Five Kinds of Crushes

In My Humble Opinion
1

The first two types are crushes on people you’ve never met and aren’t likely to:

A) Actor and Actresses, whose job generally includes revving you up and being convincing at it.

B) Other Public Figures. Including but not limited to models, political figures, athletes, etc.

The next three types are crushes on people who you’ve actually met:

C) Someone way older than you. Could be a teacher, or maybe a camp counselor when you were a camper, or maybe a friend of an older sibling, or an especially attractive friend of your parents. In any event, this is someone who probably never noticed your attraction, or maybe did notice and thought it was cute. Totally age inappropriate, but no less powerful for that.

D) Someone age-appropriate for you, but you never had a chance anyway. This might be a star athlete at school where you were Absolutely Noone, or maybe someone who dated some of your friends and came to think of you as part of the background.

And finally

E) Someone you had a shot at, but for some strange reason, it never happened. Either you were with someone else at the time, or you really wanted to but never found the right moment, or who you thought about romantically but too late and you kicked yourself, or something like that.

Anyway, who is your most prominent A, B C, D, and E? As many details as you like (or are appropriate here) but please fill out all five categories.

2

A) - None
B) - None
C) - None
D) - Cathy Hawke, who was in some of my classes in high school. She remains the most stunningly beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. (She was a girl then…) Oh, the fantasies I used to have all through class every day, when I could see no other thing in the room but her. She was so totally out of my league, I couldn’t have said anything to her that wouldn’t have confirmed it completely. I never spoke to her at all, even ‘hello’. I wonder about her from time to time, and hope she has had a very nice life. Dear Og, she was fine.
E) - Carolyn Pepper, who was in some of my other classes. She was sort of the antidote to Cathy, but she was stunning in a whole other, more grounded way, and I did actually say hello to her once, but to think that she would have had the slightest interest in me was out of the realm of possibility. I ran into her a few years after high school, when she was working at a store, and I had my camera with me. Now I always have a picture of her smiling that I can dig out and remember how nice she was, and how much time I wasted wishing I could have been worthy. I was two years younger than everybody in my year of HS, and a nobody besides, which pretty much put me out of the relationship sweepstakes.

The crushes that were more up my alley back then were F) Orange and G) Grape.

3

A) - None
B) - None
C) - None

Really? I thought those were a given of life on this planet.

4

A) Actor

Brad Pitt comes to mind - as does Sean Connery.

B) Other Public Figures. Including but not limited to models, political figures, athletes, etc.

Kasey Kahne - but alas, he is too young for me.

C) Someone way older than you.

My cousin’s friend. I had this mad crush on him when I was younger. I did have the chance to hook up with him once much, much later, but I didn’t do it.
D) Someone age-appropriate for you, but you never had a chance anyway.

Gotta think on that one.

E) Someone you had a shot at, but for some strange reason, it never happened.

Robbie - we were pretty good friends back in the day, even though we went to different schools. His mom died the summer I turned 14 and he was 16 . We spent a lot of time together talking and just hanging out. I had a crush on him but never told him becuase I thought it would be odd for him to know that I liked him. Funny thing is, he liked me, too. I didn’t find out until I was dating my (now) husband. We still are good friends.

5

Well, OK, upon further reflection, I went through a Kate Bush phase for awhile. Does that count in your survey? How can any man look at Kate in her 20s and not get weak in the knees? But I never bought a poster of her or anything.

I’ve really never had the hots for an actress or other public figure, nor for an older person of my family’s acquaintance, nor a teacher, or anybody like that.

6

A) Larisa Oleynik. She was star of a show called The Secret World of Alex Mack, this show where a girl gets drenched by a chemical spill, and the spill gives her powers, such as being able to levitate objects and zap people with her fingers. I went through the phase that many people go through when getting crushes on celebrities, researching everything about them. I still remember a few details, such as her favorite breakfast cereal being cocoa puffs and her liking Nine Inch Nails. At the time, she was 16 and I was 15, so at least it’s not unrealistic from an age-difference standpoint.

B) I guess Tyra Banks intrigued me for awhile, but not really that much.

C) I thought that an Air Force Captain who I worked with for several weeks at a job was pretty cute. She was about 10 or so years older than me. Mmm…women in uniform.

D) The girl in high school who was voted “best looking” during our senior year.

E) A single girl that I worked with just before leaving for college. Since I’m in the co-op program, I frequently travel between home and my job. For some stupid-ass reason, I waited over a year to call her again. By that time, she had a boyfriend.

7

A. none

B. none

C. none

D Every cute girl in the freshman class, plus a lot of the sophomore girls, one junior girl and two seniors.

E. none

8

I ought to play, too:

A) Angie Harmon

B) Jackie Kennedy–I was only nine when this crush got started, but it was a humdinger.

C) My English prof in my senior year of college. She was about 30 y.o., gorgeous and smart and passionately interested in talking to me (in class) heatedly and seriously and persuasively, and I thought for a good long time about ways to keep those conversations going after the term ended. It turned out that she had a serious drinking problem, and I would have gotten burned badly like anyone who got involved with her, but at the time…my teeth ached from wanting her.

