Satan was referring to a lesser known member of the Karamatzov family: Walenda Karamatzov.
Re: Goal Post Location
For years the goal posts were located at the goal line. In fact, you can see many times on older NFL footage this exact thing.
It was moved back in the late '60s or early '70s mainly because - foreshadowing the rules change I mentioned above about ball placement after a missed FG - kickers were getting too good and moving the goal posts 10 yards back was a way to make it so you had to earn your points. I’m sure another factor was people running into the goal posts. Even though they were (eventually) padded, they were dangerous.
In addition, please note that the college goal posts are larger than the pro ones. Makes sense - they’re PAYING the other guys.
Re: Fair catches
The forthcoming XFL will outlaw the fair catch.
Re: CFL Rules
Don’t fucking ask me… I do know the one pointthing is called a Rouge and it is scored when someone tries a FG, a defender grabs it as if he is going to return it but is tackled in the end zone, IIRC.
The field is wider, they only have three downs to make a first down, and players are allowed forward motion before the snap (like in arena football). This all adds up to a league where the premium is on passing, and scoring is insane. The '85 Bears woulda gave up 30 points a game with those rules…
Re: Glee’s hyping of rugby and dissing of football
Well, you don’t have to watch it. We could argue that triathletes, or maybe decathletes are the best all-around athletes too, you know. Big whoop.
Yer pal,
Satan
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Satan, I don’t think that glee was specifically hyping rugby or dissing football, and he certainly never said that rugby players were the best all-around athletes. It looked to me like he was just adding another data point ot the discussion, concerning a similar sport with which he is more familiar.
Missed extra point attempts (either kicks or plays) can be run back for points only in college football. If you miss it in the NFL or high school, the play is over.
For me the 1-point defensive safety is like the white rhino, the rarest of the rare. If I see it my football life has been complete.
I cover high school football parttime for a local paper and I’ve seen points scored in nearly every fashion: runs, passes, interceptions, fumbles, kickoff returns, punt returns, free kick returns, field goal returns, field goals, blocked punt returns, blocked field goal returns, 2-point safeties, plays with multiple laterals.
But I’ve never seen the 1-point safety. It’s on the books in high school and college football only in the US.
I believe that dropkicks are no longer legal in college and high school football.
Also, the fumblerooski, a play where the QB deliberately places the ball on the ground so an interior lineman can pick it up and run it in for a touchdown (it’s nearly impossible to defend), is no longer legal in college football. It’s still legal in high school.
Description of one relatively recent quick kick.
I found the CFL website, and they are good enough to have the rulebook in its entirety online - something that the NFL has not seen fit to do, for some reason (all they have is that ^#*#^ Digest).
According to it, the Canadian field is 65 yards wide. 110 yards separate the goal lines, and end zones are 20 yards deep. This means that the entire playing area in the CFL is 150x65 yards, compared to 120x53[sup]1[/sup]/[sub]3[/sub] in the NFL - good luck fitting one of those fields in your average NFL stadium.
Apparently, they have some trouble doing it, too. There’s a clause in the rulebook about how it’s OK to truncate the end zones, if necessary. I seem to recall seeing games back in the 80’s where the corners of the end zones collided with the running track that bordered the field - in such cases they’d draw a rounded line just inside the track, cutting the corner - that was the new boundary of the field.
I can’t recall just how long/wide a standard Olympic 400m running track is, but I suspect that a full CFL field won’t quite fit inside one.
Chronos,
thanks for your support. 
I’ve watched Rugby, Soccer (as you chaps call it) and Cricket for around 35 years.
My first SuperBowl saw John Riggins running in a few (4, I think) for the Redskins.
(And it won’t take long for this board to … name that year!)
We get good TV coverage over here of lots of American sports.
Satan,
I like American Football because:
- there are tactics (it’s like a game of chess!)
- the action is fast and furious (though some timeouts seem a little contrived for the TV adverts)
- the commentators are well-informed (John Madden is no. 1, of course)
- the crowds are well-behaved and enthusiastic
Ok, that’s my knowledge of American Football.
How much do you know about rugby? 
Trust me, the top guys can punt, kick and drop-kick.
I accept the point made earlier that having a punter and a kicker gives you backup in case of injury.
But if you want to combine them, it can certainly be done.
There is no standard width for any running track according to the IAAF. It just has to be 400m around and have turns of equal size. You can make it as wide or as narrow as you want.
However, you do need a relatively wide area for the javelin and hammer throwers. I think you would need at least 50m to be safe.
The CFL used short end zones during its ill-fated expansion into the US. I recall seeing a game in Memphis on TV where it looked like the field was stuck in with a shoehorn and not very well.
…but, surely, it pales in comparison to the trepidation brought about by cricket, doesn’t it?
Sorry, glee. I took your points wrong…
Oh, and the NFL rule on a turnover on a 2-pt. conversion or a blocked PAT is that the play is dead right then.
