Look, besides the common annoyances (reiterated a thousand times already) picky-eaters thrust upon less high-maintenance diners, the fact is that food is a big deal to plenty of people, and we’re not going to get along well with people who have attitudes like this:
It’d be like me trying to befriend a group of atheletes and becoming indignant when they eventually become annoyed by my love of sitting in front of my computer or TV all day rather than playing sports with them every weekend. Everybody can’t get along, especially when we have vastly different interests. I’d expect those atheletes to dismiss me once they learned that I’ve never played a sport since I’ve been forced to in high school PE just as quickly as I’d dismiss a person upon learning that he doesn’t eat green peppers. I like to cook, I like to eat, and it would be pointless to socialize with someone with the exact opposite enthusiasm in that subject. If you notice that all the people you’re with take a certain area of life way more seriously than you do, why would they even be in your circle of friends?
And I repeat that just because you can tell the difference between the taste of various sea (or land) critters, doesn’t mean that Miller can. To him, all seafood tastes the same, and to him, it tastes bad. Insisting he should be able to tell the difference just because you can is like saying I should be able to undertand quantum mechanics just because Stephen Hawking can.
Why the idea that someone finds a food unpalatable is so upsetting I don’t understand. As long as no one makes an issue of it, what’s the problem? If you don’t like it, don’t eat it, but be polite about refusing. If you do like it, dig in, but don’t try to force it one someone who has chosen not to.
Diogenes, in case you don’t realize it, your posting has tipped over the line into inflammatory. You don’t have to make nicey-nicey, especially in the Pit, but you do need to tone back the venom. You’re becoming a one-man trainwreck. Cool it.
You know what? IRL, I never say shit to anybody about anything in this regard even if they are being giant, prima donna, babies with psychosomatic food issues and holding up the table to fucking whine to the waitress about how they can’t have any fucking pickle on their plate. I always keep my mouth shut and don’t make waves. I’m non-confrontational IRL, which is probably why I’m over the top on message boards. This is where I can vent.
I won’t say anything out loud, but when I see people acting like that- people who can never, ever fucking just once order something off the menu without having to change it somehow- people who I have to call before I cook for and get approval for my proposed menu (“I’m glazing a ham.” "Eww, I HATE glazes on hams)- all those fucking people who can’t seem to get it that their petty little food hangups are annoying and irksome and take all the joy out of any shared dining experience- when I see that stuff, I won’t say anything but I do THINK stuff and so does everyone else. You people should be made aware of that.
(DISCLAIMER: I exclude people who have legitimate food allergies or other real physiological issues with food)
I think a lot of the vitriol in this thread is coming from a misunderstanding. I haven’t seen a single self-described picky eater in this thread that comes across with the drama queen behavior that the foodies are up in arms about. If you don’t like and won’t eat certain foods, but are polite about it, that isn’t a problem. But there are people in the world who just throw ridiculous hissy fits when it comes to foods they don’t like. Maybe some of you have never seen the assholes in action. It’s certainly possible - they aren’t evenly distributed throughout the population. But they do exist. I’ve met a few. I know they’re real. And if some of the foodies have met a few too many drama queens in their lives, they might have become a little oversensitive to the whole “picky eaters” thing. But most of them have put disclaimers in that to me suggest that the picky eaters in this thread are not being ranted about. So can’t we just chill a little?
Guinastasia - About the whole “It makes me sad that you’ll never experience the joy of blah blah blah…” thing - what you need to understand is that for some people, hearing people say they don’t like a favorite food is akin to a book lover hearing someone say that they don’t like to read. Or hearing someone say that they just don’t enjoy sex. Does it affect me? Not at all. Am I going to make a big deal about it? Nope. Can they live their life happily? I’m sure they can. But I am going to think - “Wow. That’s kind of a bummer.” Just like someone who’s intensely anti-seafood would probably think “Eew, gross,” if they saw me with a big plate of calamari. It’s just one of those things. Intellectually, it makes sense - you like your things, and I like mine. But on an emotional, visceral level, it still seems incomprehensible that people would hate (or enjoy) eating squid.
I’m the same way. Where the problem, IMO, is most likely to occur is a dish that incorporates brocolli into it. Going back to the mushrooms, if someone makes spaghetti and the sauce has those little bits of fungus in it, I’ll eat it. But if I can snarl one away from the otherwise goodness of the pasta dish, you can bet there will be a little mound of shit-starved veggies left on the plate.
