Five-Word Movie Review

Odd casting choices that worked

Patrick Stewart in Green Room
White supremacist boss? Not Picard!

Bruce Willis in Die Hard
Comedy TV actor does action.

Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight
Rom-com hearthrob plays villain gloriously.

“Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.” Movies where nuclear bombs are used.

Dr Strangelove
Kubrick’s hilarious black comedy scores!

Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Charlton Heston destroys the planet

Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Where Artificial Intelligence takes over

Next: Movies with dead people who appear alive

Ghost Story
Never, ever mess with Eva

Truly, Madly, Deeply
Some ghosts are just annoying

The Sixth Sense
You know who I mean

Next up:

Movies with electronica soundtracks

It Follows
Allegory for STDs in teens.

Blade Runner
Is Deckard secretly a replicant?

Drive
Stuntman caught up in heist.

Movies with ambiguous endings that leave the audience guessing.

Inception
Will that thingy keep spinning?

The Hidden
Does the little girl know?

2001: A Space Odyssey
What will Star Child do?

Next up:

Other Kubrick movies

Lolita
Stranger danger! – wait, she what?

The Shining
“Danny isn’t here, Mrs. Torrance.”

Dr Strangelove, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb
“Mein Fuhrer, I can valk!”

Next: More movies with Peter Sellers

The Pink Panther
Bumbling Inspector Clouseau in introduced.

A Shot in the Dark
Fleshes out Inspector Clouseau’s character.

Revenge of the Pink Panther
Lookalike Clouseau killed, hijinks ensue.

Movies that involve uncomfortable topics

Happiness
Suicide, loneliness, and child molestation

Welcome to the Dollhouse
More sunshine from Todd Solondz

I Spit on Your Grave
Rape, but still ogle her.

NEXT: French movies that hit big in America

Amélie
Quirky woman does good deeds.

La Cage aux Folles
Gay couple pretend they’re straight.

Chocolat
Woman’s chocolate shop transforms town.

Full frontal: non-porn films where a guy’s wang is clearly visible

(bumping)

Boogie Nights
Dirk Diggler’s dangling dingdong displayed.

28 Days Later
Naked guy walks through hospital.

Borat
There’s that famous wrestling scene.

Movies about the movie industry

The Player
Murder, blackmail, infidelity, money… Hollywood!

Sunset Boulevard
Ready for close-up, Mr. DeMille!

Galaxy Quest
Behind the scenes, TREK style!

Late 60s films that tried and failed to connect with the “youth” demographic

The Love-Ins
College professor turns hippie messiah

The Hippie Temptation
Hippies as seen by newsreels

Riot on Sunset Strip
LA cop fights hippie agitators

Next: '60s screwball comedies

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World
Epic Brit rant about America

The Producers
Springtime for Hitler
is boffo!

Bedazzled
The Devil is fiendishly clever

Next up:

Courtroom dramas with a twist

Witness for the Prosecution
Christine knew Leonard was [spoiler].

The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Ho-hum twist, but supposedly true.

Anatomy of a Murder
Twist more shocking at release.

NEXT: Movies without a twist, that were plenty good anyway.

The Godfather
Son assumes control of family.

Alien
Unwanted visitor aboard the Nostromo.

The Ring
Demon girl propagates through videotape.

Movies with plot lines left unresolved

Solo: A Star Wars Story
What about Han and Qi’ra?

Contact
Was it aliens or hoax?

Pride & Prejudice
Will Kitty and Mary marry?

Next up:

Movies that include, but aren’t really about, a wedding

Forrest Gump
Life’s a box of chocolates.

Bull Durham
Check out the X-rated cake.

Star Trek Nemesis
Remembered mostly for Data’s death.

New category:

Films about businesses

The Hudsucker Proxy
Sells their own stock short

Mystic Pizza
They need a good review

The Apartment
Jack Lemmon draws the line

Movies about the restaurant business specifically

Big Night
Two brothers’ restaurant is jeopardized

Scotland, PA
Macbeth
set in burger joint

The Founder
Ray Kroc both visionary, jerk

Next up:

Movies where the protagonist is deeply flawed but not evil