I’m reserving judgment on the mother because I just don’t know enough about what happened.
What the fuck fun is that?! These pitchforks and torches aren’t going to carry themselves! 
All that I (or anyone else, really) can say about this, reserving any rush to judgment, emotional response, or speculation as to motives whatsoever, is as follows;
Lady, ya done fucked up.
Now I want a name change.
I suppose, in retrospect, it wasn’t an emergency, but by that logic, running late is almost never an emergency. I mean, I can say it would have counted against him, and it would have, but not by much, and by the same token, being late for work is no biggie either. Yet most people running late for work will try very hard to make it in on time.
The school rule is you need to be there, in class, before a certain time. It’s was (still is) my job as his mother to get him there by that time. Due to my carelessness in oversleeping, I had failed to do my job as his mother properly, and that upset me. Not to sound snide, but I do take my kids’ educations very seriously.
Yeah, but it’s kindergarden. It’s not like he missed his chance at a Fine Arts degree in finger-painting.
I agree with this. Sometimes good people do stupid things.
Once I pulled into a convenience store/gas station with a tire that was low. At the time I had no idea how to add air to a tire. I left my four year old in the car to try and figure it out. As I was struggling a young man came up and asked me if I had a cigarette. I said I didn’t smoke but I would buy him a pack if he put the air in my tire. It wasn’t until I got back from purchasing them that I realized not only did I leave my child in the car seat with the door unlocked, I left the MOTOR running. If that person had decided to steal my car and/or abduct my child, it would have been my stupidity that caused it. I have a lot of sympathy for this mother and her stupid decision. How many of us can say we have never done a really stupid thing?
As long as you have a job that pays more than minimum wage, anyway.
None of us. Okay, now how many of us can say we have never done several distinct really stupid things in a row over the course of several hours? I think that number is far smaller, and a distinction several people are failing to make.
Now, I suspect the man involved was an expert at allaying a mother’s fears and hiding red flags, and deliberately sought out someone whose resistance to him was going to be low. So it’s not like I blame her more than the murderer or anything. But her stupidity was exceptional, not run-of-the-mill we-all-make-mistakes.
Just-world hypothesis got you down? :rolleyes: Her stupidity is only exceptional when viewed through the hindsightful glasses of internet badasses sitting atop their lofty armchairs. Plenty of people *in this thread *(and the world) have accepted similar offers of generosity and lived to tell the tale. You didn’t hear about those incidents because most people aren’t murderous pedophiles, not because they never happen.
Oh, we’re in the pit? Well… take that, you fucking idiot! And this! And how about some of that? Yeah!
When I was in college, I ended up in the apartment of a man I’d just met at a party, in the middle of the night, in a strange city. This was before cell phones, and I didn’t even have money to call a cab because I’d left my purse, which incidentally also contained the address of the place I was supposed to be staying at, in my friend’s car trunk. Long story, but let’s just say that I was intent on getting back at my boyfriend for ignoring me all night. It only dawned on me as I walked into that dark apartment with that 6’3" stranger how stupid I was being. But as stupid as I was, to this day I don’t believe I deserved what could have happened in that apartment, had he not been a gentleman.
Yes, we all have really stupid lapses of judgment. That doesn’t mean that the people who commit acts of violence aren’t 100% responsible for what they do.
I kinda-sorta get this, but for everyone who says getting to Kindergarten on time isn’t important… when does it become important? Obviously not in elementary school at all; very little of impact occurs there. Middle school is similarly unimportant. High school? Eh…
I guess it only matters once you’re in college and you have a final? That was the implication earlier. But, how does one have the skills to arrive on time for finals in college if no one’s ever placed any importance on punctuality for the first 18 years of your life? I think I’m going to stick with my plan of teaching the importance of school from day one.
I gather this particular kindergarten’s playground slides were famous for their slipperiness.
I think you’re right. My mom did this 35 years ago when we were on holiday in the medieval town of Fez in Morocco. My dad stayed back at the hotel, and mom and me walked to the Old Town. There, she was swarmed by Morrocan guys wanting to show her the town. Why they offered? Part of it was friendliness, part hoping to make a buck, part showing off, part.. maybe they were just bored. Anyway, she went with one guy and took me, her ten-year-old daughter, along as a chaperone.
I only remember the walk because I pointed out to my mom a shop with a striking black-and-yellow tile pattern. The guy thought I wanted one of the sickly sweet deep fried pastries the store sold, so he insisted to buy one for me, and my mom made me eat it so as not to be impolite. Yeach..
Anyway, nothing bad happened and the guy delivered us back at the hotel.
Very likely. But her approaching you is much safer than you approaching her, especially out of nowhere. I’m pretty suspicious, but it would pass the smell test for me. How many perverts hang around campsites waiting for women to come to them, anyway?
I would hope more than zero, but I admit I’ve never counted.
It would mean one less pervert actively looking for women, anyway.
Following the OP’s summary:
Thing 1: Being Approached and offered $100: a bit greedy, but totally forgivable.
Thing 2: Having to follow the guy to meet his “wife” at Walmart for the card: same.
Thing 3: Getting into the car. Not ideal, totally forgivable lapse in judgement.
Thing 4: Getting a lunch at McD’s: natural, even.
Thing 5: Parting from guy and 8-y-o dau. at the same time: unforgivable. Had this been Thing #1 or even thing#2, that would be a different story.
It’s not the mother’s fault; it’s the murderer’s fault. The mother doesn’t deserve this; nobody deserves to have their kid murdered. But the mother certainly exhibited several lapses in judgement over the course of a rather long period leading up to thing #5, and I can be sympathetic to her situation and still call her extremely stupid.
Just letting your kid go with a stranger isn’t in and of itself that big of a deal, especially if you’ve had a chance to meet the person.
That’s pretty sad. I’ve accepted lifts and given lifts to strangers all over Europe, and while I wouldn’t advice young women travelling alone to accept lifts from strangers, it never occurred to me that children in the company with adults should be particular concerned or at risk. Let alone to the degree that one should freak out over the kindness of strangers giving you a lift.
Mother has claimed multiple times that she didn’t let the girl go with him; she says she was distracted and didn’t know right away that her daughter had followed the man. Having seen my own sister equally oblivious when shopping with her large family, and given that it was 11 pm, AND that the police say only a short period of time elapsed before she called them… I find her version altogether plausible.
See, I agree with your last statement completely, yet I think that many are arguing against something that’s not being said. No one in this thread has said this woman or her child deserved the fate that be fell them. And literally everyone, including myself, has a story about how we have benefitted from the kindness of strangers. But as Dr. Drake pointed out more than once, it’s not about the one (or, to be fair, a few) slips of judgment most people have in these circumstances. It doesn’t take a bad ass Monday morning armchair quarterback to realize that, for the majority of people, warning bells would’ve been exploding in their head to RUN FROM THE “CREEPY” GUY long before the whole thing ended in police and tears.
Finally, if we personally can recognize what we’ve done in the past that was stupid (but turned out all right), why is it unacceptable to point out that her decision making was also stupid? We’re not saying it to her face, nor will we be the ones determining her conservatorship going forward. We’re just making observations on a message board with no indictments of anyone else or their behaviors.