Five-Word Movie Review

Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?
Dustin Hoffman in pretentious mess.

“Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines, or How I Flew from London to Paris in 25 Hours 11 Minutes”
They go uppity up up.

  • Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 2: In Shocking 2-D*
    Well, that can’t be good.
    Next: Even more movies with excessively long titles.

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent
Title spoils most of film.

Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Peter Sellers in Multiple Roles.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex but were afraid to ask
Woody Allen and mod life.
Next: movies with one-word titles.

She
Ursula Andress must be obeyed.

Them
Giant ants must be conquered.

Carrie
Prom night: high school “hijinks”
Next: Non-animated films with mice featured notably.

And nobody even mentioned Precious: Base on Nol by Saf (Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire)!

Movies with one-word titles

Casablanca
Rick must do what’s right

Up
Coot, Scout have grand adventure

Milk
Gay politician fights good fight

Next: Non-animated films with mice featured notably

The Witches
Child is turned into mouse.

Alice in Wonderland (1933)
Live-action. Actor plays mouse.

The Hoodlum
Mary Pickford fears street mice.
Next: movies that have absolutely no mice in them.

Star Wars
Kessel Run reference intrigues many

All the King’s Men
Willie Stark’s rise and fall

Liquid Sky
Gawdawful Eighties punk sf turkey

Next: Movies that really need a good sequel

Murder by Decree
More Plummer as Sherlock Holmes.

Rear Window
Photographer, Grace Kelly, further adventures.

The Miracle Worker
Need adult Keller quality movie.

**
Next**: more movies that need a really good sequel.

The Incredibles
Parrs deserve cool new adventures

Serenity
What’s up with Firefly crew?

Trading Places
Let’s see tycoons’ next chapter

Next: Movies about high finance

The Big Short
Cashing in on housing crash
*
The Smartest Guys in the Room*
Rise and fall of Enron
*
The Wolf of Wall Street*
Hookers, blow, and penny stocks
Next:
Movie’s with five word titles

Murder on the Orient Express
Based on Agatha Christie novel.

The Birth of a Nation
DW Griffith causes an uproar.

Children of a Lesser god
Title taken from Tennyson poem.

Next: movies starring actors primarily famous for television work (at the time, anyway).

If I didn’t make it clear, this is a pretty loose topic. You could post Splash, Tom Hanks’ first starring film role, because before that, he had done almost all TV work-- he had one minor role in a mostly straight to video movie before his TV work. You could post one of Lucille Ball’s film roles that she did after becoming wildly famous for TV. She had had a career in film before TV, but it was usually playing someone’s bitchy understudy who panics if she actually has to go on, or some pseudo-Katharine Hepburn mess. Until she got to do comedy, she hadn’t found herself. After TV, she made a few pretty successful movies, that she helped develop.

And then, the movies don’t have to be good, so there is the rich vein of SNL actor movies, plus all the stuff the Friends cast did, both good and bad.

Animal House
Belushi’s breakout role - freakin’ hilarious!

Down Periscope
Grammer in forgettable submarine “comedy”

Die Hard
Willis transformed into action hero

Next: Other Bruce Willis films

The Sixth Sense
I see the ending coming.

Mortal Thoughts
He makes excellent asshole husband.

Sunset
Setting: first Oscars; comedy murder.
Next: movies with “box” or “boxing” in the title.

Boxing Helena
Movie about very weird fetish

Boxing Day
Troubled family in Australian film

The Box
Cameron Diaz thriller bombed badly

Next: Superhero spoofs

Rat Pfink a Boo Boo
Typo resulted in memorable title.

The Lego Batman Movie
Also the best Batman movie.

Hero at Large
Actor stops crime in costume.
Next: serious movies that should have been comedies.

Plan Nine From Outer Space
Well, it was intended seriously…

Memento
Great movie; real comedic potential

Code of Honor
Seagal impossible to take seriously

Next: comedies that should have been serious movies

The Hot Chick
The movie needs something different.

Forrest Gump
Making fun of dumb people?

The Hottie and the Nottie
Was serious film in 1918*.
Next: films of Mary Pickford.
*Stella Maris, starring Mary Pickford. Not a great film, but a pretty darned good one.

The Taming of the Shrew
Who’d believe a shrewish Mary?

The Little Princess
Shirley Temple did it better.

The Eagle’s Mate
Anemone Breckenridge’s a great name.
Next: Movies you should see if only for the costumes

Alice in Wonderland (1933)
Paramount’s odd film got panned.

King Kong (1976)
Baker costume only good thing.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Great film with great costumes.
Next: bad to mediocre films worth seeing for one good performance.

Did I make that too hard? I’ll do it:

Eleni
Almost ruined Kate Nelligan’s career.

King Kong (1976)
Rick Baker great as Kong

Alien 3
Weaver is same old Ripley.
Next: non sequitur redux: three more films with nothing in common.