Five-Word Movie Review

Kill the Irishman
Cleveland mobster in the crosshairs

Alex Cross
Detroit detective hunts serial killer

Fargo
Only opening scene set there

Let’s keep it going!

More movies set in the Midwestern US, but not Chicago

Hoosiers
Classic ‘David versus Goliath’ tale

August: Osage County
We’re all just family, right?

The Bridges of Madison County
Iced tea and split atoms

Next: Movies set in the Southwest, but not Texas

Oklahoma!
Wind sweeping through the plain.

The Milagro Beanfield War
Misunderstanding leads to profound understanding.

Raising Arizona
They’ll never miss just one.

Movies filmed on literal locations that are not Los Angeles or NYC. (By “literal” location, I mean, Star Wars wouldn’t count-- it was filmed “on location” in Tunisia, because that is not a studio, but it is also not Tatooine, so it doesn’t count. It has to be filmed where it was in the movie’s context. And, if interior scenes are studio scenes, it still counts.)

You’re not making it easy with these specific requests, but here goes my replies:

Movies filmed on literal locations that are not Los Angeles or NYC.

Napoleon Dynamite
They shoot steer in Idaho

Drugstore Cowboy
Addicts roam streets of Portland

Mad Max
Max goes tearing around Melbourne

Next: Movies set mostly at sea

Does the ocean count?

Certainly.

Movies set mostly at sea

Down Periscope
“Frasier” plays a submarine captain.

Titanic
Good story about doomed liner.

The Caine Mutiny
“Captain Yellowstain” and the strawberries.

Next: Non-sports movies that take place at a university or college

Love Story
Handsome guy, beautiful girl: tragedy

Animal House
“Knowledge is Good,” ya know OR My advice: start drinking heavily

The Lords of Discipline
Military cadets learn hard lessons

Next up:

Movies about the military that (at least mostly) aren’t about combat

Sgt. Bilko
Steve Martin plays grifting sergeant.

An Officer and a Gentleman
Wannabe Navy officers in training.

Stripes
Basic training without an instructor?

Next:

Military movies that are about combat

All Quiet on the Western Front
First really good war picture

The Red Badge of Courage
The Civil War was hell

Saving Private Ryan
Had to watch the opening

Next: More military movies that are about combat

Glory
Black troops overcome huge obstacles

Paths of Glory
French Army a WWI mess

Stalingrad
German soldiers’ descent into hell

Next up:

“Nice” movies that aren’t twee

The Holdovers
Crusty teacher, unhappy student. Friends?

Breezy
Holden, Lenz, May-December situation.

Hidden Figures
Who’s really behind NASA trajectories?

Next:

More “nice” movies that aren’t twee

The Devil Wears Prada
And she flings her coats

Two Weeks Notice
Is she bobcat or pretzel?

When Harry Met Sally
I had what she’s having

Next: Romantic comedies

The Awful Truth
Is that they’re in love.

My Best Girl
Starring America’s Sweetheart, Mary Pickford.

Fish
Finally, not a coming-out story.

NEXT: Films about GBLTQ life that are not coming-out stories.

The Birdcage

Gay dads can’t hide sexuality.

Ma Vie en Rose

Trans girl navigates life, bigotry.

Philadelphia

AIDS patient hires bigoted lawyer.

More movies about the LGBTQ experience that aren’t about coming out.

Tea and Sympathy
This one’s about staying in!

Cruising
Pacino walks the wild side

Cabaret
Master of Ceremonies? A survivor.

Movies where the person we see naked and the person we WANT to see naked are two very different people

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Prefer naked Kunis over Segel

The Wolf of Wall Street
Prefer anyone over Jonah Hill

28 Days Later
Selena could’ve been nude, too!

Movies about European history

Amadeus
Young composer is ultra-talented buffoon

Waterloo
Wellington’s, Napoleon’s armies fatefully clash

Downfall
Source of a gazillion memes

Next up:

Other movies which have given rise to memes

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
You have my complete attention

LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring
One doesn’t walk into Mordor

Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood
Right there! That’s the one!

Next: More memes from movies

The Lord of the Rings
Gollum’s two faces got around!

Home Alone
Kevin reacts to aftershave… forever

Pirates of the Caribbean
Capt. Jack bemused at… everything

Next up:

Good pirate movies