For the self described foodies like even sven or yosemite, I seem to recall from other threads that you are both vegetarians. If someone were to nag you about having a steak or a pork chop, the way people are going on in this thread, wouldn’t you be a bit upset? Ultimately, who cares what you are eating? Going out with friends is about companionship and spending time with those with whom you are close. Who cares if it can’t be at the best restaurant?
If you get so upset with someone who won’t eat onions or brussel sprouts don’t invite them. I wouldn’t invite a vegetarian friend to a steakhouse, just as someone who wants to go to the new tex-mex place probably won’t invite me.
So who wants some yummy capybara, with some of that cow’s blood that Lamia described the Masai as drinking.
That’s a good point. I am a compulsive reader and will read anything once. When I hear that so and so doesn’t like to read–I think “oh, how that’s too bad.” But I still treat that person with respect and civility. I don’t harangue that person with books I’ve tried and loved. I don’t question them about their reading level and if they were exposed to phonics at school at a young age etc. I get on with my reading! IF THEY ASK FOR A READING RECOMMENDATION–I only then do I give one.
To me, loving food is a hobby or an interest, like reading. If a foodie has gotten the gourmet kitchen outfitted and still doesn’t realize that their old college roomie or their SIL or whoever positively HATES rumaki–well, on their heads be it. Explore your life away. Buy your cookbooks, your gadgets, your hand ground spices–whatever. I hope you enjoy yourself, truly I do.
But don’t have me to dinner to taste test that new Thai recipe–have me over for a meal that you know we will both enjoy. Or don’t have me over for dinner at all–we can still be friends, really.
Just don’t tell me that I have the taste buds or palate of a 12 year old, b/c I don’t want to eat insert-name-of-new-food-fad-here.
And to the nasty remark re: Happy Meals etc–go to hell. I don’t even eat fast food. Ever. I believe in simple meals, well made–like alot of country cooking. I don’t need or want “nouvelle cuisine”; I loathe food fads–everybody’s cooking with a wok this year! or with cilantro! 10 tasty tips for brisket! :rolleyes:
Whatever. cook it and be done with it already–it’s a meal, not the Holy Grail.
It’s not upsetting to me, as I thought I had pointed out. It’s just the idea that “seafood” with so many different flavors within the group can be lumped together is as foreign to me as saying bacon and pork chops taste the same, and they’re from the same animal.
Miller has every right to not eat seafood. He has every right to say that anything from the sea tastes like shit. For all I know it does to him. I was trying to make the point that a lot of people write off seafood in general after trying one dish. And I was likening it to someone that tried beef liver, and wrote off bacon because it was a land animal. I thought the context was implicit in not singling Miller out, but I’ve been wrong before.
One more time, if someone doesn’t want to try a food I like, more for me. Especially swordfish. it’s already overfished so the fewer people eating it, the better for me.
People that insist on others trying food they don’t like is right up with people trying to get me to try a “good” wine. Especially Cabernet Sovignon (sp?). Hate it, won’t ever like it, would rather drink kerosene.
Not waiting, per se, but it certainly is fun.
Of course, I realize some Dopers may not share the same affinity I have for Pink Floyd, and recognizing this, I’ll try to tone it down.
Hehe! I lived in Minneapolis for two years. The butcher shop down the street from my apartment had a sign in the window that read “Fresh Lutefisk”. We apparently had a definitional crisis going on somewhere…
For one thing, I don’t “self-describe” as a foodie. I hadn’t heard that term until recently. Secondly, I mention on this thread (and the other) that I am a vegetarian, and as such, have seen the other side of this. Sometimes all I can eat at a restaurant is the baked potato. So that’s what I eat. Rather than insisting that the group change restaurants (not eat at the Steak House of Seafood Place which everyone really is eager to try out), I will eat my baked potato. I’m not saying that I don’t want anyone to ever take my preferences (or those of Picky Eater’s) into consideration, but my preferences shouldn’t take precidence over everyone else’s. Not every time.
I don’t want people fussing over me or making a comment about what I’m (not) eating, and I don’t give a damn what the Picky Eater eats. All I care about is that they eat it quietly, like I’m eating my baked potato, and not ruin everything for the whole group. I will happily sit next to Picky Eater (me with my baked potato, them with their . . . whatever) at whatever restaurant is chosen.
