Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
Sexploitation film of the Seventies.
Caged Heat
Demme doesn’t brag about it.
Chained Heat
Linda Blair, of all people!
Next: Mark Harmon movies.
Mark Harmon movies
Gibbs! The Man, The Legend
oops, sorry, not really real.
Justice League: Crisis on Two Worlds
Looks like a job for… SuperGibbs!
Chasing Liberty
Pres. Gibbs is overprotective dad.
Tuareg: The Desert Warrior
He’s rescued by the warrior.
Next: Movies set in Springtime.
Movies set in Springtime.
Scooby Doo
Fart and piss jokes galore!
Pirhana 3D
A remake that actually works.
Jeepers Creepers
Where’d you get those peepers?
Next: NC-17 films
NC-17 films
Henry & June
Some graphic sex, hence rating.
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
Guess what tastes like chicken?
L.I.E.
Old man tastes some chicken.
Next: Non-porn films that were rated X.
Non-porn films that were rated X:
Taxi Driver:
Jodi Foster as teen prostitute.
A Clockwork Orange:
Horrorshow romp; viddy it soon.
Fritz the Cat:
Animated film not for children!
Next: “Fish out of water” movies.
"Fish out of water" movies.
City Slickers
New Yawkers drive some cattle.
Private Benjamin
Goldie wanted the stylish army.
Grease
Aussie girl doesn’t fit in.
Next: The ouevre of Julie Andrews.
The ouevre of Julie Andrews.
Mary Poppins
Disney’s best live action movie.
The Princess Diaries
Can’t believe that’s Anne Hathaway.
10
Ravel’s Bolero becomes sex anthem.
Next: Films starring Sidney Poitier
Films starring Sidney Poitier
In the Heat of the Night
Mr. Tibbs, they call him.
Shoot to Kill
Which hiker is the killer?
Little Nikita
Your parents are spies, kid.
Next: River Phoenix movies
River Phoenix movies
Stand By Me
A story by Stephen King.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Much too lighthearted and goofy.
Sneakers
Computer caper set in 60’s.
Next: Movies penned by Shane Black
Lethal Weapon
Mismatched cops take on crime.
Last Action Hero
Even Ahnuld fans disliked it.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Seriously underrated buddy action movie.
Next: The future Nancy Reagan’s movies.
The future Nancy Reagan’s movies:
Hellcats of the Navy:
With Ronnie, submarine adventure flick.
Donovan’s Brain:
Millionaire dies, brain does not.
The Next Voice You Hear…
God speaks on the radio.
Next: Disney live-action films.
Disney live-action films.
The Cat From Outer Space
Alien cat wants your gold
The Black Hole
First Disney film rated PG.
Bridge to Terabithia
Watching today…no spoilers, please!
Next: Traditional (non-CGI) animated films.
Bambi
A little deer makes friends.
Snow White
Too damn many dwarves, yo.
Dumbo
Flying elephant wows circus crowd.
Next: Non-James Bond spy movies.
Non-James Bond spy movies.
*The Silencers/I]
Dean Martin’s not James Bond.
Our Man Flint
James Coburn’s not James Bond.
The Nude Bomb
Maxwell Smart’s not Bond either.
Next: Mad scientist movies.
Mad scientist movies.
Back to the Future
Almost 2015…where’s my hoverboard???
12 Monkeys
Young Cole witnesses his death.
Young Frankenstein
Werewolf? There, wolf. There, castle.
Next: Movies about the end of the world.
Movies about the end of the world.
Kiss Me Deadly
Strangely, the alternate ending’s better.
Knowing
How Alex Proyas has fallen.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Paradoxes can’t ruin this classic.
Next: Cult films from 1985
Brazil
Commando plumber is simply awesome.
Ladyhawke
Star-crossed lovers helped by boy.
Come and See
WWII insurgency very very unpleasant.
Next: Julia Ormond movies.
Julia Ormond movies
Sabrina
1995 was a good year.
or
Harrison Ford falls for Julia.
Smilla’s Feeling For Snow
1995 was a good year.
or
Julia solves a bizarre mystery.
First Knight
1995 was a good year.
or
Julia is the faithless queen.
Next: Non-Bond Sean Connery films.
non-Bond Connery films
Darby OGill and the Little People
As Irish as Paddy’s pig
the Untouchables
Ness’s deep-dish Chicago mess
**Hunt for Red October **
Cold War goes sub-zero
Next: Kevin Costner films
Kevin Costner films
No Way Out
“Who’s Yuri? Oh…it’s me.”
Dances with Wolves
“Where’s buffalo? Oh…over there.”
Thirteen Days
“Get dem nukes outta here!”
Next: Gene Hackman films.