Terrible movie sequels
Highlander II: The Quickening
Should have been only one
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Speed on boat goes flat
Caddyshack II
Lazy repeat of wacky movie
Next: More terrible movie sequels
Exorcist II: The Heretic
Pazuzu, succubus, “synchronizer”? oh my
Jaws 2
Chief Brody faces another shark
The Sting II
It didn’t sting; it stunk
Next: Universal’s creature features
Dracula
He vants to suck bluh
Frankenstein
Karloff turns brilliant monster mute
The Mummy
He can’t rest in peace.
Next: Bloated Casts and Thin Box Office Returns (star-studded flops)
A Bridge Too Far
It’s World War II far.
Cleopatra
Great cast, but sucks asp.
Bonfire of the Vanities
Willis! Hanks! Still went south.
Next: Movies with ‘Blue’ in the Title
Blue Velvet
Very underrated Dennis Hopper role
Varsity Blues
Football movie is totally cliche’d
Blue Lagoon
Brooke Shields gets naked… again
Next: Movies with ‘Red’ in the title
Reds
Beatty portrays early American commie
Red Meat
Hipster trio talks about women
Three Colours: Red
Last part of French-Polish-Swiss trilogy
Next up:
Movies with “White” in the title
White Christmas
Bing’s perennial favorite movie musical
The Lair of the White Worm
Surreal B-grade old horror flick
White Men Can’t Jump
But Woody Harrelson apparently can
Movies with ‘Green’ in the Title
The Green Ray (Le Rayon vert)
Low self-esteem sometimes appropriate.
How Green Was My Valley
Book is so much better.
Soylent Green
Soylent Green is [spoiler alert]!
NEXT: Movies starring a cat
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
Sally Field voices cat perfectly.
That Darn Cat
Fun Disney live action picture.
Harry and Tonto
Man, cat, another incredible journey.
Next: Movies starring a horse
National Velvet
Girl trains horse to race
Black Beauty
Horse narrates his own story
Flicka
Horse saves girl from cougar
Next: More movies starring animals
Milo & Otis
Puppy and kitten have adventure
Gypsy Colt
Lassie Come Home with horse
Turner & Hooch
Mastiff and Hanks solve crime
Next: Cop or Detective is on the case!
A Shot In the Dark
No Pink Panthers this time!
Murder On the Orient Express
No one will convict them
The Great Mouse Detective
Basil must foil Professor Ratigan
Next: Movies in outer space
“It bites fresh unwiped ass.”
Thinking of ‘Alien: Earth’ which I just watched ep.1 of last night:
Alien
Don’t look into the pod!
Aliens
Again attempting alien usefulness, dummies?
Alien 3
Don’t think Weyland–Yutani are altruistic
Next: Movies featuring corporate dystopias
Blade Runner
Tyrell creates, disposes of life
The Lorax
Profiting off bottled air sucks
Robocop
OCP controls cops, commits crimes
Next: Movie parodies
This Is Spinal Tap
This review goes to eleven
Scary Movie
Wayans mining horror comedy gold
Not Another Teen Movie
Actually a pretty funny movie
Next: ROMcoms: where romance and tech intersect
The Fly
Scientist, reporter have doomed romance
Limitless
Writer, artist transformed by nootropic
Avengers: Endgame
Tony, Pepper finally create family
Next up:
Movies about happily-married couples (at least for awhile)
Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star
Dickie reveals cracks in relationship.
Same Time Next Year
Married; not to each other.
Family Man
“What if?” Cage finds out.
Next:
Movies that have a city’s name in the title
Chicago
I did not like this.
New York, New York
I liked this one better.
Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears
1980 Best Foreign Film Oscar.
NEXT: Winners of Best Foreign Film Oscar
Winners of Best Foreign Film Oscar
All Quiet on the Western Front (2022)
German soldiers endure Great War
Parasite
Poor family infiltrates rich home
Babette’s Feast
Danish sisters hire French refugee
Next: August 16th in National Airborne Day, movies featuring Paratroopers