What bothers me is when we’re in a group, and everyone (but Picky Eater) is saying how they really want to go to the great new restaurant, but Picky Eater curls up their nose or sighs the sighs of a martyr and says there’s nothing there for them. So guess what? No great new restaurant. It’s Denny’s—again—because that’s all Picky Eater will tolerate. Yes, that pisses me off.
The same can be said to Picky Eater. Picky Eater should be able to suck it up and eat bread or baked potato or plain salad or whatever at a nice restaurant, rather than always expecting the whole damn group to eat at some boring, nasty or bland restaurant (that they won’t really enjoy all that much) just to cater to Picky Eater. If Picky Eater is there with the group for the companionship and spending time with friends, that is, instead of being a complete pain in the ass.
Now, once again, I’m talking about a very narrow set of circumstances, and a specific kind of behavior. If Picky Eater can eat whatever the hell it is they eat without bothering me, I don’t care. It’s not the Picky part that is a problem, it’s the Pain in the Ass part that’s the problem. If they don’t make a big issue out of their pickiness, chances are I won’t even notice what they will or won’t eat.
I don’t know about many of you, but defining the PIA Picky Person is more about assholery than food. In my mind, I am not talking about someone with a food aversion. I am not talking about allergies or other diet restrictions. I am not talking about any health related issue with food. The best way I think I can illustrate this is by relating the lunch conversation from my last teacher in service day.
Scenario: 1.5 hours for lunch in a suburban/mall infested area. 5 coworkers, all women.
TC: So where are we headed for lunch?
FB: Oh, I’m flexible.
DC: I’m starving, so anything sounds good.
KB: We’ve only got 1 1/2 hours, so it’ll need to be close.
MW: Just about anything sounds good.
TC: How about Mexican? Casa Bonita is pretty fast, and close.
FB, DC, KB: Sure! That sounds pretty good!
MW: Oh! I can’t eat Mexican food! Too many spices.
The rest of us: Oh, okay…
KB: Catfish Wharf is just down the road, and they have a…
MW: OH, NO! All that grease?! Yuk! I can’t eat there, either.
The rest of us: Well, what do you suggest?
MW: My favorite place is Larry’s Café!
The rest of us: Sure, okay. Who’s riding with whom?..
Cut scene to café: FB orders a chicken salad sandwich made with almonds and a salad with cranberry vinaigrette dressing.
KB: That looks pretty good.
FB: It’s tangy, and I like it
MW: Oh my GOD! How can you eat that?! Nuts were not meant to be mixed into anything other than cookies. I would absolutely GAG!
FB: I’ve always kinda liked chicken salad with nuts in it. That’s how I make it at home.
MW: And your family eats it? That’s disgusting. Chicken salad is bad enough, but adding all that junk to it is positively gross. I could never eat something like that. I’d probably rather eat crap.
Continue ad nauseum. That, folks, is a PIA Picky Person. Needless to say, we don’t lunch with her anymore.
Oh, hell. I can find something edible at any damn restaurant. But yes, I have my preferences. Sometimes they’ll be followed, sometimes not. Why the hell can’t I have preferences in food anyway?
Fuck it, I’m that drama queen picky eater who makes life hell for everyone, which is why (get this) I fucking hate going out to eat!
I think there is a foodie non-foodie disconnect here. Food, to me, is like art. It is one of my great joys in life. I seek to experience it and understand it. It is just as much of a creative and wonderful endevor as literature, film and music. It’s not merely a matter of fuel, it is one of my great joys.
I think a lot of foodies just don’t care.
So hearing someone who limits their palatte- and is not only okay with this but perversly proud- makes me feel kind of strongly. It’s like hearing about someone who only reads fantasy novels, or someone that won’t listen to jazz, or someone that hates all abstract art. It’s sad and kind of puts me on the defensive when people limit their worlds like that.
Personally, it’s not that much of a problem (in my opinion) to tell the waiter, “No mayonaise” or “No chicken” or whatever. I’ve been on a low-fat diet and I often ask for things like the salad dressing on the side. As long as you don’t make a big anal-retentive spectacle of it and are not really sullen or rude, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
What pisses me off is not even being able to go to the damned restaurant in the first place, because Picky Eater pouts or makes a stink about it.
