Do people who have given you a gift ever follow up on it and ask you about it? For example, if you received a DVD and you’re asked if you’ve watched it, how do you answer? If you haven’t gotten around to watching it or aren’t interested in it-- or if you did watch it but didn’t like it-- do you lie to avoid hurting their feelings or are you honest about it? How do you deal with people who might ask you why they never see you wearing the shirt they gave you? Does anyone ever have to deal with this potentially delicate social situation?
One time a friend gave me a Hall and Oates cassette (it was used, but that’s not really relevant here.) We were only 12 at the time, but I would have thought he had known my musical tastes enough to know that I hated Hall and Oates. When he asked me if I had listened to it and liked such-and-such song, I just said, “Oh yeah, that was a cool song”, though I probably didn’t sound too convincing of it.
Likewise, do you ever follow up on the gifts you have given to people, or would you consider doing so to be rude or somewhat less than tactful? I’d never do it myself. I’d rather be content with just hoping the recipient enjoys his or her gift and sees some value in it and can benefit from having it.
While I’m at it, have you ever had to feign your liking for a particular gift that you didn’t really care for, such as only wearing a particular shirt when you are around the person who gave it to you? Several years ago my parents got a calendar from my aunt and uncle (my dad’s brother and sister-in-law). They didn’t like the calendar, but they’d always put it up in place of their regular calendar whenever these people were visiting, but would keep it put away otherwise.
I try never to ask after a gift for fear of putting the person on the spot. However, if someone asks after a gift they gave to me, I pretend I liked it, no matter what.
I have an aunt who paints, and one year she gave me a painting. It’s just a landscape (or technically a riverscape), and she’s quite talented, but I just don’t really “get” art. So I hung it up in the living room and it stayed there for a couple of years. However, when I moved to a new house, it somehow got stored in the garage.
So, I don’t suppose you’re still looking for a home for that Hall & Oates cassette, by any chance?
I also try never to ask about gifts I’ve given someone. I try always to include a gift receipt or offer of the receipt so people can exchange if they want. I also want them to feel free to regift or sell on ebay or whatever if they don’t like something.
I definitely don’t like to be put on the spot about where a gift is. The only time this has really ever happened to me was with a gift from my grandma. Sadly, the gift was something we had picked out—a print. We picked it out when we were registering for wedding gifts. When we looked at it in the store, it looked great. It was just a scene in a small town with some neat houses. It was hanging quite a bit above eye-level when we looked at it. Grandma bought it for us and it hung in our first home for almost a year. Then we moved to our current house and it again had a place of honor. Then one day my husband pointed out to me something I had not noticed before. There was an elderly couple on one of the porches. Not a particarly cute elderly couple either. How this had escaped me before I have no idea, but it bothered me for months afterward. Then a miracle happened. During a family Christmas gathering that we hosted, the picture fell off the wall and the frame and glass broke. For probably a year or so afterward, my grandma kept asking if we’d had the opportunity to fix the picture, which of course we had no intentions of doing. Eventually she just stopped asking. It’s still stashed in one of our closets somewhere. I should get it out and see if I’m still repulsed by it.
Sorry, that cassette is long gone. IIRC I think I sold it at the used record store a couple years or so after getting it (this was over 20 years ago, God, I’m getting old!)
I don’t ask, and my gift-givers usually don’t ask. Sometimes I make a point of choosing a gifted item over another one if I’m going to be with the gifter and I don’t see them very often.
For books, we sort of have this sort of book club see… many books “do the rounds”. Heck: last year I was working in Costa Rica and went home for Christmas, only two weeks. Lilbro had bought three books for Middlebro and they weren’t wrapped. I’m the family’s official wrapper.
So I get home to Mom’s and Lilbro says “hey, these are for Middlebro so don’t leave them open facedown, but I figured you’ve got time to read them before you wrap them.” Yes, I did.
No, just old people on a porch, and I hate them. It’s a print of a painting, and the rest of it is really neat except these two old people. It’s hard for me to describe them but they look like your stereotypical grandparents—grandma’s got grey hair and glasses, grandpa’s balding and wearing overalls. They look like a cartoon compared to the rest of the picture. It’s really terrible.
When I used to give a lot of gifts I would ask about them.
Especially because I travel a lot, I would find great souvenirs and give them as gifts. When I found out that other people tucked them in the backs of cupboards I realized this was not a good plan - they were only special to me because I was there.
And vice versa, people would ask what became of the knickknacks they gave to me and I would have to say they were regifted.
Now I try to discourage all non-food/drink gift swapping.