D) Miss Perfect–this girl in high school, who was just too cool for me. Dressed up for school elaborately, perfect hair and features, well-spoken and bright–I decided that it was too much a Romeo and Juliet thing, as I was someone who redefined casual-dress, on a daily basis, and hung out with an irreverent, goofball crowd. As it happened she dated my arch-enemy in high school, who was a much scuzzier greaseball than I could ever aspire to be, and I gave myself the proverbial Thom McCann enema for months.

E) Betsy–A student in a class with me in grad school. I had a girlfriend, 500 miles away, and I was determined to be faithful to her, and I was. But at a cost–the more I got to know this girl in school, the more I liked her, and the more I thought about breaking up with my girlfriend to be with her. But I didn’t.

9

My most common crush is a type that’s not listed (although it’s closest to option e): people who you think are fantastic and attractive and all things wonderful (usually friends) but who you never, ever want to have a relationship with, whether because you or they are already in a satisfying committed relationship, or because it’s clear you’re hopelessly incompatible for each other, etc.

For example: I currently have an enormous crush on a couple who are very good friends of my husband and I. Both of them. They’re great. I have a vague fantasy of bringing up the suggestion of swinging, but I know the likelihood of that ending any way but in tears is very, very low. Any circumstances which would allow me to be with either of them would be so awful that the possibility isn’t attractive to me.

I also occasionally have (perhaps somewhat lecherous) crushes on teenaged boys.

And, when I was a teenager, I became very close with a co-worker who was also the brother of a good friend of mine. We would flirt shamelessly with each other, at first because it really grossed my friend out, but later because it was just fun. I guess since we were friends first we knew each other well enough to know it would never work (plus, his family is insanely dysfunctional).

As for your other crushes:

a) I was once in love with Harrison Ford but now he’s just creepy and awful and weird. And my boyfriend, Bono, clearly doesn’t count in this category.

b) Heather Mallick, columnist for the Globe and Mail. It’s mostly an intellectual crush. But wow, she’s great. gush

c) nope. Unless you count Indiana Jones.

d) All the crushes I’ve had of this type have ended up with me realizing what an arse he is. Except in the case of my husband, who as it turned out wasn’t ‘someone I didn’t have a chance with,’ contrary to the four months of longing I went through.

e) Mostly of the type listed above. The main difference between my definition and this one is that I have never sincerely wanted to be with them, I just enjoy having a crush on them. No aching longing and all that.

10

a) Lots. A prominent example: Nikki de Boer, who I will suffer through positively awful TV shows to watch.

b) A rather broad category, don’t you think? A singer: Debbie Gibson.

c) 60% of my teachers in HS. I had hot teachers. Failed OAC calculus the first time because my mind wasn’t really on the math. ^__~

d) Several. Least embarrassing example: my friend Jenn, who was already seeing her (now) fiance when we met.

e) 2 examples…one from junior high school, one from HS, both of whom flirted with me, but I stupidly ignored them in favour of pursuing someone I never had a chance with. (Now, you see why Jenn’s the least embarrassing example for d? >_<)

11

What about the category of “crush on a poster on the SDMB”? :smiley:

And YES to all of your examples. Too many stories, too few people interested in hearing them. :smiley: Again. :smiley:

12

a) John Cusack. This shouldn’t require any explanation.

b) Sean Avery. Former Detroit Redwings player - I think he’s with the LA Kings now. Great fun to watch on the ice, especially when he was playing on a line with Brett Hull.

c) At age fourteen, I went on a trip through Germany with our community band. My second host family had three gorgeous sons, all over twenty. I never wanted to leave.

d) In college, I had a massive crush on this guy named Bill. He was attractive, funny, and popular, but I wouldn’t say he was out of my league. He was, however, celibate, which kind of reduced my chances.

e) I was a student director at the American College Theatre Festival Nationals in Washington D.C. my senior year of college. While I was there, I hung out with this guy (he was either a director or a playwright - I can’t remember now), who I really liked. I think he liked me too. Hope he did, anyway. However, I was dating Evil Todd at the time, and so locked my romantic longings aside. Had I known then what I know now… It probably would never have been anything serious, but it might at least have been fun.

13

A) It’s a toss up between Jeremy Irons and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
B) Andrea Casiraghi, the son of Princess Caroline of Monaco.
C) Dr. D. My H.S. teacher. I was 14 and he was an Oxford grad in his late 30‘s.
D) Charlie. The hottest senior my freshman year. I thought I fell under his radar. I met him a few years later in the dining hall of my University. Unknown to me, he was friends with my best friend. Before we could be introduced, he said “I know you! You’re —!” He not only remembered my name but what floor my locker was on, who I hung out with and his favorite outfit of mine. :smiley: For a split second I was 14 again.
E) Mark. A good friend that I fancied rotten. He never asked me out, just all of my friends.

14

I assume you’re talking about crushes, not random lust, right?

