Five Things We Learned From The Eliot Spitzer Sex Scandal

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

On WOR Radio This Morning:

  1. Smart People Do Some Stupid Things.
  2. It’s Cruel To Make The Wife Stand By You.
  3. Straight Arrows Are The Easiest To Bend.
  4. PAY CASH!
  5. Never Bet Against The Black Blind Guy.
2

Somewhere in New York, Customer #8 is breathing a sigh of relief at how he dodged the bullet.

3

Ditto for customer #10

4

My understanding was that he did pay cash.

5

It’s a bad idea to move money around in increments greater than $1000, unless you can directly link it to retail purchases or mortgage payments.

6

He set Spitzer up as part of a bloodless coup? Well, there’s no proof to the contrary …

7

This Christmas, in theaters near you:

From the people that brought you Rutger Hauer in BLIND FURY!

and

the people that brought you Wesley Snipes in PASSENGER 57!
A Michael Bay production
of a Parker House Film

Directed by Kevin Smith and Michael Bay
STEVIE WONDER
TIMOTHY OLYPHANT
ALAN RICKMAN
and JAMES EARL JONES

[sub]agh- i can’t do it…[/sub]

8

Oh Come On! With a title like that, it’s just begging for

…& Starring Samuel L. Jackson as the Black Blind Guy

9

Actually, the dollar amount is inconsequential. The computer models look for suspicious patterns, and don’t have a threshold for amount. If you try to move $4000 by buying thousands of 99-cent money orders, your transaction will be flagged.

Every transaction is examined, so when you use a credit card to buy a slurpee and hot dog at the 7-11, sophisticated algorithms evaluate the transaction and report to the government as necessary.

We did learn, however, that if you want to give your buddies on Wall Street at $200 billion bailout, do it while everybody is distracted by a sex scandal.

10

Not really. If the Feds go after Spitzer, they’ll have to go after #8 (and the others) to avoid charges of selective prosecution.

11

What did we learn from the Spitzer sex scandal?

Nominative determinism still rules! (“Spitzer”…? <nudge nudge wink wink>)

Er, let me start again. What did we learn from the Spitzer sex scandal?

A sex scandal is a great way to distract the media and the masses from what’s really going on, especially if the accused actually did it.

[sub]So, what is really going on?

I don’t know! I was distracted![/sub]

12

I heard about this on NPR, and how Spitzer, as an elected official, was under even more scrutiny than usual. I can’t BELIEVE knowing that anytime you make a transaction your bank deems “suspicious” you will be reported to the IRS doesn’t freak more people out. Talk about Big Brother. Nice to know my bank works for the government. It makes me want to move to Switzerland.

13
  • The CBC will lavish time and reportorial resources on a visit to a prostitute by the administrator of a foreign sub-national entity.
14
  1. Even guys with hot wives will cheat.
  2. Schadenfreude is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe.
  3. Irony knows no bounds.
  4. It’s not cool to pay for sex.
  5. There are plenty of safer ways to pass the time - philately, for instance.
15

I understand that they were retail purchases…

16

Elendil’s Heir

or, as I heard it, spitzenfreude

17

Wholesale surely. :smiley: (I’ll just go stand in the corner now).

18

No no no… Spitzer was renting.

19

Well, he got close: philandering.

20

Elendil’s Heir:

Yeah, but philately got him nowhere.