A farting horse will never tire. The farting man is the one to hire.
I fart at work sometimes… it’s sad but I try not to.
Work?
Try deploying on a Navy ship sometime. Something in the food brings out the flatulence in everyone. Nothing like 4000 people stuck in a ship, all with gas. The good part is that by week 3, you basically don’t notice anymore. The bad part is that after you get home, you let 'em rip everywhere, since that is what you are used to doing…
I find farts hilarious, like any good perpetual 8 year old.* But if I was on that flight and a bunch of a-holes** I don’t know decide to make this small enclosed space into a fart factory? Holy shit, I would plot all of your murders.
- No snark there! I’m sincere!
** Both figurative AND literal!
What a coincidence. I work at farts sometimes!
They sat around the office for a couple of days prior to the flight exchanging notes on what types of food produces the most gas, and debated how many hours prior to the flight to eat which food.
I remember one of them talking about those sugar cookies they have at Christmas, and where to find them in the summer.
I also remember seeing the flight attendant react to the smell when pushing the beverage cart down the aisle.
Please tell me you work at a kennel.
If not, what kind of “far-out” groovy tie-dyed business is cool with having six dogs hang out at the shop all day?
I’m guessing something related to hemp, right?
I’m in an office far removed from other people so I can sit here and toot to my heart’s content.
No hemp. I prefer cannabis bred for other purposes, but I keep that separate from my business.
When I started my business i was spending 12 hours at work each day (I’m currently down to 5). The business is in a rural location on a large piece of property so I fenced in a large area with chain link. My dogs are extremely well trained and a pleasure to be around, IMO. I’m pretty certain that I’ve gained about as much business as I’ve lost due to the dogs. When I hire I’m clear that there are always dogs on the premises.
Works for me.
As a pregnant lady, I have decided to pretend that nobody notices.
(Actually, I haven’t been farting much. Now burping… I mean, I make amazing burps these days and there’s really nothing I can do about it. And I work in a very large quiet workroom. Sorry.)
So now that there are women at sea, does that change things, or do the women just cut loose alongside the men?
I worked in the back of a radio truck with my co-worker who had spent the evening drinking draft beer and eating hot wings.
I eventually opened the door. The cold Shilo-in-November-wind was better than that smell!
Signals, huh? Go Jimmy.
I am not always flatulant at work, but when I am, I ensure its in the elevator right before I get off…
Reminds me of an old joke with the punchline, “Damn, lady, smells like somebody’s been shitting Christmas trees.”
ETA: see http://www.evula.com/jokes/air_freshener.html for a similar one…
That Creatine guy would often unleash his stench in elevators, I was always reluctant to get on an elevator with him.
I got revenge on him by soaking a paper towel in the juice from a sardine can, and then hiding it in the modular furniture of his workstation.
I had a guy in the cubicle next to me for years who was a non-stop burp machine. He’s in an office now so I don’t have to put up with it anymore. In hindsight I guess I should be glad it was just burping.
I am reliably informed that it is better to burp and taste it.
“I am the one who farts.” [/Walter White]