Five-Word Movie Review

Phallus in Wonderland
Gwar fights the Morality Squad

Student Bodies
Horsehead bookends and murdered teenagers

Deathgasm
Kiwi Metalheads battle blood vomiters
Next up: terrible Roland Emmerich movies (which is to say ANY Roland Emmerich movie)

Independence Day
Ridiculous plot; awesome special effects.

Godzilla
Matthew Broderick appropriately looks embarrassed.

Stonewall
Gay rights tale widely panned.

Next: Movies set in whole or in part at political conventions.

I had trouble finding three I’ve seen, so had to use a TV movie.

Pursuit (TV movie)
Terrorist plans to gas convention.

Gonzo Music Diaries, NYC (documentary)
Music festival is RNC protest.

The Best Man (1964)
Rivals compete for president’s endorsement.
Next: movies not involving politics in any way whatsoever.

Dark City
Hunted man realizes true potential.

Liquid Sky
Awful, awful Eighties punk flick.

Finding Dory
Snarky octopus gets best lines.

Next: Movies in whole or in part about non-U.S. politics.

The Queen
The funeral of an ex-royal.

Frantic
Lots of French underworld characters.

Europa, Europa
Hiding in sight, from Hitler.
Next: Movies where a national anthem (of any country) is played.

Casablanca
Stirring rendition of French anthem.

First Family
American, Upper Gorm anthems played.

The Hunt for Red October
Song for country now gone.

Next: Movies roles of Donald J. Trump.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Has a cameo as himself.

54
VIP in film about nightclub.

The Little Rascals
Played a dad of rascal.
Next: movies where someone is missing for most of film.

Laura
She’s dead - no, she isn’t!

Se7en
Villain makes dramatic late appearance.

Dogma
God talked about; finally appears.

Next: Movies where a character is in virtually every scene

Memento
Leonard either visible or narrating.

Rope
Brandon & Phillip dominate screen.

The Big Sleep
Bogart’s character is always there.
Next: Films where the director plays a character in the movie (an actual character with lines, not a simple Hitchcock-type cameo). Doesn’t have to be the star, though.

The Sixth Sense
M. Night plays concerned doctor.

The Village
M. Night plays bored guard.

The Last Airbender
M. Night plays camp dude.

Next: Movies in which the main character wears a red necktie.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Gryffindor tie red, gold striped.

The Cat in the Hat
Cat has a red tie.

Mary Poppins
Mary sports tiny bow tie.
Next: The non sequitur prize: three movies with nothing whatsoever in common.

Three favorites of mine with nothing whatsoever in common.

The Hidden
Alien criminal on the town.

Breaker Morant
Three Aussie officers get railroaded.

Pride & Prejudice
Knightley luminous in Regency romance.

Next: Three movies that you wouldn’t expect to have something in common, but they do.

Frankenstein
Mel Brooks’ parody: Young Frankenstein

Vertigo
Mel Brooks’ parody: High Anxiety

Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves
Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Next: Movies with music by Danny Elfman.

But if they are all among your favorite movies, then they have that in common, right?

Oz the Great and Powerful
How wicked witch got wicked.

Hitchcock
About the making of Psycho.

Milk
Biopic is a great tribute.
Next: movies about a scheme that backfires.

LOL. OK, I’ll give you that.

In play: movies about a scheme that backfires.

Mission: Impossible
First mission goes badly awry.

The Limey
Killing his daughter? Bad idea.

Notorious
Nazis’ nuke plan foiled - hooray!

In play: Heist movies where everything goes pretty much as planned.

Ocean’s Eleven
Personally, I don’t like remake.

How to Steal a Million
Successful heist is a set-up.

The Pursuit of D. B. Cooper
Spoiler: They don’t catch him.
Next: Movies about people living while hiding from the police. (In other words, people pursued for months or years, not just a few days.)

A History of Violence
Former thug builds new life.

The Company You Keep
Redford plays aging Sixties radical.

Flashback
Burnout, cop in road movie.

Next: Movies in which a dog dies.

Single White Female
Not just dog-- a PUPPY!

Old Yeller
“Sick, doggie snuff film!” --Pheobe.

Turner and Hooch
Another sick, doggie snuff film.
Next: Movies where dogs are loved and happy (at least by the end).

Independence Day
…and he can outrun fireballs!

Up
Dug is dumb, adorable, beloved.

Airplane!
Shep really likes airline guy: Airplane! funny dog scene - YouTube

Next: Other movies in which Airplane! stars appeared (one each).