I was at a deli yesterday w/two others from my office. Also there were a passel o’ high school students. They were in two booths along the wall, w/a couple of tables slid up so they could all fit in. We were at the next row of tables.
Suddenly, the friend to my right (nearest the students) started squirming around. Apparently a couple of the kids had gotten annoyed w/each other and one threw a pizza sauce coated breadstick at the other.
Her aim was terrible and it flew far enough that it hit my friend, leaving several large pizza sauce stains on her white shirt.
I, being the official “old fogey”, alerted the manager.
who then consulted w/the deli owner and came out and told the kids to “knock it off”.
the young female who threw the breadstick countered with “but he started it”.
and that was it.
No apologies from anyone. No offer of help getting rid of the stains on my friend’s shirt. No offer of anything from any one.
She should have done what I saw a firefighter do in a bar one time. One of my female friends was flirting with their group, getting close to, and touching, one of them in particular. He put his arm around her, and she got offended. In response, she threw the rest of her beer (a couple of ounces at most) at him. He calmly got the bartenders attention, and ordered a Coors Light (they were only $1.00 on Wednesday nights!). He walked over to our group, and poured the ENTIRE glass onto her head. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Immature? Probably. But an apology doens’t get pizza sauce stains out.
Well it’s easy to say in hindsight (i.e. now) how you should / might have responded but I’d like to think I would have done the following. As a high school teacher, I don’t mind getting into it with the kiddies, bless their souls.
I would have gotten the manager back over and said to him that his efforts were ‘not enough’. Then with the manager there to give some authoritative presence we the adults, would have confronted the kids and told them that because of their actions, your friend’s shirt now has to be professionally cleaned. I would want the name and address of the student who threw the bread stick so that I could send her the cleaning bill. If she feels that her little friends are equally to blame, then they can determine that amongst themselves on their own.
If the kids decide to squawk -as they are wont to do- I suppose you would have to threaten to call the police which would seem unbelievably lame but what other course of action do you actually have? Unleashing the can of whoop-ass really only happens in the movies.
Having procured the girl’s name and address (I realize this represents a best-case scenario) I would turn my attention to the manager. I would have said that if this the type of clientele he prefers, dipshit teenagers acting like five-year olds, then he can have them. I would have informed him that his “Knock it off!” response was wholly inadequate and then I’d declare that this is the last time I would be frequenting the establishment and I’d leave.
Then (almost done) I’d take the shirt and try to find the most expensive dry-cleaning outfit I could find since my cleaner charges all of $0.99 to launder shirts. Maybe you could get one who would dry clean the shirt but it’s still not going to be more than $4.00 - $5.00. Then I’d send the bill to the girl, care of her parents, and wait to see what happens. If she actually pays for the cleaning, fine you move on. If she doesn’t, you move on just the same.
Sorry wring, maybe I should link more but usually do so reservedly. Yes, the comparrison was to a flinging monkey.
I like minlokwat’s idea of a responsible confrontation. I well remember several of us getting caught doing something stupid, entering the abandoned house of a man murdered by his attorneys for his money, and being held accountable by his bodyguard for the damange a couple of the kids did.
The bodyguard treated us forcibly but respectfully, made us work to pay a couple hundred bucks and it turned out to be a really positive, coming of age experience. Here 30 years later I’d still love to take hime to dinner and talk with him more as he’d look me in the eye and tell me why we were doing what we were and of his unfailing dedication to his friend.
Okay, so that’s more than a pizza stain. However, the principle and therefore the basis lesson stands. Reexamine with them the situation and logically present their obligation. You might be surprised at their acceptance and agreement. If not, their loss is the actual costly one.
