I suggest following up with the other available doctor. You don’t want a lack of rapport with your physician creating an unbearable experience.
I mean, it’s inconceivable that you’d want to stick with someone dismissive of your concerns.
In fact…ah, good luck.
I am a physician myself, and I’ve known some very friendly docs who were kind of inept and some gruff docs that really knew their stuff. When I pick a doctor for myself, I usually don’t worry much about bedside manner as long as the doc isn’t being egregiously rude or inappropriate. In the end, all that really matters are the results, to me.
The important thing to me would be that it does sound like he is taking your fertility troubles seriously and doing what he needs to do to maximize your odds of success. He probably wasn’t interested in your charting at home because it doesn’t change his approach in the office (and maybe for cultural reasons - if he is from another country - he didn’t realize that he was sounding patronizing about it). I wouldn’t waste time switching docs when you can just look for a nicer doctor to see through the rest of the pregnancy once this guy gets the ball rolling.
3 months of charting is also not a lot, really - hard to see any patterns in only a few cycles.
I think we did one month of Clomid without IUI before moving on to with Clomid+IUI, but if the goal is to get pregnant, IUI is not at all an unreasonable approach, especially at your age (I think I was also 38 when I started, and I had my baby a few days before I turned 40, as a result of my first IVF cycle). If you can’t afford IVF, then you want to be able to do as many rounds of IUI as early as possible to maximize your chances. Even if your husband has no sperm issues, you may have cervical mucus issues that can be overcome by IUI.
Good luck. I really hope you get your baby.