Five-Word Movie Review

Movies with the letter “X” somewhere in the title.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Logan’s a bicentenarian? Ummm…okay. :dubious:

Malcolm X
Denzel’s performance is an all-timer.

American History X
Norton’s intensity saves hackneyed plot.

Next: Movies with titles of five or more words, but no colons.

The 4 Adventures of Reinette and Mirabelle
Rohmer’s “city mouse, country mouse.”

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Queens of the desert, really.

One Sings, the Other Doesn’t
Scores high on Bechdel test.
Next: Sequels that measured up to the original (cannot mention Star Wars movies)

Sequels that measured up to the original.

The Godfather, Part II
Arguably greater than the first.

X-Men: First Class
Entire series is rock solid.

Terminator 2
Different, but equally riveting sequel.

Next: Sequels so awful they don’t deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the original. (still no Star Wars)

Highlander 2
This movie should not exist.

Batman and Robin
It killed the Batman franchise.

Superman Returns
Even I couldn’t watch it.

Next: ** Movies whose titles are a man’s name.**

Hamlet
Indecisive Danish prince causes bloodbath.

Billy Jack
Honestly, I didn’t understand this.

Charly
Retarded guy gets smart then…

Next: Movies where one of the leading actors had the same first name as the character portrayed.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
John Cusack was John Kelso.

Hunter’s Blood
Billy Bob played Billy Bob.

Her
Amy Adams appeared as… Amy!

Next: Yeardley Smith films

The Simpsons Movie
Everybody knows she’s Lisa Simpson.

Jingle All The Way
Uncredited role: she’s a flirt.

Toys
Opposite late, great Robin Williams.
Next: I Was A… flicks

I was a Male War Bride
Based on true story-- really!

I was a Teenaged Werewolf
With a teenaged Michael Landon.

I was a Teenaged Feminist
Feminist is the new F-word.
Next: Movies for which Dorothy Parker has a writing credit.

Remodeling Her Husband
Silent - she wrote the titles.

A Star Is Born (1937)
Source of many, many remakes.

The Little Foxes
Additional scenes and added dialogue.
Next: George S. Kaufman non-Marx Brothers movies

Dinner At Eight
Stomach pump, ambulance at nine.

Stage Door
Where is it, anyway, pal?

You Can’t Take It With You
You’re not boss of me!

Next: Grace Zabriskie films

Bob Funk
“Amazing Grace” played Mrs. Funk.

Brothel
She played the Madam here.

R.S.V.P.
Here she played Mrs. Franklin.
Next: Movies with angels.

Movies with angels.

X-Men: The Last Stand
Cameo? Teaser? Got zero dialogue.

It’s A Wonderful Life
Clarence averts suicide, earns wings!

Constantine
“Whoa, duuuuuuuuuuuuuude!”: Keanu sees angels

Next: Movies starring (current or former) pro athletes

Movies starring (current or former) pro athletes

Airplane!
Roger, Roger. What’s vector, Victor?

The Naked Gun (series)
O.J. hadn’t murdered anyone yet.

They Live
Pro wrestling’s a sport, right?

Next: More movies starring (current or former) pro athletes

More movies starring (current or former) pro athletes

Guardians of the Galaxy
Wrestler Drax: “I catch it!”

Blazing Saddles
Pawn in game of life

The Dirty Dozen
Brown murders 100 yard dash

Next: Movie starring current or former military people (includes actors who left acting to serve)

**Movie starring current or former military people (includes actors who left acting to serve) **

To Hell and Back
Audie Murphy portrays hero (himself!)

The Spirit of St. Louis
Jimmy Stewart knows about flying

McHale’s Navy
Brian Haley wasn’t a squid!

Next: **More movies starring current or former military people (includes actors who left acting to serve)
**

The Best Years of Our Lives
No, that wasn’t special effects.

Hellcats of the Navy
Reagan assured us USO counts.

GI Blues
Being a draft non-dodger counts.

Next: Hollywood movies [excluding silents] starring actors who didn’t learn English until late adolescence or adulthood.

Hollywood movies [excluding silents] starring actors who didn’t learn English until late adolescence or adulthood.

Challenging category! I’m limiting myself to one Schwartzenegger movie, and focusing on the Hollywood part.

Conan the Barbarian (Arnold Schwartzenegger)
Crushed enemies, Voo-man’s tears - Bestest!

Fools Rush In (Salma Hayek)
Light Hollywood debut for Salma
The World is Not Enough (Sophie Marceau)
Spoiler: Kidnap victim becomes mastermind

I was going to post Fahrenheit 451, where the director, writer and leading man did not speak English (I read somewhere that Oskar Werner learned his lines phonetically), but it wasn’t a Hollywood production.

Then I was going to post Shoes of the Fisherman, but Oskar Werner didn’t star, and star Anthony Quinn lived in LA as a child, so I presume was fluent in English before adolescence.

Next: Anthony Quinn movies

Road to Singapore
Bing & Bob vs. Anthony.

Road to Morocco
Bing & Bob win again.

Barabbas
Well acted, but way long.
Next: Movies of Myrna Loy.

Gosh, no Bergmans, Boyers, or Garbos!

The Jazz Singer
Uncredited girl in the chorus.

Thirteen Women
Defeated by Irene Dunne’s goodness.

The Thin Man
Finally! she’s a big star!
Next: Ernst Lubitsch films

The Merry Widow
Maurice Chevalier and Jeanette Macdonald

Ninotchka
Greta Garbo as Parisian courtesan

To Be Or Not To Be
Jack Benny, not Mel Brooks
Next: Helen Mirren films