd. I got to pay the ticket -and- the court costs.

Eventually, I decided that my backyard had a heavy mosquito infestation & any time the noise was too loud to hear the TV, I would go fog the yard for 30 minutes or so. Amazingly, this had the side effect of ceasing the motorcycle noise for a period as well. <cough>

5

Wow. That really puts my balls in a salad shooter. Them’s some shitty laws you got there.

resumes doing jumping jacks

6

When I was a little girl, we had a neighbor named Mrs. Grimes. She complained all the time about my two cats, Blackey and Whitey, saying that they were piddling in her garden. This was probably true, but the garden looked spectacularly healthy anyway, despite a bit of extra “watering.”

One day Mrs. Grimes decided to solve the problem by putting rat poison in some ground beef and feeding it to the cats. Poor Whitey died in Mrs. Grimes’s garage, and Mrs. Grimes brought the body over to my house, threw it down on the front porch, and boasted about having killed Whitey. Later in the day we found Blackey hiding under a bush. He was very ill, but he survived.

Mrs. Grimes moved away a few months later. I wonder what became of her. Something bad, I hope.

7

Oh wow. That’s horrible. If that happened now, I’d insist that you call the SPCA and have something legal done to her.

I’m sorry.

8

I’m pretty sure my new neighbors sell crack. We live in a mother/daughter house; I live in the back of the house and they live in the front. They moved in last month and I immediatly noticed undesirables pulling into the driveway and waiting in their car for a few minutes, then my neighbor walks up to drivers door for a minute then goes back inside and the car pulls away… repeat 10-15 times a day. There doesn’t seem to be any other explaination for this behavior other than selling drugs.

9

ONe place I lived, the landlords mother lived right next door. This woman seemed to think that she owned my house. She even had a key that she refused to give up. She would come in my house and “clean” when I wasn’t there. She would throw away anyhting she didn’t think a young unmarried couple should have. (cigs, condoms, beer, magazines, munchie food…) She would leave nasty old food in the fridge, becuase she didn’t think that a young whore like me could cook. The food was so bad, you couldn’t even tell what it was. Finally the last straw, I had some friends come stay with me for a week, and she flipped out. She said she smelled something funny, and told her son we were making drugs and that she couldn’t sleep knowing that two unmarried couples where havving wild drug induced sex right next door. We weren’t cooking dope. Her son seemed to think it was funny and didn’t care as long as we paid the rent. I said screw it and left after only four months. While packing she came right into my house and started sorting things, like into keep and throw away. Finally I told her to get her old bitchy ass out, I would be gone soon and If I saw her again before I left I was going to kick her ass. She called the cops :smiley: I explained the situation to them, they knew me, and stayed while I finished packing. Everytime she would come outside they would run her back in.

10

I had to spend a short time on tranquilizers and antidepressants, last year, since the people in the flat above mine simply could not believe that I needed to sleep at nights … their idea of a good time was to invite some friends round (anything up to a couple of dozen - how they even got them all in the place beats me) about 11 p.m., and carry on swigging Southern Comfort and playing guitars until well after dawn. Fortunately, they were on a short lease, and the landlords refused to renew it.

11

Several years ago, a couple moved in next door. They became friends with the single lady on the other side of me. Then the guy lost his job and while his wife was at work, he would head on over to single lady’s house. Except he would walk through our yard to get there. After a few weeks, we had a muddy path cutting through our yard. One day we had just pulled into the drive, my husband pulled up close to the house because it was raining and we had groceries. The guy practicly climbed over the car (with us still in it), on his way to single lady’s house. These people never even said “hi” to us. And single lady, who had been friendly before the couple arrived, stopped speaking to us. But they would have coversations with eachother over our fence.

They also had a huge dog that barked at everything and nothing. And he would steal things from other yards and eat it in the middle of the street. They thought it was endearing, and didn’t think animals should be controlled by rules.