In college, however, intercepting or picking up a fumble and returning it to the other end zone, or even picking up a blocked PAT and doing the same - will get you those same 2 points.
Yer pal,
Satan
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Somebody mentioned coffin-corner punts. Why the hell have those fallen out of favor in the NFL? When you’re too far away for a comfortable field goal attempt, you still have a pretty good angle for your punter to get it out of bounds inside the 10. Half the time a straight punt from there will go into the end zone anyway, so why not try it?
The NFL goal posts were moved from the goal line to the back line for the 1974 season, as I recall, precisely because the game was becoming too dependent on little European placekickers. There were a lot of other rules changes in that package, too - the hash marks were moved in, the Y-shaped posts were required, the ball was placed on the former line of scrimmage after a missed FG (the change to the spot of the kick was more recent), and a few others I can’t remember.
Anyway, it’s worth mentioning that short FG’s and EP’s actually became EASIER. With the closer hash marks, the worst angle of the kick became less acute (more apparent distance between the uprights), and the kicker didn’t have to get as much loft on the ball. Previously, a FG try from about the 1 required the ball to be kicked almost straight up.
I think punters are able to kick a ball in such a way that when it bounces, it should go straight up or at least not too far forward. Most teams have guys fast enough to run down to stop the ball. Also if a ball is bouncing around inside the 20, you never know if the receiving team might accidentally touch the ball and give you a chance to get a cheap turnover.
Not sure if this rule still holds in the CFL but there was a time when the punter could run down the field and recover his own punt, thus giving the ball back to his team (the “no yards” rule did not apply to him).
Satan,
no problem -we’re both football fans!
OK, I admit most cricket is too sloooooow.
There is a quick version (still takes all day :o ), which has a good climax.
Punters in rugby often try to make the ball ‘sit up’ suddenly so a runner can grab it in full stride. It’s similar to a football restart where you try to ‘roll’ the ball along the ground for your onrushing line.
So cricket is what the kids are calling it these days?
I don’t know about the CFL, but that’s definitely not a rule south of the 49th parallel (speaking euphemistically).
The punter can return his own blocked punt if it is recovered behind the line of scrimmage. Place kickers can do so as well. Green Bay kicker Chester Marcol won a game in overtime once when his field goal was blocked back directly to him and he ran it in for a touchdown.
I’m not positive on the detail about it being an overtime.
Satan, thanks for the info on the XFL not allowing the fair catch.
Now, let’s see if we can talk them into only allowing three punts per game. Think of the strategy, the 4th and short plays, the 4th and long plays, the great field position, and the chance for one more thing to scream at coaches about!
Bucky
Not allowing the fair catch on punts is a recipe for some severe injuries. I hope Vince McMahon knows that football players aren’t acting out their violence. They’re really hitting other people.
However, since most XFL players are going to be pretty bad, perhaps they won’t be good enough to hurt each other.
Yes, and I saw this happen against my home team Bombers…
Their punter shanked a kick (only aobut 20 yards), and we were caught unaware, so the stupid linesmen were waiting for the punt returner to come and get it, then BOOM! The opposing punter comes out of nowhere and gets the ball. penalty flags fly, the refs have a conference, and they are allowed to keep it.
I think that was against Toronto and Noel Prefontaine was the kicker.
The deal with the “rouge” (no one calls it a rouge. we call it a single)
It’s basically a touchback that awards the kicking team one point. The only exception is for interceptions in the end zone, when the single point is not given
And as for missed field goals, of COURSE you can return them here… Happens all the time. I guess it’s because the teams don’t want to give up the single, and there’s more chance of gaining yardage because of the wider field.
God, I love football!
Years later, the Cowboys were playing in a Monday Night game (I believe it was against the Lions) when the opponent lined up for a game winning field goal. The Cowboys blocked it. One of the commentators yelled “Don’t touch it, Leon.”
IIRC, Leon Lett was the guy in the Super Bowl who returned a turnover for a touchdown. Or, at least, he was going to, except he was preparing to spike the ball as he reached the goal line and Steve Tasker stripped it from him.
Can you imagine if you lost your Super Bowl pool because of that non score?
**
As I understood it, the pass was delivered to the Steelers fullback, Frenchy Fuqua, at the same time he was hit by Jack Tatum of the Raiders. It then bounced off one of them (replays were inconclusive as to who) and Franco Harris caught it and returned it for the game winning touchdown.
BobT–what was the rationale for outlawing this rule? (I thought it was stupid and artificial to make it illegal.) Also, HOW did they outlaw the rule? How is it enforced?
Finally, would such a play be legal in the NFL?
Speaking of the kicking game, in a baseball thread, Stuyguy mentioned the weirdest play he ever saw (Tommy Prothro splitting the offensive line). I didn’t want to hijack that thread any further, so I’ll do it here. 
The weirdest play I ever saw was a fake field goal, where the holder tried a shovel pass to the upback behind the line. A defending player trying to block the field goal caught the ball on it’s way back towards the line of scrimmage. He was credited with an interception.