That was my thought, too. 
ETA: I looked at the article. Cherish Lily Periwinkle? Anyway I was made pretty uncomfortable by all of the pictures of her. Look at this lovely young smiling girl, she’s dead! She will never grow older than this, she’s dead! Look at her so happy, she’s dead!
It’s not like we’re looking for her so we need to get this picture out. It’s kind of gross.
Bolding mine. No. It’s not about what she does or doesn’t deserve. Her surviving children deserve a better caregiver. If that further kicks the mother when she’s down, I’m sorry, but their right to a more-or-less safe childhood trumps her feelings.
I sincerely believe that this woman is not fit to parent any children, so, yes, her other two children ***should ***be taken away. I’m not saying she should never be allowed to see them ever again, but she should not have custody or be making the primary day-to-day decisions about their lives anymore.
I don’t subscribe to the stranger danger nonsense. I allowed my child to explore our city on her own from the time she was 9. (with proper guidance, instructions, maps, tips and pre-explorations with me and dad). She knew the warning signs of trouble and how to react in the unlikely event it should occur, which it never did. I gave her triple the warnings and instructions when it came to people she knows (friends and family, camp counselors and teachers).
She never seemed to have any troubles of that nature at all, but she was prepared, and she was prepared without having stranger danger battered into her head. I will get in the car with a stranger if I think I need to, and I have in the past when I needed to.
All of that being said, there were too many warning signs in place for this mother to be excused. Her gullibility left her children vulnerable, and I wouldn’t trust someone that naive to keep the other children safe.
One morning it was freaking cold. It was too cold to walk to work, and the bus would not hurry up and come like it was supposed to. I felt like I was five minutes away from succumbing to hypothermia and then this lady pulled up in her van. She didn’t know me and I didn’t know her. But when she asked if I wanted a ride, I jumped in.
I told someone at work what I had done. I had gotten a ride in a strange woman’s van?! Didn’t I know how badly that could have turned out?!
I hadn’t made a complete risk assessment in my head before jumping in the car, but I realized it was risky; hence why I don’t do that kind of thing every day (actually that was the first and only time I’ve felt compelled to do it). But circumstances made me take a chance. The outcome was that I arrived to work on time with all my toes and fingers intact. In addition to being someone’s next murder victim, I could have also stumbled across an amazing job opportunity, made a new best friend, or gotten to meet someone famous.*
I agree that the woman should have been wary of the guy from the get-go. I know I would have. But putting myself in a more trusting person’s shoes, I can see why she would feel like “in for a penny, in for a pound”. Which is probably the point of the guy driving to the Walmart in the first place. You trust Creepy Guy up to one juncture, and then it seems logical (if you aren’t naturally suspicious of people) to drop your guard and continue to trust. It’s so stupid what she did, but not so stupid that I can’t see myself doing the same thing, under more desperate circumstances.
Nzinga, I remember riding throughout the city on the MARTA train with you with the face and I when we were ten. We got lost a bunch of times, but we never ended up as victims on the six o’clock news. It would have been tragic if this had happened, but it would have also been tragic (IMHO) if we hadn’t been allowed to have those kinds of adventures. What’s funny is that I have never met a person who grew up in Atlanta during the 80s (the era of Murdered and Missing Children) who had a different experience. I guess it was the “it can’t happen to my kids” way of thinking that kept parents from losing their minds (and of course there wasn’t CNN to scare the bejesus out of kids and parents alike).
*I have this fantasy that one day Prince will pull up in his limo and whisk me away to Paisley Park.
Yes, I blame CNN and the rest of the media for making the stranger danger scare so big that parents just stopped using their common sense altogether about these matters.
My daughter knows that if she is ever hopelessly lost to the point where she has to worry about her immediate safety, such as the wilderness somehow…a stranger is a perfectly fine person to ask for help!
ETA: huh…I always thought Prince was Raspberry Hill or something like that.
I hate helicopter parenting and all the ridiculous paranoia that it brings, like with the bogeyman that is “stranger danger.” But that said, in this case, I do believe there must have been some reason the father was trying to have her declared unfit. I’d bet that these lapses in judgment weren’t just endemic to this particular instance.