One day my husband and I were planting flowers in the front yard. Our dog who was not allowed in the front yard, was enclosed on our screened porch and voicing his displeasure with not being allowed to help with the gardening. The neighbor guy came into the yard and demanded that we make the dog stop barking. My husband told him that we were almost finished and he would stop barking then. Guy said he had a huge headache from the barking. I said “atleast he stays in his own yard.” He got all snippy and started talking about how he was sorry I felt that way, and how he was hoping we could all be friends, and stomped off. :confused: It was the first time in 3 years he had spoken to us.

12

My neighbors dog. It shits right next to my patio. My patio juts right up to their property line. During a hot summer night, when all I want to do is loaf and drink on my patio, I get to smell dog crap. The husband is lazy as hell and just mows over it but the wife actually tries to pick it up. They are gone all the time as well. I’ve probably seen them only a couple times this last year. Their poor dog is out and alone all the time, it’s pretty sad.

13

Neighbors suck. Oh, how I hate them.

My current apartment has been a total nightmare. When I move out of here, I will never live in another. I live on the ground floor and there is a floor above me. My last upstairs neighbor was a crazy lady who got it stuck into her head that someone was always trying to break in. The cops would come frequently- after the second time, they stopped with the dogs and helicopter. Every night, very late, she’d push all of her living room furniture against the door. She’d stay up all night and sleep while I was at work during the day. She had no qualms going about her crazy lady life in the middle of the night as though it were daytime, and she had nobody underneath her trying to sleep. I tried to talk to her right after I moved in, and she screamed at the top of her lungs, “It ain’t ten o’clock at night! I don’t HAVE to be quiet!” One time she caught my 7 year-old outside and threw a stick at him. Recently she moved, yay, I couldn’t have been happier. Then the other day a family of four moved in up there, and I’m considering nominating the crazy lady for sainthood. They make her look like the quietest little mouse.

My neighbors across the hall have four kids under school age. The parents don’t work, it seems, and they let the little darlings run around outside screaming at the tops of their lungs at ten and eleven at night. There is a curfew of nine o’clock for those under eighteen.

There is some neighbor in my building, I haven’t figured out who, that has sex for several hours every. single. night. From about 8 to about midnight, the walls in my bedroom and even my bed itself shake. It’s a very distintive shake, with slight variations from time to time, and there is no doubt what it is. Even though my bed is pulled out from the wall, if you were standing there you would see my body shaking from side to side as I was lying there. This has gone on literally every day since last August. At first I thought it was the crazy lady upstairs, as incredible as that seemed, but then she moved out and it’s still going on. I’m never going to complain about it- who am I to proclaim when others when they should fornicate- but damn I wish they’d move soon.

14

And I have to say that, based on my experience, if you have to have neighbors, have Mormons. Mormons make the best neighbors.

15

The druggy neighbors from hell. An endless stream of car all hours of the day and night. Kids running the neighborhood at all hours, knocking on doors looking for free handouts of food. The police finally did something after one of the women living there had the crap beat out of her. The house was siezed by the county through some drug abatement laws and sold to my current neighbor, Mr. Lawnmower Man. He mowes his lawn almost daily, year around.

16

Wow. Every day?! Early in the morning? That would drive me nuts.

17

My nasty neighbour has moved out. He sold his house because his crackwhore girlfriend moved in and got him addicted to drugs, which caused him to lose his job, which caused him to have no money to pay the mortgage.

Thankfully, the police knew about the goings-on next door and raided them early one morning. Didn’t help much.

18

Whoa. Some of these make my bad neighbours look like saints. I’m so sorry, pinkfreud. I would have torn out their necks and beaten them with them.

Last year we had a couple that had a little dog above us. Our apartment building is pretty old and not that soundproof, and most people in the building know that and are quite quiet. They stomped around in heavy shoes- the girl in stilettos- used a clicker (that you could hear clearly) at all hours (for dog training), and used to chase each other around screaming, “I’m going to catch you! I’m going to catch you!” at three or four in the morning.

Then they’d have really, really loud sex.

