Fondly remembered lines from Mad magazine movie spoofs

Dude–check out my earlier post in this thread re a 1 year subscription for a mere $15.

From the parody of The Goonies:
“Wow, he must be some stud–where is he?”
“No, stupid–I said I saw a giant pair of tentacles, not–oh, never mind!”

I got the CD set brand new off eBay for $30! (including shipping!)

Also from 'Mission Ridiculous":

“Pardon me, sir, but do you have change for series E Savings Bond?”

Their introduction to Trapper John M.D., which starred Parnel Roberts.

So you’re starring in Trapper John, M.D. Did you play him in the movie MAS*H?

No, that was Donald Sutherland.*

So you played him on MAS*H the TV series?

No, that was Wayne Rogers

What have you done on TV?

I played a brother on “Bonanza.”

Really? Who else was in the show? What are they doing now?

Well, the guy who played my father starred in a really dreadful science fiction series, and is now pushing dog food. And the guy who played my little brother is living on a god-forsaken prarie with a bunch a kids.

Anyone else?

There was my other brother. He’s dead now.

How did that happen?

Accident with a horse.

Did he fall off of it?

No, he exploded after eating it.

*MAD had that wrong. Trapper John was played in the movie by Elliot Gould.