FoieGrasIsEvil asked for money and I gave — a Thank You would’ve been nice

The BBQ Pit
1

You think? If I’m the only one who contributed and FoieGrasIsEvil didn’t thank then perhaps it’s just an anomaly. Maybe I am the only one, maybe not. Here’s a run down.

[ul]
[li]On 06 Jan, FGIE posted a thread in MPSIMS (Fellow Dopers…Please Help: https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=846304). His nicely-composed plea explained some of his current challenges, he set up a goFundMe site, and he asked dopers for some help.[/li][li]On 13 Jan, I spotted his thread. We’ve all been in jams before, and help is appreciated. I like to help when and where I can. I posted some encouraging words and sent this PM.[/li][/ul]

About 3 hours later FGIE replied.

Then,
[ul]
[li]On 16 Jan, I sent my PayPal donation to FGIE. There’s been nothing from him since. At the end of his thread, others have asked how he’s doing.[/li][li]On 21 Jan, Napier asked how he’s doing. No reply from FGIE there.[/li][li]On 21 Jan, StGermain offers a helpful suggestion.[/li][li]On 31 Jan, IvoryTowerDenizen asked how he’s doing. No reply from FGIE there.[/li][/ul]

Crickets, apparently. The same crickets I hear.

[ul]
[li]On 16 Jan, FGIE posted his last post in his thread.[/li][li]From 01 Feb to now, FGIE has posted almost 50x here on the dope, mostly talking about football and the Super Bowl, and oh yeah in the thread about if you had the cash, what 3 cars would you want to own. It’s his thread — the irony: https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=20774936#post20774936. He’s also started 2 other threads.[/li][/ul]

So FGIE has been very active here on the dope. But a quick Thank you for money sent when asked? Crickets. Oh well (sigh). On FGIE’s goFundMe site, he’s raised over $3,000. Fundraiser by Steve Genetti : Just Trying To Push Through.... Cool, I’m sure it has helped, and I’m happy for him.

But to date, no thank you from FoieGrasIsEvil. Am I being unreasonable? Am I expecting too much?

2

You’ll learn, never give money to an alcoholic.

3

I am NOT pointing any fingers at any particular person, including the subject of the OP. But as a recovering alcoholic with a few decades of sobriety, I learned loooong ago to never give money to anyone in early recovery, nor any alcoholic who is still drinking.

I’ve bought food for such folks, paid the rent directly more than once, but I will never hand over funds directly.

4

I think he was a little gushy in his thread asking for help. Maybe he is embarrassed to come straight out and thank people. He should of pm’d you though. I would think.

5

Yeah I’m learning my lesson.

6

If you want to help someone, then do it. If you are waiting on a thank-you, then your thoughts are with yourself. A thank you is nice, but if that’s why you’re giving, then don’t.

7

I agree. Why let his actions, or lack thereof, have ANY effect on your act of kindness?

Take great pleasure in the giving.

Leave all the rest.

8

By the way, that’s cool that you published here a private conversation that you had with FGIE. :dubious:
I hope I never need your kind of help.

9

A thank you would be nice, but this thread seems like a total dick move. What kind of a fucking ass shames someone else for the lack of a thank you.

10

What kind of fucking ass takes money from virtual strangers WITHOUT a thank you?

11

How does that excuse this thread though?

12

AFAIK, this thread doesn’t need an excuse. FGIE behaved poorly, and someone called him out on it in the appropriate forum.

13

OK to criticize someone. Not OK to do it in public.

14

Ooo, give him a cookie, he got the correct forum. It is still a dick move.

15

I’m not seeing the outrage. If you make the rather odd move of publicly asking strangers for money on the internet, and then don’t follow up to kind responses with basic civility, how else would you expect things to turn out?

I think the point has been well made that giving money to drinking alcoholics is a mistake.

16

It’s Bullit, what else do you expect? He’s shown himself to be a fucking ass many times over on these boards.

17

Without comment as to the sufficiency or timeliness of the thank you and really just for completeness, this was posted as an update to the gofundme (not immediately obvious) 26 days ago.

18

How was it a dick move?

The real dick move was begging for money on the board, and not thanking people.

19

First **kayT **summed it up nicely already.

But if you want more detail, when you give money, don’t do it expecting a reward or a thank you. It is without question the polite thing to do, but a thread like this is pretty close to a public shaming. If you don’t get that you were raised very differently from me. I get feeling a little miffed by the apparent lack of gratitude. sure, that’s human enough.

I don’t know Bullit, and knowing me will forget him again.

20

Unless you donated, I don’t see how this is any of your concern.