At our last building we lived next to a guy that would get regularly get very drunk and stoned, and then sit on his balcony screaming at passersby. At two or three in the morning. He usually complained about the inequality that those of his racial group faced, at the top of his lungs.

We also briefly had a neighbour lady who would pull the fire alarm late at night because she was mentally ill, and thought that sleep equaled death by fire.

19

My former next door neighbors eventually defaulted on their mortgage and lost the house. It was an absolute nightmare-they had a revolving collection of dogs that would shit in the yard, of course, and instead of cleaning it up, they’d just mow the lawn right over the dog shit, which would then stink up the entire backyard-on nice days, we couldn’t even sit outside in our backyard, because it stank so freaking bad.

We’d hear the older girl screaming and coming down from some kind of drug withdrawal. When they were kicked out, they left three of their cats behind with no food. My mother fed them and when we could, we sneaked all three cats off to the horse ranch where we got our cats. (This woman runs a kitty foster home, she usually has tons of cats and has them fixed, then adopts them all out). A few days later, they finally came back to look for them.

The mother had guys going in and out, and after they were evicted, basically, the boy would sneak back in to get high and vandalize the downstairs. The new owners who were fixing the place up had to change the locks and they’d just climb in the windows. Somebody called the cops and they found drug paraphanelia and all kinds of shit over there. (Now, I know are drug laws are draconian, but Jesus Christ, can you say loss of property value?) And they’d scream all hours of the night and day. Ugh.

My other next door neighbor’s ex-wife was bipolar and used to start fights all the time, but she’s been gone for years, and he is the nicest, coolest, most generous guy on the planet. His two kids are really great, and their dog is so sweet and well-behaved.

20

The neighbours. Oh the neighbours. I’ve written here about the running over of our water meter, and the turning off of our water at the main tap on the same night that they sent three different takeaway drivers to our house with food deliveries.

We’ve had to call the police on them, because they had a habit of sitting on their front porch to smoke, with their stereo up so loud we couldn’t hear our own tv in our living room - on full volume. We’d asked them a few times to please turn it down, nicely. They’d comply for an hour or two, then up it would go again.

Apart from the noise complaints to the police (which we tried to reserve for only the times when it was simply unbearable), we kept to ourselves. We didn’t complain when their kid was having tantrums at nine in the evening, screaming until midnight. We didn’t complain when their dogs would spend all night barking, when they’d mysteriously be hammering things into the walls at midnight, or when they’d sit on their front porch getting steadily drunker and shouting obscenities at each other and their friends down the street.

But they were living next to us for over a year, and apart from the one incident of juvenile behaviour, (the water meter and delivery things) we didn’t hear anything from them about anything. So I was surprised when I got a call from our real estate agent one day stating that they’d called to complain that we were noisy, waking their child and keeping him awake and that we weren’t maintaining the property (at the time of their “complaint” our front lawn needed to be mowed, but our mower was broken and due to a rain spell the guy we get in to do it for us was booked out for nearly a fortnight). Now at the time they complained, I was working nights, so I wasn’t home between eight thirty pm and eight am. Hubby was home, but when I’m not home he spends his time on the computer, in a room that is on the opposite side of the house from our common wall (we live in a semi-detached). We don’t have a stereo, a barking dog or a crying baby. When I’m not home, hubby doesn’t have the TV on at night, and I don’t have it on when I’m sleeping during the day. Sowe didn’t have any clue what “noise” they were complaining about.

A fornight after that, they were kicked out of the house.

Not only kicked out, but since they’ve been spending their time sharing living space between Her mother’s place down the road, and their friend’s place across the road, we posit that they were unable to find anywhere else to rent in time. Their solution? Why, try to get our lease revoked, and move into our house!

But now we laugh. They tried, they failed. Now we have a very nice, single lady living next door to us. We’ve established a back-fence-friendship with her. She says she’s not heard a peep out of our house, and we’ve not heard a peep out of her. Everybody’s happy.