Five-Word Movie Review

The Uninvited
Still-unrivaled ghost story; 0 gore.

Night of the Demon
2% scary demon, 98% creepiness.

The Blair Witch Project
Least gory film of late.

Next: movies with a major character who is HIV positive.

Philadelphia
Gay lawyer ennobled by illness

Angels in America
Healthy, sick, Cohn still scumbag

Rent
Wickedly spoofed in Team America

Next: Movies about diplomats

Four Days in September
American Brazilian ambassador is kidnapped

Diplomacy
Plot to destroy Parisian landmarks.

External Affairs
Canadian ambassador implicated in crime.
Next: movies involving giants bugs (using the term “bug” in the vernacular-- any little creepy-crawly is fine).

Starship Troopers
Earth troops lacked powered armor

Eight Legged Freaks
Amazingly, won no Academy Awards

The Deadly Mantis
MST3K dinged this horror flick

Next: Movies about scary clowns

It
Possibly most iconic TV-movie image.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Space aliens look like clowns.

Unlicensed Cemetery: The John Wayne Gacy Murders
Gacy documentary with “Pogo” footage.
Next: Movies where someone steps into, or out of, a movie, painting, or mirror.

The Purple Rose of Cairo
Like your martini very dry?

*Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
*Portrait denizens try to flee

Sinister
You see monster seeing you

Next: Delightful love stories

My Best Girl
Sweet picture from America’s Sweetheart

You Can’t Take It with You
Strait-laced boy; girl’s eccentric family.

Ninotchka
Garbo laughs! and loves, deeply.
Next: films with the word “Cat” in the title.

Cat Ballou
Jane Fonda - sexy Western outlaw

That Darn Cat
Typical Disney feline fodder film

The Truth About Cats And Dogs
Janeane Garofalo in romantic comedy
Next: films with the word “Dog” in the title

Dogma
Kevin Smith makes religion fun

Straw Dogs
Rapey commercial for the NRA

Dog Day Afternoon
ATTICA ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!

*Must Love Dogs *
You’ve Got Mail is better

**Next: **Films about math or mathamaticians.

mathematicians…

Stand and Deliver
Dropout-type students pass Calculus test.

21
MIT students count casino cards.

Pi
Mathematician obsessed with mathematical constant.
Next: movies about writing and writers.

Remember, msmith537, just three movies.

Movies about writing and writers

Barton Fink
Writer trapped in hellish hotel.

The Door in the Floor
Writer mourns sons; wife cheats.

Shadowlands
Writer mourns wife, finds hope.

Next: Movies about or set in libraries.

The Music Man
One indoor set is library.

Bookies
Main character works in library.

Desk Set
Katherine Hepburn runs reference department.

Next*: movies where family has twins.

*Legally Blondes *
Reece avoids dumb DVD sequel

The Parent Trap
Twins create mistaken identity hijinks

It Takes Two
Olsen Twins bastardize Twain classic
**Next: **Films that take place almost entirely on a train.

The Lady Vanishes
Hitchcocks last great British film.

Murder on the Orient Express
Christie dubbed “Best Christie film.”

Runaway Train
Escaped convicts; no brakes, driver.
Next: films about out-of-control vehicles.

Silver Streak
Gene and Richard stop train.

Speed
Don’t slow the bus down.

The Love Bug
Early AI car drives itself.
Next: The films of Jaimie Alexander.

Squirrel Trap
Her screen debut, in 2004

Thor
Played a curvy, ornery Sif

Savannah
Character married to drunken Southerner

Next: Movies about road trips

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
On my top 10 list.

Thelma and Louise
I didn’t like the ending.

Easy Rider
Another shocking ending, with message.
Next: movies where at least one main character is a nun (a real nun, not someone hiding out).

Change of Habit
Moore, Presley in Sixties melodrama

Doubt
Streep excellent as steely nun

Lilies of the Field
Poitier helps out German nuns

Next: Other Sidney Poitier films

A Patch of Blue
Without book’s twist, still works.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
Stale soon as was released.

In the Heat of the Night
This one still holds up.
Next: more movies that inspired TV shows (but not the other way around).