No, but considering the possibility he is a pervert/criminal of some kind, and looking for suspicious signs while formulating an exit strategy, is a way to continue to have a life to go through.
One thing that struck me: Is this woman accustomed to going off with men who offer to pay for things? I do not wish to cast aspersions on, er, professional women, but that is probably not a good environment in which to raise children.
The only good to come out of this horrific tale is that the murderer will finally be put to death. Of that, I have no doubt. And I’d personally volunteer to be the person who flips the switch.
I have a suspicious mind too, and child-prostitution was one of the first things that crossed my mind as I read the article, another was an attempt at some sort of scam or blackmail.
I was a college student in a neighboring town when Patty Wetterling’s son Jacob was abducted. The Wetterling’s are widely regarded nationally for all they’ve done to educate, change laws, and advocate for families of other missing children.
But what I remember was the near-immediate suspicion and speculation cast upon the Wetterling’s themselves as the days passed and it became apparent that the story would not have a happy ending. People highly critical of her decision to allow two 11 and 12-year old boys to ride their bikes to the convenience store in their small town. People who didn’t believe the other boy’s accounting of the abduction. People who felt the Wetterling’s killed their son in a bizarre devil worship ceremony and fabricated the abduction tale to cover it up.
People will believe anything while blaming the victims in the process because it’s easier to lay blame and coulda/woulda/shoulda rather than accept that shitty things happen because evil people exist and we cannot control every circumstance and keep our children safe.
Yes, she made a foolish decision to trust a stranger. It was a tragic mistake with unimaginable consequences. My heart would rather ache FOR her and her family, and believe that she was the victim of a vicious criminal. All evidence for now seems to point to her being gullible and far too trusting of a “kind” stranger. She wanted her lite girl to have a pretty dress. In my line of work, I see that sad inability for parents to provide these things to their children reflected in poor decision making almost daily. Parents who buy school clothes instead of paying the electric bill and utilities are now shut off. Parents who buy birthday or Christmas toys instead of paying rent and are now facing eviction. The choices are ill-considered but the motivation isn’t. I don’t know what length I would go to in order to ensure my child gets more than just food on the table and a roof over his head. Fortunately, I have better options. And fortunately, I have never had to deal with tragic consequences of a distracted, stupid, hopeful mistake. Doesn’t mean I haven’t made them.
Don’t pit people for being stupid or unsuspicious or making a bad people judgement call. Not all people go around suspecting their fellow humans to be child murders. If anyone besides the child murdered that needs to die needs pitting it is the person that decided it was a good idea to release him from jail into the general unsuspecting population, despite his two previous convictions. They had the facts, they should have known better.
The fact is that this was the kind of absolutely awful judgment that lands kids in the hands of pedophile murderers. And I think the “demonization” should go as far as it is merited - specifically, she should be stripped of custody of her remaining children.
This is true, but there’s a difference between “Hey, can I help you fix your car, you seem to be stranded on the side of the road”/“You’re a buck short? Here, lemme help you”/“Want me to call a taxi” and “Here’s $100, can I take your young daughter out for lunch?”
No, she just deserves to have her remaining children taken from her, to prevent her stupidity from affecting the other kids in an as of yet “inconceivable act of idiocy”. This kind of stupid doesn’t just go away, it’ll manifest itself in something else down the line, jeopardizing the remaining kids.
I get almost everything in your story—including your later realization that you had acted dangerously—but I can’t understand how** late for Kindergarten** is an emergency. It’s not like your son was going to miss finals. At any rate, I’m glad no harm came to you.
Well I don’t know. One Saturday morning I went out to check my mail and a woman, accompanied by her son, in football gear, asked me how to get to the ground where he was playing soccer. Unfortunately she had got off the train a stop too soon and they were miles away from the ground. The poor kid was obviously distressed about missing his game so I drove them there.
I thought this deserved credit as an astute guess. I think it may be correct.
Hey, I missed a day of kindergarden back in 1974, and my academic record has been spotty since. I’ve spent 40 years trying to recapture that lost nap time.
Oh wait, this isn’t about the imaginary poster late for Kindergarten?:smack:
Damn it. Now I want a name change.