A. The only one is Annette Funicello during the original run of the Mickey Mouse club. I was five at the time, so maybe this counts as a crush on an older woman too. All I remember is that somehow my perverted preschool mind decided that it would be very good to sleep with her. I guess there was something that just stood out about Annette. Oddly enough, she wasn’t nearly as interesting in the beach movies.

B. Madelaine Albright. :eek: Just kidding. No one really.

C, D. No one either.

E. Not counting many two day crushes, I had it really bad for a girl in ninth grade. My proto-geek self would never ask her out, not that there was a lot of dating back then. I did dance with her three times at our end of school class party, then she went off to a different high school. I actually looked her up on a high school alumni site, and she is using her maiden name. If I weren’t married…

15

A. Alan Bates, Oliver Platt

B. John Lennon when I was young, George Stephanopolous more recently

C. One of my high school teachers. He actually yook me out to dinner once and it felt so deliciously forbidden. Howevre I got cold feet when his daughter asked him if I was going to be her new Mommy. That freaked me out and made me realize I was a virgin who was in way over my head. I learned much later that this extremely atttractive guy dated a lot of inappropriately young students of his. He later commited suicide.

D. Can’t think of anybody in this category. I always have thought that I was good enough even for the most popular, intelligent or witty guys I met. (OK, OK, so modesty is not my long suit in this regard.

E. Ah, this category makes me sad. Had a best friend of the opposite sex for many years. We flirted outrageously all the time but neither of us would endanger the friendship by making the first move. I knew too much about his pathology where women were concerned. I regret it now because he died under mysterious circumstances that might have been suicide. At the Memorial service, hisa Mom gave me a big hug and whispered, “I always hoped you two would get married.” She implied that I could have made him happy enough to prevent his tragic end. Boy, do I miss him!

16

A. Tina Fey, right now. (she could be answer to #B I guess, but meh)
B. Don’t know her name, but she’s an anchorperson on CNN I think
C. My senior year art teacher, for a short time. a bit over double my age at the time.
D. Was friendly with a bunch of cheerleaders and other pretty girls in high school, but I never had a chance in hell.
E. Happens all the time. .

17

A. - I used to have a big crush on Ronald Colman, the star of such old films as Random Harvest and Lost Horizon. Actually, I still do, but people think it’s odd 'cause he’s been dead for fifty years.

B. - None.

C. - None.

D. - None.

E. - There was a guy in college who, upon reflection, probably was interested in me, and I dreamed about him often. I was finally so fed up with being reminded of my crush and being too shy to do anything about it, that I swore if I dreamed about him one more time, I’d make a move. Never dreamed about him again.

What about fictional characters? I used to have a crush on Link from the Legend of Zelda games. And, uh, some others.

18

A (actors and actresses): Not many, as I an sometimnes actively anti-celebrity. However, I was and still am strongly attracted to Halle Berry in that movie about solar racing across Australia.

B (other public figures): Not sure. I went to high school with a girl who may have had the hots for Ed Broadbent (then leader of the New Democratic Party, a Canadian political party) though… she was an ardent NDP supporter.

C (someone way older than you): My grade-10 English teacher. Oddly, I now have no memory of what she was like, just that the crush existed.

D (age-appropriate, but you never had a chance): Kathy Sano. Grade 10 through grade 13, she was my unrequited dream: Japanese-Canadian, smart, athletic, a cheerleader, and she got straight As including in math and physics. She was in a few of my classes as well. I ran into her at the ten-year reunion and told her that she was my dream girl; she thought that was sweet.

E (someone you had a shot at, but it never happened): Anna-Marie Hubbard. We became friends in university, but I never had the courage to ask her for an actual date. Even when I was staying at her parents’ house. That is still my greatest regret.

19

A) It’s hard to pick one actor, but Brad Pitt will work.
B) Prince, of course. I luuurrrve him. He’s my babydaddy.
C) I have no older crush, so I’ll go the other way and name my younger crush, this boy of about 20 that works at my neighborhood convenience store. He appears biracial, and has the most beautiful green eyes and this black wavy hair… oooh he’s hot, but so young!!
D) My crush all through junior high and high school, Mike Mcardle. Of course, he was very very popular and I was very very nerdy and not popular. Never had a chance.
E) Matt Adams. We dated, then broke up but remained very good friends. I was in love with him the whole time, which was painful, but it really taught me that when you love someone, you love them for who they are, not because they love you back or anything else. We probably would have begun dating again, because by being friends we had gotten pretty close, but then I moved across the country.

20

A- Billy Boyd and Jimmy Fallon (Please don’t make me choose. Can’t I have both?)

B- Saku Koivu of the Montreal Canadiens

C- History teacher from high school. He was also a gym teacher and would teach wearing track pants that really clung to his awesome butt. It would move just a little as he wrote on the board… Every girl in that class was in love with him.

D- Stephen. The cutest guy ever. I was crazy about him for years. He couldn’t stand me though, possibly because of my dorky glasses and braces. Oh well. Looking back, I must have annoyed the hell out of him.

E- Hot Russian Guy. I should have asked him out. I waited too long, someone else got to him first, and he was lost forever. I found out a year or so later that he had been considering asking me out but was chicken about it. Damn!