Five-Word Movie Review

Blade Runner
Opinion: Theatrical cut is best.

Logan’s Run
Future utopia? Dystopia? Hopeful ending.

Silent Running
Forests in space. For real.

Next:

Hugh Grant Romcoms

Four Weddings and a Funeral
Grant’s kind of a dick

Bridget Jones’s Diary
Grant is really a dick

Two Weeks Notice
Grant is a younger Trump

Next: Hugh Grant in non-romcom roles

Privileged
His screen debut, in 1982

Cloud Atlas
Plays several roles (one scary)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Cameo as Benoit Blanc’s sweetie

Next up:

Favorite mysteries

The Ring

Yes, a mystery is unraveled.

Se7en

Seven Deadly Sins: Murder metaphors.

The Usual Suspects

Heist goes awry; unreliable narrator.

Movies Set in Eastern or Central Europe

A Serbian Film (Serbia)
You don’t want to know.

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (Romania)
Woman seeks an illegal abortion.

The Death of Mister Lazarescu (Romania)
Systemic neglect in nationalized healthcare.

Movies Set in Africa

District 9
Meet the Prawns, African style

Hotel Rwanda
Refugees check in, and survive

Hatari
Baby elephants walking! How cute!

Next: More movies set in Africa

Out of Africa
Aristocrat moves to Kenya, uh-oh.

Gorillas in the Mist
Life of famed primate researcher.

The Gods Must Be Crazy
Tribesman finds discarded Coke bottle.

Movies set in Australia/New Zealand

Quigley Down Under
Selleck carries a “super” rifle

The Man from Snowy River
Beautiful scenes of Australian landscapes

Crocodile Dundee
Got everyone saying “G’day, mate”

Next: Movies set behind the Iron Curtain

Good Bye, Lenin!
Concealing Communism’s collapse from Mom

The Lives of Others
Stasi agent is terrible nibnose

Bridge of Spies
Explores secret American, Soviet deals

Next up:

Spy comedies

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Spoof of James Bond films.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Fat Bastard enters the canon.

Austin Powers: In Goldmember
Star killed his career afterwards.

Earnest, non-Bond spy films

The Falcon and the Snowman
Teens pass secrets to Soviets

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The return of George Smiley

Ronin (1998)
De Niro’s caught between two factions

Next: Robert De Niro movies

Taxi Driver
Nutty cab driver, zany hijinks

Angel Heart
Don’t work for Mr. Cyphre!

Limitless
Plays smart, ruthless investment tycoon

Next up:

Movies about high finance

Trading Places
A swindle involving orange juice.

The Wolf of Wall Street
Sex, blow, money, the 80s.

Dumb Money
Reddit manipulates stock for lulz.

Movies where the characters are solidly lower middle class (but not desperately poor)

The Slums of Beverly Hills
Arkin leads family of hustlers

Napoleon Dynamite
Uncle Rico lives in van

Little Miss Sunshine
Get her to the pageant

Next: Rich kids’ lives

Cruel Intentions
Did she really offer anal?

Traffic
Additction affects rich people too.

Richie Rich
Not the best comics adaptation.

Comic book and graphic novel adaptations.

Tank Girl
Lori Petty cosplays steam punk

Hellboy
Demons and Nazis? Oh, my…

The Dark Knight
Batman turns gritty and dark

Next: The many reboots of Batman