Five-Word Movie Review

James Marsden movies

X-Men 2: Poor James loses the girl

Superman Returns: Poor James loses the girl

The Notebook: Poor James loses the girl

Next: Black and white films from well after the advent of color film

Black and white films from well after the advent of color film:

Schindler’s List:
Spielberg’s somber, gripping Holocaust film.

Young Frankenstein:
Looks like original; more laughs.

The Elephant Man:
“I am a human being!”

Next: Movies with the word “cat” somewhere in the title.

** Movies with the word “cat” somewhere in the title.**

Cat Ballou
Lee Marvin & his evil twin.

The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing
Wife leaves, joins with outlaws.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
Liz at Maggie the Cat.

Next: Movies with the word “American” somewhere in the title.

**Movies with the word “American” somewhere in the title. **

American History X
Tyler Durden curb stomps negro

American Pie
Dorks trying to get laid

American Hustle
Not in American Psycho shape!

Next: Submarine films.

Submarine films

Das Boot: Pressure cooker of subsurface stress.

Crimson Tide: The trailer told you everything.

The Hunt for Red October: Cast elevated a mediocre script.

Next: Movies with a child (<18) lead actor/actress.

Das Boot
German submariners suffer and lose.

Crimson Tide
Don’t launch nukes unless *certain.

Ice Station Zebra*
Reclusive Howard Hughes’s favorite movie.

Next: Movies with a child (<18) lead actor/actress.

Movies with a child (<18) lead actor/actress.
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Paper Moon
Youngest Oscar win, still record.

Home Alone
Most annoying actor, still record.

Ender’s Game
Playing video games saves Earth!

Next: Movies with an eldery (70+) lead actor/actress.

Movies with an elderly (70+) lead actor/actress:

Oh, God:
Burns shines, Denver clearly uncomfortable.

Grumpier Old Men:
Matthau, Lemmon again; laughs aplenty.

Cars:
Paul Newman’s the wise mentor.

Next: Gene Wilder movies.

Gene Wilder movies.

Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother
Fun with Marty and Madeleine.

Haunted Honeymoon
Dom and Gilda, but dull.

The Little Prince
He plays the tamed fox.
Next: Movies with the word or number 3 in the title.

Movies with the word or number 3 in the title

Killers Three
THE Dick Clark stars. Honest!

The Three Musketeers
Take your pick; 25+ versions

Jaws 3-D
Bad shark, bad FX, BAD!
Next: Amy Irving movies

Honeysuckle Rose
She dated Willie after filming.
*
Yentl*
Jewish woman has unusual “husband.”

Crossing Delancey
That pickle guy’s the one.

Next: Ava Gardner movies

Ava Gardner movies

The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
She’s Paul Newman’s fantasy girl.

Show Boat
Singing! Dancing! Color! Characters! Plot!

The Blue Bird
Russian-American collaboration: movie bombed.
Next: Bette Davis movies

Bette Davis movies:

Pocketful of Miracles:
She’s “Lady for a Day.”

The Petrified Forest:
Bogart stars, but Davis shines.

All About Eve:
Character study; Davis, Baxter clash.

Next: Gary Sinese movies.

Gary Sinese movies.

A Midnight Clear
Can Yanks, Nazis get along?

Of Mice and Men
I’m gonna name it George.

Ransom
Tight thriller until the ending

Next: Movies featuring military aircraft

Movies featuring military aircraft

Air Force One
The kidnap the President’s daughter.

Operation Dumbo Drop
Helping an elephant go home.

The Last Flight of Noah’s Ark
A real bomber for Disney.
Next: Movies you’ve seen more than six times.

**Movies you’ve seen more than six times. **

Spaced Invaders
Goofball aliens invade on Halloween

The Package
Nice but outdated political thriller

Star Wars
Hero’s journey built an Empire

Next: I like this one, **Movies you’ve seen more than six times. **

**Movies you’ve seen more than six times.
**
Terminator 2: Judgment Day

More like six thousand times.

The Empire Strikes Back

Most entertaining Star Wars film.

Do the Right Thing

Has never stopped being relevant.

Next: Movies you’ve only seen once

Movies you’ve only seen once

Quest For Fire
I’m sorry I saw it once.

Frozen
With Olaf the funny snowman!

Hawmps
Camels in the American military.
Next: Moves with Death in the title.

Moves with Death in the title.

Game of Death

Bruce Lee didn’t deserve this.

Death Note

CGI Ryuk was laughably bad.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Two films mean more money.

Next: 70’s James Earl Jones Films.

70’s James Earl Jones Films:

The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings:
Baseball team barnstorms through Midwest.

Star Wars:
Uncredited voice of Darth Vader.

The Greatest:
Ali biopic. Jones? Malcolm X.

Next: Films that take place all or partially in London.