Flashlight on Uzbekistan: Land of Contrasts

The BBQ Pit
1

Glad news from Uzbekistan! Our staunch ally has finally achieved security independence, in no small part due to the unstinting generosity of the American people. American military personnel will not longer be required to protect this burgeoning democracy, and they are expected to be redeployed in six months or less! (How many will be saddened to leave the very cradle of Caucasian culture, it would be hard to say…) This brisk progress underlines the success of the Bush Putsch, to impress democracy on the ignorant and, heretofore, unwilling.

Needless to say, Uzbekistan’s daunting pace only emphasizes the ambition and optimism of America’s efforts in Eurasia, as Uzbekistan might now be expected to match the blistering pace toward democracy of her cordial rival, Pakistan.

Blushingly modest as always, Bushiviks are not inclined to even discuss these breathtaking achievements, ever mindful of the demure and delicate Uzbek sensibility. (Uzbekistan, located strategicly next to the rectum of Eurasia exports primarily jute, yak dung and refugees and imports military equipment, domestic security equipment, and money.)

Speaking on super-secret double summer background the Under Assistant Deputy for Eurasian Affairs, who insisted on remaining anonymous, confirmed these glowing reports.

“Uzbekistan is progressing very well indeed, recent elections have been conducted with all the vigorous enthusiasm one can expect from such enthusiastic, but inexperienced, an electorate.”

He related how the sprightly and whimsical Uxbek people emulated Iraq’s colorful symbol of nascent democracy, the “purple index finger” with a colorful and uniquely characteristic bit of popular symbolism: the Uzbek democratic activist will frequently have a bright splotch of red somewhere on their person. Commonly, they will clutch these crimson splashes of freedom with one hand, while hoarsely shouting thier democratic enthusiasm.

Beam with pride America! Behold what enthusiasm, a “can do!” entrepreneurial attitude, and a humongous shitload of money can accomplish, to impress democratic institutions on a malleable people. Uzbekistan can “leave the eagle’s nest”, a fledgling and grateful democracy is taking flight!

Mission Accomplished, Mr. President! Well done! Freedom is on the march!

2

I’m not sure I understand this. Are you angry because the U.S. government is overlooking human rights abuses of the Uzbecki government, because the article you linked to seems to indicate the opposite is happening. We’re being kicked out because we won’t overlook their abuses.

3

Naw, I take it as a rant about the US pouring umpteen million dollars in financial and weapons aid into a repressive backwater run by corrupt thugs, under the rubric of bringing freedom and democracy to a regime that doesn’t want it, thankyouverymuch. And now, the big payoff for all we’ve handed over to them is to be kicked out of the one thing that actually has any worth for the US: “an air base that has been a hub for operations in Afghanistan,” as the linked article states.

4

Thud.

5

Ding!

6

So why dincha just say so, ya old bat? :stuck_out_tongue:

7

Too bad you missed this year’s tour of the “land of contrasts”. It must have been exciting, coming as it did within days of the, some say CIA sponsored, riots in Andijan. Mark your calender now, so you can be assured a place, next year in Tashkent!

8

Have pity, folks!

He was just overwhelmed with the news that certain intellectual vacancy opened. He’ll be all right soon. He’s not as bad as R…r.

9

Huh? I thought you were the one who’d taken Brutus’s slot in the TO.

:dubious:

10

Well, as sometimes happens when a naive young thread sets out on the perilous journey across the desolate Pit, a shadow: overhead, soaring and circling, New Iskander, the Thread Killer. The wind whispers bleak: “Get your affairs in order, your hour is nigh. Today you are about politics, tomorrow, you are about the unceasing wonder that is New Iskander, his insights, his brilliance. Doom. Doom. Doom.”

11

Don’t worry. We are in good hands.

[/quote]
Anticipating eviction by Uzbekistan, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld won pledges from Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan last week to let the United States continue using airfields there for operations in Afghanistan.
Kyrgyzstan does not border Afghanistan, and Tajikistan’s roads into the country are poor, but Rumsfeld expressed optimism that those more distant bases would be adequate should Uzbekistan carry through on its threat to evict U.S. forces.
“We’re always thinking ahead. We’ll be fine,” Rumsfeld said on a tour of Central Asia.
[/quote]

See? Mr. Rumsfeld says we’ll be fine. Whew. All better.

12

So why exactly are you pissed off at the Bushies for getting us kicked out of Uzbeckistan? Because they granted safety to victims of an oppressive regime?

13

They didn’t become an oppressive regime last week.

“Oppressive regime” doesn’t count for much next to short-term strategic concerns.

Karimov’s thugs were much more zealous about suppressing dissent than Saddam’s Sunni-boys were at the start of the war. It wasn’t some obscure secret. Now, they’re 800 million dollars up on the deal, and their military is that much stronger.

Making alliances with and supporting murdering bastards in that region to gain advantage over current enemies didn’t pan out so well for past administrations, either.

This is how the whole dying show stays on the road.

The complaint isn’t that the alliance didn’t hold – it’s that it was made in the first place, since anyone capable of seeing past the end of their nose would peg it as a bad idea.

14

I see your point and recognize how it applies. However, this board still has a reference to “fighting ignorance” prominently displayed at the top of each page. Calling Uzbekistan “the very cradle of Caucasian culture” deserves a copious penance. So far you getting off too easy.

15

Incidentally, what is your opinion on how well Bush is pursuing Osama?

16

Who?

17

That’s a fair point, NI. It would be nice if Denmark bordered Afghanistan, since it’s awfully hard to find a squeaky-clean ally in the region. That being said, the Tajiks have been (relatively) making all the right moves, and the immediate aim of taking out the Talibs and securing Bagram as a base of operations could have been done just as easily from Kulyab. Nothing is black-and-white, but in the long term, it would make more sense to work with governments that can be shown to be making human-rights concessions than ones that are relcalcitrant in their despotism. The use of Kulyab was on the table from the beginning, and was considered, but the choice was made to bet on Uzbekistan and go with Karshi-Kanabad. A poor ethical choice, and, as it turns out, a poor practical choice as well.

If the object was to get Usama, it could been better achieved by (incidentally) making sensible foreign policy decisions regarding strategic alliances, and (more importantly) dedicating appropriate military force and attention to that task, instead of pouring nearly everything into the Iraq fiasco.

18

Thanks for the reasoned argument, LM.

Can say no more here in fear of elucidator accusing me of existing, drawing breath and wasting cyberspace.

19

Uh, okay.

Cheers, then.

(Why do I feel suddenly disoriented?) :wink: